Baba Waaahh Ba


delilah_icon.gif magnes_icon.gif



Scene Title Baba Waaahh Ba
Synopsis Magnes summons Delilah to be his rock; she's used to it by now.
Date December 28, 2010

Siann Hall - Magnes' Apartment

It's still somewhat early in the evening, and Magnes, after calling Delilah to ask if she could come over, has changed into a white t-shirt with Nostalgia Critic's face coming out of the Looney Toons rings, and a pair of blue jeans, just sitting on the couch with his arms crossed while looking very grumpy. There's a picnic basket on the coffee table, but the food still smells warm, and the lack of any plates indicates he hasn't eaten yet.

When she finally arrives, the knob turns and the door opens without him getting up, and closes behind her when she steps in. "Hey, Delilah. Could you take your battery out of your phone and lock the door, yatta yatta…"

Delilah wasn't expecting nobody to be behind the door when it opened, much less have it close behind her. Like any other mindful New York mom, she foregoes the stroller or carseat for carrying Walter around with her and sticks with the baby being wrapped up on her torso- walking is good for her now, especially as she's long healed up from the ordeal of childbirth. It was probably not her favorite thing to do for a few weeks, at least. Her purse these days always seems to be a diaper bag or a small backpack, always the kind filled with things that decidedly are her son's belongings, not her own. Today it is a pack. She smells perpetually like baby powder now, too.

"I can't quite do the battery thing, its a flat backed phone…" Though Delilah does turn and lock the door, pausing at the front of the apartment with one hand on the lump of her coat, baby under the buttons, safe from any draft. "If you have a screwdriver?" Maybe it is her way of telling him that she is tired of his paranoia. Probably.

"It's alright, I pity whatever technopath wants to spy on this conversation." Magnes groans, hanging his head back on the couch, having that air about him that says he's just had an adventure. "I threw a roasted chicken at a man today."

"Honestly." Delilah both agrees, and happens to dish out a bit of a fingershake at the same time. She wanders over to peer down at him, his head over the edge of the couch. A couple buttons undone, so is Walter. Sort of. He knows there is someone else here, mostly, making a mumbling noise when he hears Magnes. "A roast chicken? He wasn't part fox, was he? Why would you even…" She isn't sure she wants to finish asking that question, actually!

"Well, I had this great idea. See, when I was fourteen, this woman when she was nineteen was my molecular biology tutor. And now I'm old enough to actually do something about it, but she's completely unimpressed by me and thinks I need to grow up. So I surprised her with a magic carpet picnic, only she started yelling because I guess she's afraid of heights." Magnes pats the spot next to him for her to take a seat, continuing with his story. "So this guy gets all pissed and then interrupts, when I know I could have totally pulled this off, so before I got a date it all got ruined. So I threw a chicken at him."

Delilah listens and picks up Walter from his place in the bundle of coat, perching there on the edge of the couch to look between Magnes and the basket. "Throwing poultry probably didn't help any, you know." She sets the baby on the cushion beside her, and he seems to already be more interested in rocking himself rather than looking at her taking off her coat and such to put over the arm of the sofa.

"It's probably stuff like that, that makes her think you're juvenile. Maybe you should get an accent and dress in suit jackets." Well.

"I was totally… hey are you talking about Teo? I'm way cooler than Teo! And I threw the chicken when she'd already left." Magnes sighs, then looks down at the baby and offers his finger. It's his only baby technique. "Alright, so maybe he's better at making babies than me, but I'm still cooler." He's not jealous at all!

Delilah can't help but blink at him now. "What? No, I was just saying that maybe you should dress nicer and talk more carefully if you want to impress smart chicks." She laughs a bit, watching Walter peer up at the finger. He looks like he thinks he wants it. Mumble mumble, ahhhh- the baby can't quite press himself to grab things yet, but that was surely a 'want'. Surely. "Don't worry about making any babies yet, Magnes."

