A Decision About Indecisiveness


abby4_icon.gif katherine3_icon.gif

Scene Title A Decision About Indecisiveness
Synopsis Abby and Katherine are studying for tonight's class. Abby talks to Katherine about employment, decisiveness and the future.
Date November 4, 2009

Old Lucy's: Upstairs

It's been a few weeks in class for Kat Marks and she's about halfway to the point of catching up. Doing double the work should get her to the the same place as everyone else in another couple of weeks. The study time with Abby has been very helpful. For one, if Katherine finds herself distracted, Abby will bring her back around. They've been at it for a couple of hours now and getting close to having to get ready for class.

Whatever refreshment that may have been provided by the hostess have gone unattended. Not because Katherine isn't hungry or thirsty, but she still occasionally forgets she needs these things. With the arguments going on in the apartment between Veronica and Brian, Kat spends as much time as she can away.

"This Pharmacology stuff is kind of hard," Katherine notes as she reaches up to scratch her head. "Oh wait." She flips back a few pages in her text and draws a line with her finger down the book until she finds what she's looking for. "The answer is 'antiepileptic.'"

"I think, this is the hardest part for me. The pharmacology stuff too. But I call up Megan if I have questions and she gets me back on track" Kat's cup of tea is nudged towards her in a not so subtle 'drink me' gesture. It's almost like taking care of someone who's brain damaged to a degree. Maybe Kat is, maybe she isn't, Abigail doesn't care. She's actually come to enjoy being around the other woman despite the background she comes with.

"I keep getting worried that i'm writing down the wrong dosages or something, that i'll get a test back with a big fat read fail on it" Spoken even as she's writing down some things on her notebook with blue pen and the specified doses that would be required for the problem at hand. "You doing okay though? You think that you'll be able to catch up and not burn yourself out?"

If there's one thing about Katherine Marks that could be consider good or bad as each person might distinguish different — she rarely shows emotion. So she doesn't often get frustrated or stressed. If directed to do something she will, as she does with the cup of tea that nudged towards her. She rarely complains about anything, and just follows through as best she can. Maybe it's something that'll help her in this new job she hopes to be able to do soon, not having that capability to become emotionally attached to a patient. Then again, some say that's an important piece to what she's trying to do.

"I should be okay. I've been able to shorten the gap, so hopefully it won't be long before I've caught up. How's the class going for you?" She glances up at Abby with her blue eyes as she sets the teacup back down.

"Its hard. It's not a struggle, not right now, but it's sure hard" A challenge. Part of her has moved forward in doing this because of Conrad and the verbal ass kicking he gave her. Doing something in his honor to prove that she can do it. "Some days I just want to ignore homework and just go serve alcohol downstairs. It's a lot easier because at least if I screw up a drink right, it's not gonna kill someone for sure" She works at another problem, doing the calculations on a little notepad of paper. She's not a do the answer in her head kind of girl, not yet.

"But you're helping. You're patient and between you and Johan, I don't walk into class thinking i'm not meant to be here" She offers a smile over to Katherine. "How's everything not related to school going for you" She's not minded the other woman being over so much, hasn't really questioned why, just opened the door when she knocks without compuction and sets down to working and reviewing.

What? Life outside of school? Does she even have one? That takes a moment of consideration before she just gives a shrug. It's one of those things she doesn't really think to hard about. If answers don't come easy for her, her response is usually just a shrug. "I think I need to find a place to live soon." She still has some savings left that she's been living off of, when she remembers she needs something, that is. And it's not that Veronica has made her feel unwanted, just the opposite in fact. Though Vee is usually working and Kat has never felt all that comfortable around Brian. "Maybe when I start working again." Of course, what that means, isn't really clear. It's not like she can go back to the Company, which is really why she's taking classes.

"The offer still stands, to work part time in the bar, until your done school. Can always use an extra hand here. I just had one of the bartenders leave. You pick up information pretty fast, i'm sure after a weekend you'd do fine with behind the bar and serving beer and other drinks" The pink hue hair'd woman offers up. "Or there's a building down the road, that I used to live in. I'm sure with a reference, you can easily get into the Village Renaissance. Inexpensive rent, nice space and good security"

Without even thinking about it, Katherine is scribbling 'Village Renaissance' across the top of her text book page, along with 'references'. That might be difficult. She glances up at Abby for a moment, the words of Veronica ringing in her brain about it being a dangerous area, so the offer of a job conflicts with what she's been told. "I don't think I'm supposed to work in a bar." The words aren't as convincing as they might ought to be, but she'll talk to Veronica about it again. Or maybe she should make this decision on her own. Decisions. They are always so hard for her. "I mean, if you think it's a good idea, maybe I could." Indecisive.

