Participants:
| Scene Title | Are You Fucking Kidding |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | Tania has to get something off her chest, even though she knows Abby is going to hate it. Really hate it. Despise it. |
| Date | August 04, 2011 |
In Dreams
The doorbell rings, preceding the gentle call of, "Abby!" from a certain Russian girl. Or well, young woman. She's carrying a couple bags with her, although at the moment they're sitting on the floor by her feet, and she's dressed stylishly. Brown boots over a pair of jeans and a sort of vintage looking, sleeves tunic, held tight around her waist with a thick belt. There's a hat sitting over her long red hair, and for all that the girl looks well, she has a nervous look about her.
She's about a second away from adding a third mode of getting her friend's attention by knocking, just barely having the self restraint to hold back.
"Coming!" Barely heard through the door to that Condo in lofty heights of NY. A few moments later, the door is unlocked - Some things, Caliban has been able to instill in her since their marriage - and opened, to admit the Russian beauty. No pre-school tottering about, no Caliban present, Jeans and a raspberry colored Oh So Sweet shirt from when she was there earlier for the morning rush. She still smells like pastries as she is holding the door open to usher in Tania.
"Sorry, I woulda been right here waiting, but I was folding and ironing, wanted to make sure Roberts shirts were done proper" Not the ones that he wears with his thousand dollar suits to work, no. Those she makes sure is dry cleaned and done proper by skilled individuals. flyaway blonde hair, the majority of it back and tucked away, she blows up, forcing some of it out of her face and closes the door behind her friend, even as Rhett comes barreling from out of the back forty of the impressive condo.
"What's up, wasn't expecting you today"
Tania grabs her bags and steps in, only to drop them again on the inside of the door so she can greet Abby with a hug. And since Rhett comes along, too, she drops to a knee to ruffle the dog's fur, too. "I brought some ice cream," she says, which, as she understands it, is how women handle difficult situations in life. "And this, too, for you. I was out shopping some, and I just thought you would like it."
She grabs one of the bags and hands it over as she straightens up, inside there sits a rather nice scarf, but also a little off beat. Instead of boring. But regardless of the gift, it's clear that Tania's going a mile a minute today, which is a rare thing indeed.
Indeed, the scarf is something that Abby's actually liking, and she has her own few, used and worn for church or attached to one of the few hoity toity fancy bags that she's gotten from Robert as presents, all in the name of being a proper wife that is presentable at high society functions.
'Oh Tania!" Cooing over the scarf as she drags the rest in to the secondary kitchen out where the dining room is. The better to get bowls and spoons. "It's beauitful. You shouldn't have. I brought some brownies back from work, I can take a brownie break before I gotta go pick up Kasha." She's keen to return the hug, press a kiss to the cheek of the fragile Russian. "How's your brother?" Niceties.
"I saw it and thought of you," Tania says, brushing off the shouldn't haves. She returns the kiss, too, before following her into the kitchen. "Sasha is… Sasha. He's alright. And Kasha? She likes her school?" Preschool wasn't something Tania had the luxury of, and doesn't always get it, but she's interested all the same.
"There's something I need to tell you. It's… I don't…" She stops there, taking a moment to pull her hat off and set it on the counter. "You won't like it. But I have to tell you, Abby. You're my best friend."
"She likes it well enough, doesn't act up" Which is to say that usually serious, sometimes giggly child gets along well with others. "She'll be back in a few hours, I have to go pick her up then take her to the sitter. I have to play dress up tonight" Smile and do what she doesn't mind doing for Robert which is be a quasi trophy wife.
The caution in Tania's voice, combined with the random present and ice cream has her slowly reaching for the bowls while eyeballing her friend. "Oh… okay. Like, disown you, never talk to you again bad or are we talking, like, you think it's bad, but it's not really and you're just really worried?"
"Oh, yes," Tania says, aware of social things these days, although she's not on the guest lists herself. It's maybe clear how she gets the news. Or why she pays attention.
"I think, not disown, but I think you'll be.. I don't think you'll appro — I'm in love with John and I don't know what to do about it." She plops down onto a chair there, to drop her head against the counter. Thunk. Having reached the sort-of-excited-sort-of-dreading stage, this is probably something she's been mulling over for some time.