"I feel like you're older than me. I mean, you have this baby, you're not even depending on Teo for anything. And it's a lost cause, with impressing a woman who's both smart and rich. She's just out of my league, I'll put it to the back of my mind." Magnes opens his mouth wide, then starts smacking the sides of his cheeks to make an echoing pop noise. "I shouldn't be dating anyway, the only way for me to ever date again is if I stopped being me. That's the prime variable in everything that goes wrong with me."

"That's not totally accurate, he does his part." Both with Walter, and with Dee, in the latter more in terms of support. The baby widens his eyes at Magnes when he makes the noise with his mouth, literal baby blues mimicing a gasp as good as anything. Then a faint smile, round cheeks quirking. Delilah leans into the couch, turned enough to watch. "You are in too much of a hurry, I think. It's not like you'll run out of time to meet your other half." Well, technically, he could run out, but she is being an optimist.

"I just wanted to sleep with her, but like, she's smart too, so I figured there was maybe potential for something more than that later. I thought a date would be worth it. But it's not about being in a rush, you know me, Delilah. Even my father said it, he told me right to my face, the only one responsible for the bad things that happen is myself. If it wasn't for me screwing up, I'd still have Elaine." Magnes stretches his lips, sticking his tongue out in numerous directions. "If I drunk more milk, this could be my baby, and he'd be named Bruce Wayne Varlane."

"Your dad sounds like an arsehole, if I ever meet him I'll probably punch him in the eye." Note for the future, don't introduce the two. Or do, depends. Delilah purses her mouth after that. "For God's sake, don't name your son Bruce Wayne. Bruce is a good name, but two names with 'ne' is too much." Oddly enough, she didn't not like it because it was Batman. "You should meet more convention chicks. And I don't think milk has anything to do with old condoms."

Walter watches Magnes' face now, tiny brow knitting in what may be consideration, only to end with a pink baby tongue getting stuck out between his lips. Just for a second, but enough to Monkey-Do.

"But he makes a lot of good points, even if they're unintentional ones. Certain things don't work out because I am who I am, but I'm not going to change my personality. What I have to do is decide what I can and can't do based on who I am." Magnes starts to reach out with both hands, wiggling his fingers, then suddenly stops. "Is tickling good for babies?"

"Good advice as any. Yeah." Delilah nods towards Walter. "He isn't quite at the part where he giggles and rolls when you do it, but I can tell he is ticklish." Hint, the bottoms of his feet drive him nuts when tickled. "What do you say we crack open whatever is left in this basket?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Magnes stares at the baby for a moment, deciding to save attempting to tickle for another time. Instead, he reaches for the basket, opening it up to take a peek inside. There's some sort fifty dollar wine, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. There's also a small pot of spaghetti, enough for two, a pair of white plates, garlic bread, and wine glasses. "I was gonna ask her if she liked spaghetti or roast chicken, then pretend I have which ever she liked."

"What would happen if she had said lobster?" Delilah asks, admiring the effort that he did put into the basket. Seems like he didn't have much of a chance. "She sounds contrary, what with the heights thing. You had no way of knowing that part." Even though it is potentially hilarious. "I haven't had a drink since January, you know." She figures she deserves one, by now. Probably.

"I guess I'd have to go get one, or think of a witty response that leads to eating chicken." Magnes starts placing the plates and silverware out, then distributes the spaghetti evenly between them, as well as the garlic bread. "Uh, what about the baby? Should I blend some spaghetti up for his bottle?"

Delilah has to laugh, she can't help it. "God, no. Magnes, I'd think with all the thought you put into things like this, you'd check out a book on babies." He can borrow one if he needs to, but come on. "He ate a bit before we came, slept on the way over. I suspect a diaper change after dinner." She loops her hands under Walter, hoisting him up to put him in the cradle of an arm and her lap.

"I read a book, just, I didn't get around to reading the whole thing… been a bit busy, and the next thing I knew there was suddenly a baby." Magnes suddenly pauses, staring at the baby, then to her, suddenly doing some math in his head. "God, how are you even walking after that, anyway?"

