A Song In Every Future

Participants:

adel2_icon.gif elaine2_icon.gif quinn5_icon.gif

Scene Title A Song In Every Future
Synopsis Friends gather as family to share the sadness they have been burdened with, and come up with a way to celebrate a life.
Date December 1, 2011

Pollepel Island



Staring at shadows on the wall
Wondering where I left it all
Knocking pictures off the wall
Memories, just let them fall


Another day, another song. Today, Robyn Quinn finds herself sitting on the edge of a half collapsed, waist high wall, sunglasses on her face as she looks up at the midday sun. Her sparkling red acoustic guitar is draped across her lap, fingers strumming up and down the strings as she loses herself in the singing.

Shadows on the wall
Just waiting for your call
Words written here so small
Memories, just let them fall


Every now and then, someone stops and watches her play. She's on her fifth song, most of them ones she's never played in public before. That doesn't mean she doesn't know them all by heart. After all, she was supposed to have an album coming out some time this month. Was. Somehow, this eases that thought.

Don't go, don't go
No more hide and seek
No more waiting in the dark
For years of my life I wanted to know
Your hand resting on my cheek
Just waiting for that spaaaaaark


She smiles, lost fully in her song now, taking a deep breath before she repeats the chorus again, beginning to sway back and forth on her perch, eyes always angled down towards the ground.

After leaving Alaska, Adel took her time making it back down to the city. She would have been more bold in travelling if things had gone differently, but bold isn't exactly on her set list anymore. Not after. When she ran into Elaine near the place where the boats meet, she gave her mom one of the biggest hugs she ever has. The whole time they've been together she avoided questions, and seemed overly jumpy. Much more so than she's ever been. She'd never really been afraid of the little things before.

She never had to be. Every bump on the boat, every unknown sound in the air, she jumped just a little.

But she didn't explain why. As soon as they arrived on the island she immediately started asking around, seeing if Ygraine or Quinn were around— and someone pointed them in the right direction…

And as they came upon music, she finally smiled again. She waits til it's done before she starts clapping. Music makes everything a little bit better.

Well, almost everything.

Visiting Pollepel was something Elaine had thought about doing but never really had the drive to do. Quinn had said something about it being important to smile and cheer people up, and given that she had business on the island itself, she had taken the opportunity. Meeting Adel was a pleasant hug-filled surprise, but there was something off about the way Adel moved, the way she reacted.

Elaine could tell there was something up. Maybe mother's intuition.

She knew not to press, she'd seen when people were this jumpy before and that required a bit of a gentle hand, so instead she let Adel be Adel and Elaine followed along. When at last they came upon Quinn, it was music that greeted them. Prompted by Adel's clapping, Elaine joins in.

"You always put on such a lovely show, even when you aren't trying."

Quinn had just strummed the last note when she hears clapping behind her. It brings a wide smile to her face, the Irishwoman letting out a long sigh. With things the way they were, being able to play music and have it be appreciated by others it made things almost seem not s-

That voice.

Quinn's reaction to hearing a Elaine is something to behold. For once she doesn't feeze in place, or laugh and make a joke, or pretend not to hear her. Quinn is so taken aback she scrambles up to her feet- one of them slides, slips. Sitting on top of the crumblind stone as she is, the sudden movement mixes with her surprise, the results of which are probably hilarious in slow motion.

With a yelp and a cry, Quinn tumbles over the edge and to the ground on the otherside. Flat on her back and with the guitar laying next to her, she groans. "Elaine?" she calls back up, horsely. "Please tell me that's actually you an' I didn't just hullucinate my way on my ass." Her sunglasses have fallen off her face, leaving her laying there with her eyes squeezed shut.

"If she's an hallucination than we're both having one," Adel responds with a laugh, one that sounds forced somehow. It never had to be forced before. Almost as if she's trying way too hard to give off the appearance that everything is totally normal in Adel-land. Too bad it's not. She moves over, still smiling in that half-forced way, though she'll let her mom do the helping up, in this case.

"I should teach you some songs you write in the future sometime, though I won't be able to perform them half as well. Technically you wrote them, so they're your songs, you just wrote them in the future. And since it won't happen the same way now you may never write them." But Adel remembers them. So they still count, right?

If Cardinal was right, their future still exists somewhere, somehow. So the songs do too. Why shouldn't they also exist here, in this time?

"I hope I'm an attractive hallucination then." Elaine giggles, genuinely looking pleased to see the woman who landed ass-over-teakettle in front of them. "Don't worry, it's me. I dropped in for a very brief visit, so I can't stay long but I'm glad I can get the chance to see you."

