What was my childhood like? Why should I tell you? It’s none of your damn business. All you need to know is that I had a good childhood. We lived really well, since dad was a politician. So I grew up not really knowing how good I had it. I was fucking spoiled.
You know I have a twin brother? We were thick as thieves. Don’t ask me where he is now, it's been a few years, not since… *clears throat* Know what? That ain’t important right now. We’ll get around to that.
Anyhow, I had it good, until all those evo people started messing the world up. My parents were never the same after Midtown went poof. Both of them lost parents, family, and friends there. It made them so damn angry at anyone that wasn’t like us. You know ‘normal’. I was like… I dunno five… six years old? I didn’t quite understand all of what was happenin’ around me. It was confusing, you know? Kinda scary. Especially, when kids started disappearin’ from my classes. My best friend Becca did. .
Then things got weirder.
My parents started having all these people over… lots of them. I remember them all talking loudly in the living room or our parents would go off on important business and leave us with a babysitter. They made a lot of new friends with folks that lost people in Midtown, told us it was a grief group. But, they were just all so angry. Me and my brother, we were not allowed to be there. We were always bundled off to bed before the real talk started. But, even when I snuck out and listened, I never really understood what I was hearin’. Talks about killin’ the evos to protect what was left of their families… or for revenge. They kept going on about how they were not human. Pretty sure Bucky was human. Or Marie. I miss her, we used to play together and then… it just stopped.
When I was… mmm… I think ten? The world really went to shit. Nothin’ like going from a posh life to bein’ on the run all the time. I still remember the night this guy showed up and told my parents we had to run. We went from never worrying about nothing to wonderin’ where that next meal was gonna come from and having to work for it. There was a group of people we ran with, our parents said this was our family now. These people helped my brother and I learn how to survive. Taught us to hunt and fend for ourselves.
We’d often be left with near strangers while our parents disappear on some sorta ‘mission.’ Really missed them when the fighting would start nearby or bombs started exploding. A few times they would even come back hurt. We’d beg them not to go back out, but they’d tell us they was tryin’ to make us a better, safer world.
What the hell, right? What use is a safer world if they were gone? Parents are real dumbshits sometimes.
I did get my eyes opened to what was really happening’ with my parents. I mean… I always wondered and well, started suspecting. Something changed in my parents, they seemed to get more desperate, especially after the base we were staying at got destroyed by some sort of explodin’ man. We barely got out, some of my friends didn’t… I.. uh.. *deep breath* Anyhow, everyone was on edge. Scared. But it wasn’t until a group of those evo folks stumbled in on the camp that I really realized what my daddy meant when he said that we were at war. I finally realized the depths that they had fallen.
It was just a family, just trying to get safe. Going to Canada they said. There was a kid my age and one much younger. All I know was, they didn’t look like they could harm a fly. They were all scared and hungry. They looked as scared of us as we were of them, even huddled and clung together as they were surrounded.
Unfortunately, they had the misfortune of finding us and were captured. The man struggled and was shot for it… but they were tested… They always tested, but this time… they were all Evos. The whole family.
While my mom and dad were dragging them out of the tent, others hustled me, my brother, and the other kids off to somewhere safe. They didn’t think we were ready to see the truth. I found a peephole in the side of the tent. My brother told me not to look, tried to pull me away, but I couldn’t help it.
I-I-I… I don’t want to talk about it. What happened, but… but I’ll never forget that little kid looked right at me when…. when…. Or how the mom begged for… I just can’t talk about it.
But It has haunted me ever since. These were not animals. I still see their faces when I sleep. I get nightmares from it. I mean… these were my parents! Kid should never have to see that kinda darkness.
I started to shutdown after that. Daddy tried to tell me that those kids would've grown up to be just like the rest of them. I mean, how did he know? He was just a little kid, ain’t nobody gave him a choice, just cause the test turned the wrong color. They might scare me, but… I mean, not all of them could be bad right?
Right?
Anyhow, around twenty sixteen our runnin’ days were at an end. All I remember half the time was moving. Never could stay anywhere too long. Then those Wolfhound folks found us…. I-I was….*deep breath* I was the reason they found us. I just… I just I couldn’t forget the kid and they were startin’ to want me and my brother to learn to be like them. Started teaching us to use weapons. Become Humanis Firsts never generation of soldiers. My brother was ready to drink the Koolaid, he loved our parents so much, not saying I didn’t…. but… he hadn’t seen what I had. I mean, jeezus, did we ever really got to be kids in all this? Fighting and death is what we’ve known. I didn’t want my brother to become like them. I didn’t want to be like them. I just… I had to get us out of there, especially before they made him kill in the name of their cause.
Once there was blood on his hands, I didn’t think I could save him.
So… so I found a way. I knew where we were going and I told the gas station guy who my parents were and where we were going. I… I just wanted to get me and my brother out. I didn’t think… *nervous laugh* Lets just say We.. uh… we got out alright. Wolfhound came for us. I just… never realized just how bad my parents were. I mean, how was I supposed to know? I often get asked if I would have turned them in if I had known…. I guess we won’t know, huh? Cause I did and…
On May 6, 2016, My parents were executed for the atrocities they committed in the name of Humanis First. I was 15… it… it was a lot to take in. They told me it wouldn’t happen if I testified. I went numb when they read the verdict.
I killed my parents. I’m responsible for them being on the wrong side of the dirt..
The worst part was my brother finding out, he was so furious. Turned his back on me. That brought its own pain. I couldn’t handle it… I ran away from the foster home the first chance I got. I don’t know what happened to him, if he stayed in the system or got adopted. I hope he ended up in a good home. It would make it almost worth it. Maybe its better I don’t know. What if he died? If I don’t know, then he’ll always be alive… like that cat in the box, except it’s my twin brother.
I really miss him, tho. Wonder if he still hates me.
I’ve been running ever since I left that home. Going place to place, headed mostly out west where a person could disappear anmd reinvent themselves away from the government… Doing odd jobs, learning new skills. My favorite thing was learning how things work, especially vehicles. I think the place I stayed longest, this old guy let me stay with him and taught me a lot of what I know about cars. Served me well as I continued on. But I always moved when they start asking me about my parents or trying to make me stay or… if there are too many evos. The evos still scare me, I mean. I met good ones, but.. I… just… I dunno. I’ve seen what so many of them could do… it’s scary.
I think the only thing that keeps me sane is Goober, my dog. He never really leaves my side. I found Goob living all by himself in the ruins of a house, waiting for his people to come home. He looked all scruffy and sad… It took awhile and a lot of food scraps to win over his trust. He hasn’t left my side since. He just… he just gets me. Seems to know all my moods.
Anyhow, I’m an adult now, so… I guess I should stop running. I’ve started wandering towards this place called the Safe Zone… I’m not sure about that place, if people found out who I really am? Doubt they’d welcome me. Still curious though, all the little settlements I’d visited said it was this shining new place. Maybe… maybe my brother is there?
When and if I go check out this Safe Zone… No one needs to know my real name, as far as I am concerned… that person is dead. Just… just call me Roxanne, or you can call me Roxie.
I’m just a self-made war orphan.