Something else goes thunk, like the plastic bowls as they make a bit more quicker descent to the counter, spoons yet to follow as she regards the younger woman with no small amount of surprise. Lips part as if they might say Are you fucking kidding or some such expletive laced phrase.
But there's just silence instead. Shocked silence from the syllables that errupted from the womans mouth followed by the abrupt shutting of her mouth and pressing her lips together in some semblence of a thin line.
It's not exactly what Tania had been expecting, as she'd been more prepared for the expletive-ridden version, but after a moment, she lifts her head and looks over Abby's direction. "I'm sorry, Abby. I tried not to. For months I tried not to. I know how he's treated you. And who knows what my brother will say if I ever — " She brings a hand to rub over her face before pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes. She's not going to start crying, if she can help it.
"I just can't turn it off." She starts to stand up from her seat, still too nervous to stay still, "I'm sorry, Abby." Ever one to wear her emotions on her sleeve, it is hard for her to know how this must seem so hurtful, but at the same time, not being able to do anything but.
"Do you love him Tania, or do you love what his ability does to you?" Still no yelling, but spoons have no been put down beside the bowls in very careful and measured movements, mouth and jaw still tense.
Tania lets out a sigh there, it might anger her, this question, if it were coming from anyone else. But it's Abby. And it's sort of a legitimate question. "It isn't that. I know it isn't that. And I also know it isn't just because he's taken care of me all this time. Me and Sasha. I am grateful, but this is not that. I've been thinking it over a lot. It isn't that I must have him or think that he's perfect or can't live without him. I do sometimes try to be sensible. Sometimes," she says with a little, self depreciating smile.
"Then was is it Tania?" All pretense of enjoying ice cream at this moment is abandoned - not before shoving it in a freezer to ensure it doesn't melt - and Abby swings around to take a seat at the counter that separates the bar-slash-small kitchen from the rest of the livingroom. "What seriously, is it, about him?"
There's a pause there, she hadn't been prepared for this part really. A hand moves to rest on the counter, her weight shifting over to rest her hip against it as well. Her other foot lifts to press its sole against her inner thigh, absent-mindedly.
"It's how he doesn't want to admit that he gives a damn about anything, but then goes out of his way for those things. It's how he knows exactly how a suit makes him look and how that makes him a little cockier every time he's in one. It's how he dances around all this danger and somehow makes it all work out for himself. It's how me never treated me like a child or a burden, even though I've been both. It's how he's unapologetic about who he is and what he does. It's how he can be so cruel, but sometimes, he's that cruel for you. It's how he's one of the strongest people I know, but in a completely unconventional way," she can't help but chuckle a little there, not because anything's funny, but just because she's… happy.
Her foot falls to the floor there, and she looks over at Abby, her hands spreading a little helplessly. "In the end, it's that he is who he is and no one else comes close."
Cruel. She's seen Logan cruel. They've both in the past, been cruel to one another, but with her marriage to Robert, she'd had to cool it, behave. Doesn't mean that on many occasion when at a party or some event when he is present that she hasn't imagined in full technicolor, grabbing one of the inevitable champagne bottles and just heaving it up in the air and bringing it down across the back of the smartly dressed man before lodging a stiletto up his ass.
Tania comes around to sit next to Abby, reaching out to put a hand on her arm. It's still a very soft touch, not out of fear, but habit. "I know you're mad. But I couldn't… not tell you. I don't even know if I'll ever… tell him. It would just make things so difficult. I just needed to tell someone before it charged right out of my mouth over dinner or something."
"Till you suddenly follow him out the back door and attack him with your lips against a brick wall" She murmurs, turning her hand up to squeeze Tania's hand. She looks over at her friend, someone she's kept close with and who isn't involved neck deep in Ferry business. "You seriously love him. Can you look me in the eye and tell me, that you love him?"
"Abby," Tania says, her cheeks flushing a little. It's hard enough to be in love with him without thinking about kissing him more than she… thinks about kissing him already. But she squeezes her hand back, and scoots her chair a little closer. "I seriously love him," she says, taking care to look her right in the eye and not to let herself flick her gaze away out of nervousness. "I love him enough to come here and tell my best friend, who dislikes him so, that I love him. I wouldn't do this if it was something fleeting."
