Participants:
| Scene Title | Accidents Happen |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | Bella meets with Candy off the clock and ends up acting rather forward and very strange. Tension mounts, confessions are made, and the meeting ends with an ambiguous smile. |
| Date | November 8, 2009 |
Uptown Bar
Bella's dressed awfully formally for a bar, even if this bar is pretty nice, like a upscale sports bar without the sports, drinks just a touch too expensive; the people who drink here only ever have one drink, or have enough cash not to mind blowing upwards of fifty bucks getting hammered. Still, her suit isn't cute; it's rather modest, with muted grey colors over a plain white shirt. Her hair is down, though, red curling over her shoulders as she stands by the bar, waving off the bartender who keeps trying to ask what her order is. Later, she tells him, she's waiting for someone. And she is.
Candy slips into the bar, her eyes looking around the place for the person she was supposed to be meeting her. As her eyes fall on Bella, she smiles lightly and begins to move towards the bar to go to her. "Hey," she greets with a quiet smile.
Bella also smiles, looking almost relieved, like maybe she was worried Candy wouldn't show. Getting stood up isn't fun, even when it's for a psychiatric session. The atmosphere here certainly isn't like Bella's office however. The soft chatter of discussion and the clink of glasses creates a less pregnant sort of privacy. Less confessional, more confidential. "Thanks for coming. Mind if we make this mostly off the record, off the clock? Honest to god, I need to blow off some steam," she thumbs at the tender, who swoops in, "Buy you a drink?"
Candy grins lightly, before she shakes head a little and says, "No, thank you. I'm fine. Little too early in the day for me to start drinking." She smiles a bit before adding, "And I don't mind if you want to do this off the record. You're the one who called me, to begin with."
Bella arches a brow, "I'm going to order you a virgin daquiri," she says, "Just so I don't feel like I'm the only one drinking." She turns to the bartender and orders herself a mojito, as well as a virgin strawberry daquiri. She turns back to Candy as she waits for their drinks, "I basically wanted to find out how you're adapting, check in on your situation. Also get to know you in a less 'trying to pry open the top of your head' sort of way. I… well, I get the feeling we got off a bit on the wrong foot, and I'd rather have a smooth working relationship."
Candy looks at Bella before she says, "Well, I thought we got off swimmingly." She grins before saying, "As for adapting… well… I'm staying out of trouble. So I suppose I'm doing well enough in that regard." The young sociopath smiles while she stands there and waits on the drink to come in.
The drinks arrive and Bella offers the pink, froofy drink up to Candy. "At least pretend to drink it," she insists, handing the ostentatious, swoop glassed daquiri off before turning with her own mintacular potable and heading towards a corner table, away from the front of the establishment. She scoots into a booth, and ushers Candy closer. There's something a little impatient about her affect, maybe even slightly agitated.
Candy gets a hint of the agitation and raises an eyebrow while she slides into the booth. Once seated she asks, "Is there something wrong?" Her eyebrows knitting together while she takes a sip from the daquiri that is given to her.
Bella gives Candy a wry smile, "How sweet of you to ask," she says, stirring her mojito and then sipping through the straw. She catches a bit of mint between her incisors and carefully extracts it with her pinky nail, "Sorry about that. Ahem. I'm fine, really. I can walk without assistance, so that's a plus." She is sans-cane, that's for sure, though she still has a slight limp that she's pointedly hiding, "Is trouble something you find yourself often getting into, usually? Is it an effort to stay out of trouble for you?"
Candy hmms a moment or two before she says, "No, trouble just has a funny way of coming to me. My entire life its been one thing after another. Well, except for the one incident. That was me trying to 'cause trouble, and yeah, it pretty well blew up in my face."
Bella has to restrain the urge to ask Candy to go into this, but that's not where she's headed right now. Instead she just makes the conversational gesture. "I'll admit, I'm curious. Intrigued, even. I've had a pretty hum drum life. But trouble is likely less exciting when you're dealing with it." The way she looks at Candy is a pretty obvious prompt for the other woman to confirm or deny. It's not a look of clinical interest, though. Her affect is very personal.
Candy shrugs her shoulders before she replies, "Trouble can be… very very stressful when it is happening around you. So much, that… you kinda wonder what to do next when its done and over with."
This causes Bella to smile, biting the mojito's straw slightly after taking another long drink. "You're so occupied by your trouble that, once it's over, you feel understimulated?