"It was a lot smoother than I probably deserved. He wanted out, I didn't really have much of a say." Delilah laughs, peering down at the puff of ginger orange hair. "Took me a couple weeks before everything- ah- re-adjusted, I should say."

"It… goes back to normal?" Magnes didn't know that part. Sure, he knows ridiculous amounts about most sciency subjects, but somewhere along the line, the apparent regenerative properties of vaginas were not covered. He starts to whisper, apparently not wanting the baby to overhear. "It's, like, factory state, in working condition, already?"

"…" Delilah isn't quite sure how to process his reaction, or the whisper. "Vaginas aren't iPods, Magnes." She says it at normal volume, no less. "And childbirth isn't like aliens ripping their way out, either. You know as well as I do that the human body knows how to do things, or it wouldn't do them like it does."

"Well, yeah, but I figured it would be a long time before you were ready for stuff like…" Magnes looks to the baby, then covers his mouth and whispers again. "Sex. So, just to clarify, it's exactly how it was before?"

"Not exactly…" Not right there, but. Delilah tries not to laugh because of his prudence around Walter. It's not like his first word is going to turn out to be 'boner' if he hears a few dirty sentences. "But no, I didn't have to be sewn shut or something, its worse than it sounds, but its still like pushing a watermelon out of a fist-sized hole." Um.

"Uh… man, I don't even know what to say to that. I'd ask to see but." Magnes nods a head over to Walter, then grabs the plate to offer her, and pulls his into his lap. "So, what's it like, taking care of a baby?"

"Like eating with one hand." Delilah says, aptly, fiddling with her fork a moment before finally trying to eat off of her plate, balanced on her lap across from Walter against the curl of her arm. He watches, half intent on the plate, half on the path of the fork up to Dee's mouth. Though his neck isn't strong enough for its purpose, his eyes work fine. "Busy. Tired. But I get rewarded all the time, for my trouble. Don't I?" She asks the baby, totally rhetorically.

"I like this. This is better than dating or, uh, s.e.x. Just sitting here, with you and the baby, eating. It's so simple. I don't have a thing to worry about, at all, I just feed you and you're happy." Magnes' spaghetti is of course full of herbs and a few spices, not too much, not too little, and there's just enough beef to give it some texture. "We should do this all the time."

"I came when you called me up, I just kind of figure you'll feed me when I do that." Delilah looks askance towards the rest of the room. "You're a good friend, and an equally good cook. They often coincide. But I can come over sometimes, yeah- it'll get easier as Walter gets older, probably. And hey, we all need a family dinner once in awhile."
Ferrymen> Abby has left this channel.

"You're an awesome friend, Delilah. I should have spent Christmas with you instead of dressing up like Santa and… well maybe I did spend it a bit productively." Magnes sits back with his plate, staring down at the baby curiously. "When do you think he'll start talking?"

"Not til summer, at the very least." Delilah likes to think her son is special- and he is, technically speaking, which she hasn't told anyone yet- but when it comes to milestones he will be like everybaby else. "Nothing will really change from eat-sleep-shit for a while, to be honest. A couple more months of it. He'll teethe and crawl before he talks. I am hoping he isn't a good crawler." Damn ginger babies get into everything.

He'll be an early crawler. Sorry, Dee. "If he's anything like I was, I'm in for it. I don't know how Teo was, but considering how he is now…" Mischief at all times.

"I don't know how I was as a baby very much, but I was told I got started early on phonetics. Sometimes when I think about being a kid, I feel like a robot. I hope I'm not a robot…" Magnes pats himself down, then grins slightly, looking over at her. "Though I don't mind being told I'm a machine…"

Walter seems content to abruptly begin to examine his hands and fingers, even putting a few in his mouth to consider the taste of. "A machine, huh?" Dee is still eating, almost like she hasn't had good food in a while. The baby mutters something, tilting his forehead back and eyes up to his mother. "I'll say. I suppose you need oiled too?"

"Sometimes oil is involved. I'm way more experienced than the last time I showed off my machine-like abilities." Magnes nods firmly, eating considerably slower than Delilah, as he's often distracted by Walter doing things.