"I don't like it"
The scowl on her face gives credence to her words and she sighs, breathing out through her nose. "But you don't need my permission to date or love whomever it is that the lord see's fit for you to love" God knows, people don't care too much for her own 'Lindergoon' as they call him, but she loves him, married him even.
"Just know, that if he so much as hurts a hair on your head, should you ever speak to him of your stupid little infatuation with him, that I will walk down there and light his world on fire without a care to where that will land me, you hear Tania?"
Instead of answering right away, Tania is up out of her seat in a moment and wrapping Abby up in a hug. It's probably the most exuberant she's ever seen her, even if it only lasts a moment before she's back in her seat again. "You're the best friend anyone has ever had, Abby.
"But now I have a bigger question. What do I do? I've never done this before, I always assumed any boys would be scared off by Sasha being… Sasha." Big Russian man staring them down grumpily — or worse — would be enough to run off the most devoted of suitors. At least in her mind. "I don't know how to figure out — Not that I think he feels the same, I mean… I'm just Tania." Which brings out a little slump in her posture, thinking about how unlikely it is and all. "Maybe I'll just… but then how do I pretend I don't love him? I can't just hide from him all the time." Which may or may not be her current strategy.
"Well, that's the crux, isn't it. You either let him know and chance that he doesn't return it, or you never do, moon over him from afar, yearn and pine and then try to find another fish in the sea" Abby points out once all the touching and hugging is done. Suppressing the shudder.
"I suppose… I suppose I could ask Robert for his thoughts on how to approach him in such a way that it won't be awkward if he doesn't think of you fondly"
"Those… those are terrible choices. Is it always like this? Was it like that for you and Robert?" At least she grew out of constantly calling him Mister Caliban. Tania tilts her head a little at the offer, as if trying to work out how that could end badly in all this mess. "He probably knows… It isn't like John has had a shortage of women." It's something that that fact doesn't seem to bother her. Perhaps she's just very open minded. "He wouldn't tell him, right? If we asked him?" By 'we'… she means 'you', of course.
"In Russia" Before the second trip. "He touched my lips. I knew him before, he did favours, I did favours, he protected me from things, from Logan" Abby frowns, putting an elbow on the counter and propping her chin up in her palm. "We were… acquaintences, and then in Russia, he came, when I called, and he touched my lips with his thumb, and we walked away. I didn't see him again until I was stateside, months later and we…." Abby wobbles her head. "We did carnal things, in my car and then we started courting. And then I asked him to marry me. Just one day, the scales tipped."
A deep inhale, then exhale "No Tania, of course I wouldn't tell him, but Robert might know, and if he doesn't, he might be able to tell you how to handle Logan so that should you tell him, and should he just outright laugh, at least perhaps, there might be no awkwardness after.
Tania does look sheepish when she mentions Robert keeping her safe from Logan, but she lets her go on without interrupting. "That's so sweet. I didn't know it was so… romantic," she says with a smile, although that smile turns a little crooked as Abby goes on. "You can say sex, Abby, I know what it is," she says, teasing just a little.
"I hope he doesn't laugh. Or, if he laughs, that he waits until I've left the room, at least. Maybe see what Robert says."
"Robert will not laugh. If anything, he will be… I'm sure… understanding" Given that Robert and Logan share some sort of bond or closeness that even marrying her never broke. Odds are - she thinks - the same conversation was likely held between the to themselves. How could you marry the Beauchamp Girl?!
Likely not over ice cream unless it was rum flavoured and there were cigars. I tapped that, Robert would say, Logan would smirk. Likely how it really happened is not how it plays out in Abby's head.
"Come on, Stuff the ice cream, I need something else, before I pick up Kasha and we need to go… shopping" twitch of her lips. "Something that will make Logan double take when you ask him out to dinner. I know just place. We'll drop his name or Roberts, to get you a spot"
Tania takes a moment to look down at herself, then back up to Abby. "He runs a brothel, Abby. I'm not sure I want to know what I'd have to get into to turn his head." It's a joke! Sort of! She gets out of her chair, though, because ice cream isn't enough for her at the moment, either. "You'll have to teach me how to eat with all the weird forks, then, if there's going to be dinner somewhere in all this."
"If I could learn to do it for Robert, you can learn to do it for Logan" Abby agree's. "Just remember. When in doubt go from the outside in"