Candy grins a little and nods her head, "Yeah. Kinda like that. Everything else just seems so dull, and every day."
Bella's eyes narrow. Her mojito's only about one third of the way done, but she already looks like she's feeling just a bit of the effects. "That's fascinating, really," she says, "I have a hard time not romanticizing that, you know? Put like that… it sounds exciting. /You/ sound exciting. But I'm probably just projecting. It's a very different thing in your shoes, I'll bet." Again, that look, the tacit prompt for more.
Candy shrugs her shoulders a little and says, "Depends on if you like living every day because it very well could be your last. Or living every day like its your last because its not going to be. If that makes sense…"
"I… think so?" Bella says, "Go on, though," she grins, "I'm an eager listener."
Candy smiles lightly and replies, "I think its a prerequisite for being a psychologist." She winks at the woman before she says, "I mean, for months every day I woke up, I didn't know if it would be the last time that I woke up ever or not."
Bella's eyes make a quick dodge to the right at the wink, and she occupies herself with another sip as Candy continues, but for that moment there was that clear, seemingly automatic response, a kind of awkwardness, though not necessarily unpleasant. "I can't even imagine. I mean… maybe just barely. Heck, maybe it's that post-danger feeling I'm feeling now. I just didn't know how to describe it," she pauses for a moment, "Sure you don't want a drink?"
Candy seems to be a little taken a back by the wink, but she recovers a little. The woman not really knowing what to make of it. "I don't know. Things just don't seem to have the edge that they used to it. Its dull and unexciting."
Bella nods emphatically, "Like everything's filtered through a grainy lens," she says, tone all agreement, "God. What do you do to manage that feeling? Have you found any way to compensate? Find something that gives life just a little more color?"
Candy shakes her head a little before she replies, "Nope, can't say that I have. I just sit and wait to see what the next big problem is going to be."
Bella wrinkles her nose, "You must horrifically /bored/ then," she says, "And, as your therapist, I consider that a problem worth tackling."
Candy grins and shrugs her shoulders a bit, "I'm bored, but I'm fairly confidant that the boredom will end shortly… so."
Bella tilts her head, "Where does that confidence come from?
Candy gives the psychologist a level stare before she syas, "You have been watching the news lately, right? Its one thing, right after another, right after another."
"So you're waiting for a disaster big enough to entertain you?" Bella says, brows lifting, meeting Candy's gaze head on, one hand very slowly stirring what's left of her drink.
Candy shakes her head a little and says, "I'm waiting for something to happen that will inevitable involve me somehow."
"And you think it will? You really mean 'inevitable'?" Bella says. She's looking at Candy with fixed interest, quite unlike the somewhat distant interest she held during their session in the office.
Candy looks at Bella abd replies, "Yes, I mean inevitable. Some how or another something will find its way to try and get to me. Probably something that I'm connected to because of this and that." She shrugs her shoulders.
Maybe it is the drink she's just finished talking, but Bella sounds entirely serious, almost thoughtful, "There's something… rather beautiful in your certainty."
Candy raises an eyebrow, "Beautiful? I'd call it grim. Knowing that the chances of you reaching a ripe old age or slim to nil."
Bella's reaction is a little weird. She averts her eyes again, and her embarrassment makes her blush, "Sorry," she says, "I said it was hard for me not to romanticize it. I'm… well…" her eyes dart back to Candy, then away again, "The way you think about it, the way you handle it. I guess I'm just… really impressed. If that make sense." Her eyes steal back again, searching Candy for a response.
Candy smiles lightly as she watches the psychologist for a couple of moments, before she finally says, in a quiet voice, "After Moab, you just become thankful that you are outside. No matter the circumstances around it."
Bella nods slowly. "I know it must sound strange," she says. Her foot, in its low heeled shoe, slips forward to bump its tip very lightly just left of the tip of Candy's own shoe, "But I find that mentality quite remarkable."
"Take someone, toss them into a whole for a while and torture them. See what comes out. I garauntee you at least half of them will come out like me. Knowing that the end is near, but rushing headlong to meet it. Because maybe, just maybe, we might be able to finally quit remembering what happened to us in there," Candy replies, no smile on her lips, and her eyes just stare at you, or through you.
