Participants:
| Scene Title | Sleeps Beneath the Waves |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | But I remember… |
| Date | December 3, 2018 |
The Pelago
Everything is so dark
And I know there’s something wrong
But I can’t turn the light on
The vast and indifferent sea rocks the Featherweight to and fro gently. It’s before dawn and the captain and his first mate are up for the day. Jimmy’s gone ashore already on business, leaving Destiny on deck with a mug of tea held in her fingerless-gloved hands. She watches the steam rise as the sky begins to blush pink where the sun kisses the horizon.
In that split second change
When you knew we couldn’t hold on
I realized I lived to love you
“Will you be back soon?”
“Just as soon as I find her, ruiseñorita.”
“I’m going to miss you. Why can’t I come with? I want to meet your mommy too.”
“Because you are little and you have to go to school.”
“I’m not little! I’m —”
“Fierce. I know.”
Save yourself
Don’t look back
Tearing us apart
It had been easy to accept it when her parents had died. She’d seen them laying there, broken shells of themselves. Bodies, and no longer people. It had been harder to believe that Mateo Javier Ruiz could be defeated by water. Even though she’d seen what happened to the world. She’d seen the vehicles full of families that never made it out. Seen corpses floating in the water, picked apart by fish and gulls.
Until it’s all gone
The only world I’ve ever known
Sleeps beneath the waves
But she hadn’t seen him. No body, no death. Just like she’d insisted about Sirius Black in the Harry Potter series.
But I remember
“I have to go with them, Jimmy. They say Mateo Ruiz found the Commonwealth. I have to find him.”
“And what if you don’t?”
“I have to. I know that I will. I know he’s alive. Please. He’s all I’ve got left.”
What a cruel thing that was to say to him. Des closes her eyes tightly and shakes her head against the memory. “Idiot.” Jimmy had been right. She hadn’t found him there. Only the ghost of him remained in that place. Memories passed down that could only do so much to ease the pain in her heart.
But there hadn’t been a body. She’d been wrong about Sirius. Was she wrong about her brother? Did he fall through the veil and find only death? Or did he find the garden, like they’d always said they would.
I won’t give up on you
I can feel you in my heart
Just show me the way
A look is cast to the Pelago as it slowly begins to wake. Most of the fisherfolk have already set out for the day, but there are some who still cast off the pier, and she can watch their tiny forms from her distanced vantage.
When Jimmy gets back, she’ll apologize. For something he probably doesn’t even remember her saying. But what if he does? Destiny’s heart sinks. “I double have to,” she murmurs to herself resolutely.
I don’t belong here
Alone
“Tell Ruiz I found his fuckin’ headphones.”
Ruiz. The name wasn’t uncommon, but she’d spent so long listening to the broadcasts, hearing familiar names. This one… This had to be him, didn’t it?
“Dess, are you crying?”
She brings a hand to her face and is surprised to find the dampness of tears on her cheeks. “What the fuck?” Destiny looks around the table, startled. That might be the very first time she’s ever said the eff bomb. Especially without stuttering. It’s hard to commit to words she’s not supposed to say.
I can still see your face
Where it’s burned into my mind
I die every time I close my eyes
The reactor level is off limits, but she is determined. The patrol schedules are committed to memory and it’s easy enough to slip in and out of the spaces she wants to be. Today, she stands just beyond the place where it happened. The door is welded shut, like it’s his tomb. Destiny reaches out and rests her hand over the seam of bubbled metal that disrupts the otherwise smooth surface of the doorway.
Blue eyes close slowly and she listens to the constant noise in her mind. More importantly, she listens for its harmony. The descant to her melody. Can she still feel the resonance of El Umbral in this place after all those years?
You’re always there
“Don? Are you in there still? I… You missed dinner. So I thought you might want something to eat. I brought stew.”
“Don? Please open the door. I’m worried about you.”
Save yourself
Don’t look back
Tearing us apart
Gunshots ring out in the hall. She’s crouched behind the machine’s console, crying fearfully. What had happened? Why was it all unraveling? They had all listened to the same broadcasts. They’d all lost someone they were trying to find. Why had it made him mean?
Until it’s all gone
The only world I’ve ever known
Sleeps beneath the waves
Blood. So much blood. Too much blood. More shells, no more people. Lance hadn’t been much older than her. It was so senseless.
A tear runs down Des’ cheek. She exhales a shuddering breath and brings her tea to her lips. The warmth of it chases away some of the unbidden thoughts. Most of her time in the Ark had been happy. She’d made friends and they’d discovered something so wondrous that almost nobody would dare to believe.
But I’m the one who’s drowning
Without your love
I am lost and I can never go back
How had it all gone so horribly wrong? What had Don heard in those airwaves that the rest of them hadn’t? Was there anything there, or had all the years under the water caused him to crack? She always wondered how they all survived down there as long as they had. Even she had trouble keeping her optimism the first few months when the stir craziness settled in.
Home
She needed the freedom of the sea.
All across the ocean
We are calling
Calling
She needed her family.
Are you there?
The storm causes the wind to whip. Sleet pelts her face where her hat can’t be pulled down far enough to cover. She hadn’t had time to dress for weather. She’d almost forgotten what weather was even like.
“Hang on, Else. He said he’d come for us. I know he will. He won’t leave us here.”
They’d nearly crashed the sub in their effort to pull up close enough to land that they wouldn’t have to dive into the water on their exit. They’d likely freeze to death. It was already so cold. Huddled to the taller blonde for warmth, she entertains the notion of closing her eyes and dozing off until help arrives.
Then, a light in the distance. A boat.
Jimmy.
And nothing left for me ‘til I find you
He’d come for them, just like he promised. He had every right to leave them behind to rot in that place. He’d told her. A thousand times, he had told her she was chasing a fairy tale. That she wouldn’t find what she was looking for. But in the end, he had let her go.
He had loved her that much.
A shaky hand comes up and wipes away a fresh wave of tears.
Because it’s all gone
The only world I’ve ever known
Sleeps beneath the waves
Maybe it’s time to admit that he’s gone. Maybe it’s time to accept that the world consists of the things in front of her. It’s time to stop chasing a ghost who made his own choices and did what had to be done in the name of love.
The ocean slips out of focus as tears cloud her vision. The brother she loved is gone. But she has another chance to make things right for another version of him and the woman he loves. And their children. Maybe they aren’t her real family, but in this moment, she realizes her family isn’t just the one she was born into.
Mateo, Lynette, and Evie.
Odessa.
Jimmy and Carina.
Else.
But I’m the one who’s drowning
Without your love
I am lost and I can never go back
Chel, Edward, Ria, and Joy.
I can never go back
Her eyes fix out on the horizon. Further than she can see, there’s a tower shining like a beacon.
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