"It's not what I think Katherine. It's what you think. Some day soon, you're gonna have to make choices for yourself. You're gonna get out there in the world and put what we've learned here to the test and you're gonna have to decide on stuff. Who do you save first, who gets what." Abigail glances up and leans forward. "Whether you want coffee or tea at the starbucks drive thru when you're driving with Stephen in the ambulances" Steven, you know, that other guy in the class who's been making eyes at Kat.

Steven who? What? "I know. I think when it comes to that, I'll know what to do. I'd like to think I would. I just have a hard time trying to decide what's best for me sometimes. I honestly wonder if I'll always be broken, or if somehow, someway I'll be unbroken. I know there's something wrong with me. There's plenty that I don't remember, but somehow in the end, it doesn't seem all that important to me." Of course, now that Abby has brought it up, something dawns on her. "I should probably find out if I have a driver's license. I mean, if I'm going to have to drive an ambulance." Deflecting? Not Katherine.

'That's easy enough, I can have liz look and see if your in the the DMV system" Abigail offers, concern at the comment about being broken. Part of her stifles the urge to expose her to deckard with the hopes of maybe, there IS something to fix. "Steven, the really tall blonde, always wears the foo fighters T-shirts or some sort of witty saying on them. Who's always bringing two coffee's to class and lingers behind you and yet, never gets the nerve to give you the coffee." Poor Abby, unknowledged that Kat swings for the other side of the baseball team. Poor Steven.

"You not have a gut instinct that tells you things? There's a part of your brain, that deals with reasoning, that is responsible for that, for the self to make decisions. Maybe, that's whats broken?"

Poor Steven, indeed. Of course, sexual preference hasn't been an issue for Katherine since she's woken up. Maybe the attraction part of her brain is a little jumbled as well. Or she just hasn't found that someone special, or whatever it's called these days. She wrinkles her nose a little as she listens to Abby talk about Steve and she shrugs. "I just thought he was thirsty." Clue-less.

She leans back on her hands as Abby asks her about instinct. "I just sort of do things that seem right. It's hard to explain. Like when I saw people trying to help those when that building collapsed a few weeks ago. I just felt like I needed to be there and to help, so I went."

"But, you don't know whether you should work at the bar or not" Abby points out kindly. "Maybe the feeling right about helping, had something to do with what you did before you were broken" Or maybe not. All Abigail knows is that Kat was a company agent and she's not supposed to delve deep into that. Most company agents she's met have been level with her and she trusts them. To a degree.

"Well, I was told that I worked for Homeland Securty and did agent work. That I got shot in the line of duty, but then I supposedly died, but didn't die. So, I don't know if that's what this is about or not. I just have this strong will to assist. Maybe I was helpful in some way. I'll have to ask Vee."

She's quiet for a moment, then nods. "Okay. I'll work at the bar. I don't know that I'll be any good, but I can try, right?"

"Can't ever hurt to try and it'll force you to interact with people more than just me, or Veronica. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out and you've earned some pocket change" Abigail points out. "And Kat, there's a difference between Instinct, like you had with helping people, and making decisions. One just happens, you just know. It's an unconscious thing. Making a decision is a conscious effort. Requires you to think, not to just react. As a homeland agent, i'm sure you did a lot of reacting. THinking too, but I bet a lot of what you did was following your instinct. Which is good, we'll have to do that a lot too with being an EMT"

Katherine nods as Abby talks, though it's probably far too much serious talk for her for one day. She finds her eyes drifting down to practice quiz. The next question is about anticholinergic and she starts flipping through her text then looks up at Abby, "Oh. When should I start working?" Probably good to know when to show up for work.

"Tuesday. it's a quiet day. Weekend will be real busy. So Tuesdays better, can come in during the day and we can get you broken in on the daytime regulars" Abigail grins, reaching over to hesitantly touch kat's hand. "It'll be fine kat, really. Life is gonna work out for you. Heck, if you want, I can introduce you to a friend, who can hold your hand and show you a glimpse of the future. That's his ability"

There's a bit of an innocent smile that comes across Katherine's face as she listens to Abby's offer of taking a peek at her future. Then shakes her head, as her hair sways back and forth. "I think I'll make my own." Future that is. She pats Abby's hand and then asks her a question about atropine, since it's the next question on the practice quiz.

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