Okay, /that's/ grim. Bella stares back, though certainly not through, Candy, her lips tugging down at the corners. "I'm so sorry…" she says, softly, "I want to be able to do something for you," her eyes slip down, to the table, "But my reasons feel selfish in the face of what you really experienced."
Her foot slips the barest fraction of an inch back, but doesn't leave.
Candy looks at you for a couple of moments, before she shrugs her shoulders a little and lays it on the table, "As much as you want to do something about that. There isn't anything that you can do. You can't make me forget it, you can't help me to get over it, or heal from it. Its a demon that I've got to face down one day."
"It's very, very hard for me to let myself believe that, Candy," Bella says, a frown just barely creasing her brow, "I'm not sure why, though."
Candy shrugs her shoulders lightly and replies, "Trust me. There isn't a soul in the world who can help me with any of the issues that I have, other then myself."
Bella bites her lower lip, near the corner, "I want to help somehow. Just… with something."
Candy nudges your shoe with hers for a moment or two before she replies, "Well, what something do you want to help with?"
Bella's foot replies to the nudge by slipping a little further towards Candy, meeting instep with instep, "Maybe just making the wait a little less colorless, a little less dull."
Candy looks at Bella, and she smiles a little before she says softly, "Loving me, will really only led you to getting hurt, Bella."
Bella flushes very obviously, and Candy can feel her leg tense through the tiny point of contact. "I… don't know what to say…" she stammers, "I thought… I mean, I only meant…" she trails off. Slowly, her hand slides across the table towards Candy. "I just want to help. Like I said…"
Candy smiles lightly, and doesn't move away from the hand, but she doesn't move towards it either. "I understand, Bella. Really, I do. But, I…" She pauses for a moment, before she finally says, "Ever since Moab, I haven't been able to feel anything. For anything to make any kind of lasting impression on me. I have to remember what it felt like, remember what other times felt like." She looks down for a moment before she finally looks back up at Bella, "I don't even feel anything when I kill someone. Evolved… non-evolved. Nothing, I had to /make/ myself feel guilty, about the evolved that I tortured. Do you understand? There is something wrong with me, and I can't fix it. All I want to do is get revenge on those who did this to me. To kill anyone who would try and put chains around the evolved." She smiles ruefully while she looks at Bella, before she finally says, "Guess this means you should change your psych report." With that, she starts to stand up, as if she's leaving.
Bella is held in her seat by some increase of gravity for a solid three seconds, then she gets up quickly. This, it turns out, is a mistake. Her leg is much better, but it's still not /good/. Her face twists in pain and her leg crumples, sending her to the floor. To any other observer, it just looks like maybe Bella's had a few too many, with her hand reaching out to try and grasp hold of something as her eyes screw up in pain. "Shit shit /shit/!" she hisses. If she was going to make some sort of grand gesture to stop Candy, it's prevented by this collapse. Best laid plans, right?
Candy reaches forward to help steady the other woman, and keep her from falling over. "Careful now," she says while she stands there, something of a compassionate look in her eyes while she tries to steady her. "Maybe you shouldn't have gone without your can."
Bella clings to Candy as she regains her footing, her wounded leg shaking visibly, obviously complaining about her misuse of it. The psychiatrist's whole body trembles a bit. "Jesus…" she groans, "Yes. Yes… lesson learned." She looks over at Candy. Was that, in fact, compassion that she saw there? Her eyes quickly avert, and she reaches out for the top of a chair, trying to allow Candy to let go of her as soon as she cares to. She looks further embarrassed, ashamed.
Candy looks at Bella before she says, "Do you have a spare cane that you brought that I can get you." She smiles lightly, before she adds, "Or I can help you out."
"No, I was an idiot," Bella mutters, "Which is about par for the course at this point." She has a grip on the back of a chair, but she isn't getting anywhere like that, "Would you… mind helping me?" A bashful smile, "Something of a reversal, huh?"
"Just be glad that you have something that can be helped with," Candy replies with a wane smile, before she offers a hand. "Come on then, lets get you out there. Did you drive or ride a taxi?"
"Taxi," Bella says, "I don't own a car. Shit… I…" she looks horrifically embarrassed now, "I'm going to need help up to my apartment. I swear to /God/ that's all, really. I just… I'd feel much more comfortable with your support than the doorman's. His eyes have a magnetic attraction to low necks and high skirt hems, if you get my meaning."