Her gaze turns to Adel, studying her in silence before piping in. "I think you called that cheating once. I still don't see why not. Maybe learning them means more time to improve upon them. We make our own future, don't we?"

And then she hears Adel, and suddenly the last thing on Earth Robyn Quinn wants is to get up from where she's laying. Not that she doesn't want to see them, but- Well. It's complicated. Life is complicated right now, as she no doubt expects both of them know all too well. She lays there for a moment, catching her breath, before she finally sits up. She keeps her eyes closed as she feels around for the waist high brick she'd fallen from and pulls herself to her feet.

"I'm so glad y' both decided t' stop in," she says quietly. She's only half lying at this point. She offers a week smile to them as she turns in the direction she heard their voices from. "I'd love t' hear some a' my own songs sometime. But also-" she throws open her arms in a grand gesture. "Those aren't my songs anymore," she says, eyes still closed. "I think they're yours now, Adel." It's meant to be more uplifting than it sounds, actually.

"So, uh, what brings you 'round, Elaine?" A more honest question as Quinn turns and bends back down, feeling around for her sunglasses.

Did she say it was cheating once? It was so long ago. And Adel's opinion has changed about certain things since then, so she makes with a shruggy shoulder. They were already cheating, so why not cheat somemore. The songs are hers now? She nods in a quiet agreement. Hers, Lene's and whoever else came from her time. "Then I guess I'll share them, since I want to." But not right now.

Later. Right now… Quinn looks a little different, too. Preoccupied. "I take it the Ark raid didn't exactly go well?" she asks, looking back at Elaine, wondering how much her mom knew about the two pronged assualt on the 8th of November. Elaine had begged her not to go on the first Alaska raid in the future. She'd listened. This time…

She didn't exactly ask permission.

Now it feels like Quinn is acting a little strange too. Elaine is surrounded by women who aren't saying something. Clearing her throat, she looks to Quinn first to answer her question. "Only here for a short visit, here to see Barbara… well, she asked to see me which only means one of two things: translation or codes. I didn't really ask which, I just kinda came. Really, it was nice to have something to do." Something other than classes or baking.

She wets her lips, clears her throat, then starts. "Let's stop being awkward because I am starting to feel like there's an elephant in the room and we're all looking at different elephants. So who wants to start? I don't have an elephant, you all just heard my exciting news, so who's next?"

"As far as I can remember it went…" Quinn's hands brush over her sunglasses and she snaps the up and on to her face, finally opening her eyes and looking around. Her bright, glistening gray guitar sits within arm's reach, so she takes it by the neck and hefts it up with her when she finally stands up again.

She turns, looking back at both of them. Elaine's hair is a nuetral gray, Adel's dark, but not quite back. Her expression thins as she quickly looks away from the other two, a hand reaching up to scratch at the back of her head, towards the colourless forest that rests around much of the island. "Well, we got out," is what Quinn offers to finish her sentence.

Stepping back over the crumbled brick wall, she sits down on it with a sigh. "It was a disaster," she finally admits. "I mean, we- I guess you could say we won, but." Lips quirk side to side. "I don't remember most of it. I was teamed with Eve Mas for a bit, an' then… leaving. With Else, Doyle, Avi, Lynette, those Fournier kids, thier mom, I think? Oh, Raith, uh-" she stops there, shaking her head. "I figure half a' us made it out."

She rolls her shoulders, deciding to leave out the exact details since that would mean reliving them herself. "Some others filtered back here afterwards. Saw Ygraine the other day, an' GIllian an' Jolene made it back, I hear." She looks and up more directly at them, swallowing loudly. "Didn't get outta it unscathed," she finally says after a moment. She doesn't want to talk about this, not right now, but she figures they're going to badger one way or another.

"I dunno what I was like in your time, Adel. At least one a' the dreams I had was entirely in black in white." One hand reaches up, taking her sunglasses off. "Whole world's kinda like that now." She opens her eyes, grey, dull, clouded eyes staring back at the other two women, and immediately Quinn rises a hand over her brow to shield herself from the overwhelming light.

Oh.

"Does this mean you did lasers?" Adel responds with an excited smile on her lips even though, well, there's actual bad things to go with this. But the Quinn she knew already had all this stuff going on, or at least enough that it doesn't really seem to shock her. She never even thought about how painful it must have been for her when it first happened. Now she might actually understand— somewhat. "I'm glad you made it." Color blind is better than the alternative. And she knows too well what the alternative is.

