Dirk Dickson

Chesterfield Act Registry of the Non-Expressive Database

File #14 Feb 2018 15:45

Summary

Name Dirk Dickson Aliases Status Registered Non-Expressive (Class N Non) Gender Male Birthdate October 16, 1975 Age 45 Height 5'7" Build Dainty Eyes Blue Hair Greying blond Residence An apartment in Bay Ridge — with a roommate Employment SESA Parents Unknown Siblings Unknown Marital Status Terminally Single Children What happens in Thailand stays in Thailand. First Scene Yamagato Matsuri -- Opening Ceremony Last Scene Profile

portrayed by David Spade

Background

After the shut down of Studio K, Dirk took his severance package and scooted off to southeast Asia for what was meant to be a winter of fun and frolicking. What happened there was a combination of “oh my god” and “what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.” While he was gone, civil war broke out in the United States and whether it was a weird loyalty to his former employer or some unknown opportunity, Dirk started making his way back to U.S. soil. A year and a half later, Dirk finally crossed the border into Texas through a ravine. There, he was taken prisoner by some misguided locals who thought he was trying to skip away from his duties to President Mitchell and the right side. His wit and skills with a computer won him a position in that town as a personal assistant to the mayor, which he used to his full advantage. Working on the President Mitchell side of the war gave him a bit of a twinge of regret, but he was alive and getting paid to do almost nothing, which in Dirk’s books is alright.

After the civil war ended, the residents of the little town in Texas were not happy with the regime change. It was about this time that Dirk decided to slip away in the night, rather than becoming one of the sovereign citizens of ‘Free Texas’. Also, he’d had about enough and it was long past time to go home. So, he ventured out onto the road again, his travels taking him through lovely places like Oklahoma, Missouri, Indiana, Kentucky… all the great states where people like Dirk do so well in. Not so much. Trouble followed him everywhere and he continuously found himself hooked in with the wrong types of people. Perhaps it was his personality, or maybe it was just his luck. Each time, he narrowly avoided being caught by Praeger’s side, the side he always meant to be a part of but fate always had a habit of working against him.

Finally back in New York, Dirk managed to stay away from the trials. Former residents of ‘Free Texas’ were, apparently, not high up on the radar for the new president’s men. All of this suited Dirk just fine.

Psych Profile

Dirk is a sensitive soul who hides it behind a mask of rudeness and vile behavior. First impressions of him are rarely good ones, because of his off putting attitude and judgmental quips. He’s quick witted and is rarely caught without some sort of comeback. For his friends and those who have earned it (by way of employment), he will do practically anything for. He won’t go so far as to take a bullet or even worse - change a diaper, but he will walk a dog in the rain or pick up some pho for a sick friend. He cares but he doesn’t like to show it. Dirk has no aspirations toward greatness, he likes being comfortable and just comfortable. Having a lot of money and power is just too much responsibility and he’s not into that. He can barely take care of a cactus. He is afraid of success, not because of the responsibility that it requires but because if he’s too good, people will expect him to be too good all the time. So, he rides the line of mediocrity until it’s time to shine and then he goes off like a firework. He sparkles just long enough to get the oohs and aahs, then he fades back to his old patterns.

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