Candy smiles lightly before she says, "Sure, I can help you up your apartment." She smiles lightly beofre she says, "Though, how do I know its nothing but a trick to get me in your apartment." She winks and even manages a giggle, letting the other woman know she is merely joking as she helps her out the bar.
Put out in the open like this, it's much easier to laugh about. So Bella does, using Candy's help as much as she needs it to exit onto the street. "Only one way to find out," she quips, "I hope you're curious."
"Me too," returns Candy while she moves towards the street, flagging a cab. When it arrives, she helps Bella get in first, before sliding in next.
Bella keeps an appropriate distance from Candy in the cab, telling the driver where she lives, casting just a quick look in Candy's direction, realizing that this has cost her her home address to a self-described sociopath. Professional hazard, she guesses. She gives Candy a small smile, then look out the window as the city blocks roll by and they head for Bella's apartment, which is nearby.
Candy smiles back lightly, before her eyes go back out the window and she merely watches. Wondering what this admittance has cost her.
The taxi pulls up outside a modestly nice apartment building, and Bella opens the door, turning herself towards the curb, then waiting for Candy. "So sorry…" she says, quietly, as she awaits the other woman's assistance.
"Its alright," Candy says, paying the Cab's fare, and then going around to help Bella out. "The least I can do for someone who boguht me a drink," she says with a smile.
Bella forsakes dignity, relying on Candy's support and guidance entirely as much as is required, an arm wrapped firmly around the other woman. The presumably lecherous doorman greets the pair without a raised eyebrow as they pass and move over to the elevator. Bella extends a finger and presses the 'up' button. "Almost there," she says, her smile rueful, "Soon I'll be able to take a cold shower and just /wash/ the embarrassment of this evening clean off of me."
Candy shrugs her shoulders a little and replies, "I wouldn't call it an embarrassment. Accidents happen." She smiles lightly, beofre the elevator dings open, and Candy begins to help the other woman towards her door.
Bella jabs the '5' button and the doors slide closed, placing the pair in the close confines of the elevator. Bella chooses now to grip the inner railing and ease up off of Candy. "That's sweet of you to say, but I don't just mean the fall," she says, now with a touch of grimness. There is the momentary lurch of the elevator sliding up the shaft.
"Well," is all Candy can say as she looks down, unsure of what to say next, and just knowing that its because of all her problems.
Bella catches Candy's look down, and as the elevator reaches the fifth floor, Bella slides her arm around Candy, setting her other hand on Candy's arm. She smiles softly, "You are still the most gallant date I've had in a very long time," she says, with gentle humor, "Walk me the rest of the way? I'm in 505."
Candy smiles lightly and replies, "Its a date now?" She grins a little, maybe finding a bit of humor in it before she says, "I've got no problem taking you the little bit of the rest of the way."
It's a very little bit indeed. The door marked 505 is only halfway down the hall. Bella fumbles for her keys, finally finding them and unlocking the door. She slides free of Candy, bracing herself in the doorway and turning to face the other woman. Her lips quirk to one side. "Thank you. Very, very much," a pause, "For someone who feels so little you are very kind, and very good," she wrinkles her nose, "Which is sort of cruel in its own way, since you're hardly making it easier on me."
Candy smiles lightly and replies softly, "I already figure there isn't a chance with us anymore, now that you know. So, why don't you have a nice day, and rewrite my psych evaulation. Being kind, also has nothing to do with feeling. I don't need to feel to try and make you feel better, or to recognize that you don't like being in pain, and you having to get here by yourself would only be painful."
Being kind has nothing to do with feeling. These are a handful of words Bella has repeated to herself any number of times, but never said aloud, since the illusion of feeling is so valuable to her. There is a flicker of something when Candy says this. Pain? Regret? Hurt? Not any of these things, not really, but something else akin to them. But it's gone as soon as it's come. The psychiatrist looks at Candy for a long moment, then leans forward to kiss her very lightly on the cheek. "I'm pathologically hopeful," she says, upon leaning back into the doorframe, "Put that in my psychiatric evaluation."
Candy smiles lightly and nods her head a little. "Well, Bella… have a good life." She smiles a little, before she turns around to head back down the hallway.
Bella leans around the edge of her door to watch Candy go. A small smile curls her lips, a satisfied look. Strange on someone who's just been rejected. She recedes into her apartment, smile still in place.