She looks towards her Elaine, hesitating. She doesn't quite know how to start with what's going on in Adel-land… except…

"I don't have my power anymore. It got taken away." That might explain some of the jumpiness, but there seems to be more, from the way she's chewing on her lip and looking at them with eyes that want to water.

"Well shit." Elaine blurts out as her first reaction. She's not entirely sure what else could be said. She covers her mouth immediately after, searching for words that could be comforting and make her look like much less of an uncompassionate dickhead. She looks Quinn over carefully.

"… how much can you see? Is it just colors or…" She pauses, taking a few steps closer to Quinn. "If you want to answer, that is. If you want us to drop it, that's fine. We're just glad you made it out okay."

Her attention turns to Adel next after a confession is made. "You lost your ability but you're alright as well, looks like." There's a pause. "But you're not alright, are you?" There's more there, Elaine can tell, but she's not sure what to do.

So she just hugs Adel.

"I dunno," is the honest answer from Quinn, who shrugs. "Lasers, maybe. I always remember what Colette said about when she did 'em." She looks over at Adel, her face paling a bit when she hears the younger woman. So, she rises up from where she sits, and she does the same thing Elaine does.

She hugs her.

"I can't do mine anymore either," she says quietly, arms wrapping around both women. "I dunno if it's gone or what, but I guess- I'm normal. F'r now." She takes a deep breath, looking up at Elaine as she leans against Adel. "Achromatopsia," she says quietly. "When Colette an' I first realised this could happen, I did some research. Total colour blindness, light sensativity… I'm not totally blind, but most a' the way there."

Which would explain the sunglasses.

"I'm sorry, Adel," she says quietly, and for the first time in half a month, she completely forgets about her own problems.

The hug is welcome. But Adel shakes her head. She doesn't believe that her third mom's power is gone. "Yours will come back, probably. You just burnt out." Colette had always told her what could happen, that burnout was a possibility. But this was different than burn out and she knew it. She even got tested on the way in fron Alaska. She doesn't even read as Evolved anymore. Whatever it was that made her different was just… gone.

Disappeared.

"It's not primal. But I'm alive." The way she says that seems a preface to something, when she looks toward Quinn. The ark raid lost people… "We lost people in Alaska, too…" she looks down, rubbing her face with her hands. "The future bad guy— the future Cardinal. He said something, did something to— to dad. His power went out of control and… he's gone."

People were lost. Elaine doesn't know the details of either mission and from the sounds of it, she doesn't want to. They sound more like clusterfucks than stories you recount to someone you care about after a war. "Maybe Adel's right, maybe your ability will come back. Maybe you just need to heal a little. Maybe there's some kind of surgery we can do—oh! I've heard of sunglasses you can get for people who are colorblind that allow them to see colors again, maybe we can get some for you… they're expensive though."

Her rambling would continue except Adel has said something very much of note. Her head quirks to the side, clearly not computing. "Magnes is gone? Gone where?" The gears slowly turn. "Gone as in—no, he couldn't…" Magnes Varlane was too crazy to get himself literally killed. He could trip his way into and out of danger. So for him to just be gone via some snafu with his power seemed completely out of the realm of possibility.

Maybe she needs some time to let it sink in.

Quinn just offers a smile to both of them. To her, it doesn't feel like burn our, like it's temporary. She feels like her connection to "the light" has been severed. But, they were right. Time will tell on that. Megan had said it could be months, or years, before she's in a better physical state.

So, the mention of glasses and surgery, is simply met with a weak smile - she has neither the time, the energy, nor - most importantly - the money to indulge such idea. Not with what happened to Studio K. But thoughts of how she's going to have to track down Lydia and maybe ask for her job at Ichihara back - if she even stays in town - are quelled as Adel speaks up again.

And she just kind of stares. She takes a moment to place her sunglasses back on her face so that she regard both of them with the wide eyes that news like this deserves. "Gone?" she says, disbeliving. "M-Magnes Varlane?" She didn't know many details of the Alaska mission. It had been a little high concept for her. The Arc had been simple - get in, save people, get out. It had seemed more her speed.

There's a strange kind of laugh that escapes from Quinn. The disbelieving, nervous kind, almost. "Come on. Magnes? N-no way." She falls silent after that, looking towards Elaine for a moment before closes her eyes. Unlike the other woman, she doesn't need time. Not after what she saw in that drainage ditch. The possibility that one of her best friends was dead seemed all too real.

"Oh God," she chokes out after a moment, burying her head against Adel.