Delilah laughs a little, not at him, mind you, just at the absurdness. "Keep your eye on the repairman's calendar, then. Maybe you could sneak in somewhere." Nothing bad about that- she isn't putting him off, but there are quite a few more variables now. Sortakinda. Walter sucks on his fingers, gives them a couple small chews, takes them out to look at the spit on his digits, puts the other one in, pulls it out, shakes his arms out a little, proceeds to return the first finger to his lips.

Magnes sits his plate on the table, leaning down to stare at Walter in the face, fascinated at the baby's seemingly random actions. The look he gives is akin to someone trying to understand this mysterious tiny being. "Sneak in…" Brain processing… "Did you just, uh, offer something?"

Walter pauses what he's doing, one pointer finger in his mouth and the other hand clenching and unclenching. His eyes are on MAgnes when the young man gets close, looking back without any sense of actually wanting to stare at him. Just looking. "Depends. Did you ask?" Delilah snorts, keen on scraping every bit from the plate if she has to.

"If you're offering, yes, I totally asked." Even if he didn't, Magnes would like to retcon it into having asked anyway! "I'm kinda curious, I mean, to see how I measure up to twelve months ago."

"We'll see." Delilah lifts her eyebrows at him. "One of these days when I have a sitter, maybe…" Still himm-hawwing about it, maybe in part to see how seriously he takes it. Or if he takes it as a challenge. Magnes is an endless source of entertainment. If a baby could be dubious, Walter seems to be- peering over at Magnes with a vaguely appraising glint. Studious little bugger, looks like.

"Oh yeah, the baby, I keep forgetting about the baby. That can't be good if he's right in front of my face." Magnes leans in, lifting his shirt to blow a raspberry into his stomach. "It's kinda fun to have a baby, I just don't want to accidentally break him, so I'm trying to wait until he can crawl, then I'll feel a lot better."

Walter wriggles and squeaks in response to that, reacting like a pillsbury dough boy, hands and feet fidgeting at Magnes. "That's a ways away too, you know. Here, go ahead and hold him, just like I am…" Delilah sets aside her dinner in order to offer the boy towards her friend, in exactly the way he should do it himself. "If Sable can do it, you can do it."

"I, uh…" Magnes reaches out, carefully holding the baby as he stares down at it as if he's holding an atomic bomb, sure to hold him in the same way she is. "He's a lot heavier than I thought… I thought babies are lighter and more delicate, but he's like, a solid person."

"That's because he is a person. Tiny little limbs, tiny little organs, all person." Walter looks less impressed than Delilah does, blinking quietly. "I got lucky. He's a good boy. Somehow I think he saves his bawling for home…" She mutters, lifting a hand to rub at her eyes. "I suspect that, or he is saving it up. Maybe he'll explode with rage some afternoon for no reason." Hard to tell if she is serious or not. Maybe in part, stemming from seriousness. Walter's a pretty well-behaved sprout. So far.

"Baba, waaahh ba!" Magnes is suddenly speaking to the baby in babytalk, gently rocking him. "You wanna sleep over? I can read him stories and we can watch movies and stuff."

"I suppose so, if you'd be up for getting a couple things from Walgreens for me." Delilah smiles, watching Magnes with the baby. See, and he was nervous! Walter seems to like it well enough,gumming at his fingers and watching the ceiling and Magnes' face rock to and fro. Baahhhhbbb, Walter says in return. "I don't much feel like going out in the slush."

Magnes nods, standing up so he can carefully transfer the baby back to her arms. "Just tell me what you want and I'll be right back. And you can make yourself at home."

Delilah perches Walter onto her chest, his face on her shoulder. The hand on his back pats softly. "I just need a new pack of wipes, some baby soap, a small baby powder, I'm sure that they stock the little ones too. Though if you wanted, you could probably start a small stock of miscellaneous baby things…" Just in case she stays over. But what she needs now is just a couple things. The rest she can handle with what she brought in her trip pack.

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