"Just… gone. But he was crushing everything with his gravity and— then he just vanished, like…" Like the gravity crushed him. Adel doesn't want to think too much about it, leaves out how he asked her to kill him, even. She hadn't even considered it. She only did afterward, when she realized how terrible it must have been for him— how… Now that her mothers are here, two of them, she finally closes her eyes and allows herself to cry in front of someone. She'd held it back in Alaska, she'd held it back on the way here— even during her panic attacks that hit when she awoke, unable to protect herself.

She felt naked without her power.

And empty without that strange shining light of a dad who she grew up hearing stories about, but never thought she would meet. Never would have, if she hadn't come back.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't save him," she whispers, as if it were her fault, or as if she just— so sorry. That they have to go through this again.

Elaine's arms tighten around Adel. She's going to hug the woman like her life depended on it, not just for her daughter from a future that likely no longer existed, but for herself because Magnes meant something. He meant something that she couldn't put into words. But she was going to try. Words were her thing.

"You don't have to be sorry, Adel, it sounds like it was a situation that was out of your control. He just… disappeared?" Well that sounded less messy than it could have been. "I mean, it's not like he could come back, right?" If anyone was going to pop back from death, it'd be fucking Magnes. "I don't think I want to know the answer to that, I just want to think he was heroic and that was that." She pauses. "And when the dust settles, someone needs to make him into a comic book character. Just like, one issue, I just think he'd like that."

Quinn doesn't have any words for this. When Adel starts crying, she doesn't hold back either. She hasn't cried since the 10th, back when she woke up and when she talked to Rue. This, though. This is something she can't hold back. She still remembers the dream she had, the one she now figures she was shown, of when Magnes had sacrified himself to save her, Sable, and Lance.

It feels the same now.

So, she just lets it out. Her tears are for more than just this, but this… this is devestating. A hand reaches up to Elaine, finding the other woman's cheek as she leans her own against Adel. It was too much. All of this, it was too, too much.

"Ha— a comic book," Adel responds to that thought with a surprised laugh. She suddenly wishes she knew how to draw, but drawing hadn't really been one of the many things she practiced. But she's sure they could find someone, pitch the story idea and immortalize her father in a way he would appreciate. Somewhere. Somehow. She doesn't try to stop crying once she's started, though, because— she has her mom now. Moms. Enough of them.

"You used to tell me stories about him, sometimes. I didn't think they were real at first. That you made them up." And then she met him. And he seemed capable of making impossible things happen. Of being that crazy. Hugging her face into Elaine's shoulder, her hand grasping Quinn's shirt. "We still have each other…" And they can make sure he lives on in some way— in story, in song, in, well.

Her.

She never did tell them that she had chosen the name Lane as her last name in this time after her dad.

Nope, she's not going to cry. Both the women in her arms are crying, she's not going to cry, she's not going to—dammit, now she's crying. Elaine does her best to keep a good, tight embrace on both Adel and Quinn while scrubbing a hand over her face. She's ugly crying.

After a moment to compose herself, she looks towards Adel again. "I have a lot of good memories of Magnes. A lot of really scared ones too. He did a lot of dangerous things so I knew one day I'd have this conversation with someone. I guess I thought I'd be much older and that he'd have more time with all of us." There's a small smile from Elaine at Adel's words.

"Yeah, we have each other. That I'm grateful for. I'm grateful we're all here and not dead, even if we might be changed." The last part was mostly for Quinn's injury, but it was for Adel too. You don't walk away from such circumstances unchanged.

There's a slight bitterness that sometimes resides in the back of Quinn's mind lately, and it perks up when Elaine speaks again. It is pushed back though, Quinn only really able to muster a nod in response. She manages, after a few more moments, to temper her crying. No more choked out sobs like have become so familiar to her. Just… sniffles.

"I'll miss 'im," she finally says. "God, he was such an ass an' I love 'im so much," she remarks with just a small chuckle. It's no secret that Robyn Quinn and Margnes Varlane fought a lot, about one thing or another. She still hasn't pieced together what Jolene was getting at the time she told her her mom had a friend like Magnes, and after he was gone she missed him all the time. She feels it now, though. "I- j-just…." She swallows again, just letting out a sigh. "I wish I'd gotten t' see him bnefore he left."

"I'm glad I met him," Adel adds quietly, as she grasps onto them both. She too, wishes that they could have seen him. "We took down a robot together, before…" Before it happened. Well, them and everyone else on their team, but it had been the first time she'd gotten to fight with her father— the first, the last.

And now she didn't know if she could ever fight again.

She would have to relearn, figure it out. If Noa could do it, if Ingrid could do it— if they could learn to fight without combat powers, then so could she—

She just didn't know if she was ready for that yet. "Maybe I can go back with you, mom. When you leave. Stay with you for a while."
She suddenly wanted to be with her mom for a while.

"At least Magnes got to be a hero…" Elaine says while still lamenting the fact that they didn't get to see him one last time. "Which is why he needs a comic book. When I met him, I remember he just swooped down and saved me from a bunch of robbers in a snowstorm. It was weird and kind of cool and it changed my life." She squeezes the both of them tightly before letting up a bit.

"Yeah, you can come back with me, plenty of room at our place and I'd enjoy the company. Been just me and 'Inger since Robyn's been on the island. Only here for the day though, just enough time to do some work for Barbara and pop back. I don't want to be in the way."

"He pulled me out a' snow drift I fell waist high int'." It was also when Magnes invited her to come audition for the band that would change her life. Quinn knew she and Elaine had met Magnes around the same time, but she wasn't sure she'd ever realised just how close together it had been. In another time, that might have amused her a lot more than it does now.

Elaine lets up, but Quinn doesn't, arms still around Adel. She has a bit more to work out, it seems. "I can't go back yet," Quinn says quietly. "Soon. A few days. But- I promised I'd stay her, for observation an' t' see if I can help." She looks up at Elaine, opening her mouth for a moment, wanting to tell her what she'd like to do when she gets back.

She stops. Now's not the time for that.

"But yeah, Adel. You can stay at our place. We don't ever use the second bedroom for anythin'. That can be yours."

"You'll have your room when you can come join us, ma," Adel responds to one of her many moms. Quinn may not be able to come yet, but there'd be room for her when she does. "Just don't worry too much about your ability. I really do think it will come back." It had come back in her future, though she doesn't know exactly how she got overloaded. It had come back. And she had seen her mothers fight along side each other to protect them. Her. Lene. Howard. All of them.

"Thank you." For being here, for being them. For letting her cry.

"It does feel like he left a big hole." And she didn't know if anyone would ever fill it the same way again.

"You falling into a snow drift sounds about right," Elaine mutters, slowly grinning. "But all that matters is that you do come back, could be a week, could be a month. Just stay safe, Robyn, I know things are crazy lately. I'll stay safe too. And I'll keep Adel safe."

The redhead looks towards her daughter, offering her a warm smile. "No need for thanks… but you're right. He left quite a hole… probably because he was an extrodinary person. I'm sure we could wax poetic all night about him if given the chance."

Quinn purses her lips, finally releasing Adel and letting out a long shrug. "It won't be same without him." She chooses not to voice we'll need a new bassist, as much as it might offer a humourous moment. Which, oh God, she doesn't look forward to when one of them has to tell Sable, where ever the hell she may be right now.

She steps away from them, towards her guitar, and sits back down on the crumpled wall. "Who gets to tell Sable," she asks, passing the buck on that one. "I had a dream once. Dunno if anyone else remembers it, but it was me, Sable, an' Elaine, writin' a song for him. Wrote it down soon as I woke up."

"I know that song," Adel responds with a sad smile, even humming the first few cords of it under her breath. It was one of the first songs she learned how to play. On guitar, on drums, on bass— she covered all the bases of the band at one point or another, wanting to learn everything they could teach her. But she never did get the hang of singing. Which was fine, cause they all had lovely voices.

"Maybe we can write a second one for him, too." All of them, together. "I've never actually written my own song before, but I think I could do it." Now.

"I think he'd like the idea of having two songs written for him. And a comic book." Elaine is really fixated on this comic book idea. There's a deep sigh, then she raises her hand. "Sable. I'll tell Sable. She'd probably take it best coming from me, I think, even if—"

Even if there was still some uneasiness between them? She shakes her head. "She's not gonna take it well. She'll either explode or implode. I hope she does neither but she's a creature of passion." She scrubs her face a bit, trying to wipe away what's left of her tears.

Quinn raises both arms up, sweeping them out in front of her. "The Magnes J. Varlane Memorial Project. A concept EP and a comic book that tells the story. Like Coheed an' Cambria, but with less metaphor." A grin forms across her lip. "I like the sound a' that," she says quietly, letting her hands fold into her lap. "He'd love it."

Sable— Adel didn't actually want to be the one to tell her, cause she was afraid she would see the one thing she'd avoided her whole life. Seeing her really cry. Not the 'we just made a beautiful song' tears, but— yeah. It wasn't something she wanted to see. "He'll like all of those. So we better do it. And do it right."

And she will make it happen. "It was beautiful. The last thing I saw of him. It was this beautiful pulse of light that…" she's not even sure she can find the words. She'll just have to figure out a way to put it into song.

Cause he deserves a song written about him in every future.


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