Baby, Baby, Baby... Oooh!


audrey_icon.gif cooper_icon.gif

Scene Title Baby, Baby, Baby… Oooh!
Synopsis Cooper drops in on Audrey and asks her an important question regarding his daughter.
Date January 14, 2011

Department of Homeland Security Facility

"Okay Hanson." Though it comes out more muffled around a mouthful of apple that Thomas Cooper is currently chewing to death. "I got a hypothetical question for you… Since you're a woman an all." He pauses looking her over as if seriously pondering if that is true or not. "Girl. Goin' on thirteen."

Without asking he steps into her office and drops into the chair across from her desk, a gala apple clutched in one hand. "Tells you Justin Beiber…. how do I put this…" He takes a bite of the apple, chewing it thoughtfully, before stating, "…makes her have dirty thoughts." Brows lift and he gives her a matter of fact look. The agent can't even fathom why a girl that young is saying stuff like that.

"Do I torture my ex and buy her a CD and a few wall posters or do I buy her a Make Me Pretty Barbie? Or something to remind her she's a kid and not some little hoochie mamma?" He settles back in the chair, making himself right at home. "Of course, her mom is threatening to send said thirteen year old to live with me."

Which alone scares him.

"You should get her a subscription to like tiger beat or whatever magazine it is that pre-adolescents get their parents to buy them. I"m pretty sure she'll be stalker material soon enough. Maybe get some tickets when he's performing again, posters CD's." Audrey looks up from where she's filling in some paperwork, used to Cooper just dropping in. Not used to the apple in his mouth which she glances to then back down to her paperwork.

'He's got a movie and book coming out, that's all they bellow about on the radio these days, so think about buying her a hard copy, and taking her to some 3-D showing of this.. I dunno what it is" She looks up again. "He's what… fifteen? Sixteen? He can't even grow fuzz yet and it's a auto biography? Dear diary, I found a pubic hair, I'm a man" She shakes her head. "That's not worth an autobiography"

There is a wrinkle of the agents nose at the mention of a movie. "Seriously?" Cooper looks almost in pain at the mere thought of sitting through that. "I think I'd rather shoot myself through the head first. Thank you.

"Bad enough she's even thinking that way. I don't want to have to sit through that gag fest and see that smitten look in Ellen's eye." If the apple isn't evidence of a possible midlife crisis. The idea that Cooper's daughter is going to be a teen is enough to send a man over the edge. "I mean… what is the fascination with these girly guys? They all need to get ffff-freakin' hair cuts."

Thomas gives a heavy sigh, looking at the apple with a touch of disdain. "When I was her age, I was playing with star wars toys. Well…. okay so I tried to get my ex to notice me too." There is a minor pause before he sighs. "Alright. I'll get her a subscription to some teenage magazine."

"When I was her age Cooper, I had Cobain on my walls and wanted to bear his babies with such passion that I think if I'd actually met him I would have been struck deaf, dumb and blind" She doesn't look up at him as this little iota of personal information and a glimpse into a childhood and teenagedom is let slip. Audrey's history is a past beyond her career. She won't even say where she was born.

"Relax. Girls do this all the time. Feed the fiscal sink hole that is her desire to immerse herself in pop culture and know that in four years, she'll be wanting her belly button pierced with or without your permission, and will have moved on to worshiping whomever is MTV latest reality star celebrity with some fascination with his abs"

There is a deep groan from Cooper and the apple gets tossed into the waste basket next to her desk. "I think I lost my appetite for the next millennium." He brushed his hand together and glances at Audrey.

"You know…" Cooper trails off a little, fingers rubbing at a sticky spot on the opposite palm. "Never should have had a kid? Not that I'd give her up now." That last hastily added before he's suddenly looked at as a bad person. "I guess it's just that whole… if I had known her mom would become crazy, then I wouldn't have…"

There is a shrug and his expression smooths out some as Cooper shifts modes. "Told Maggie that New York isn't a place for Ellen, right now. If it calms down, I might take her in to give her mom some breathing time. So —

"Tell me that we finally have something? Anything?" Thomas glances at the Sylar walls, brows furrowing into a light frown. "Especially since Hannibal and Junior are laying low."

"Never ever say that again Cooper, or I'll remove your testicles with a spoon which is the least that would happen if your wife or ellen ever heard you say that you never should have had a child" There's an annoyed look on her face now at those words. "Never even joke about it" He's getting the hairy eyeball before she turns to look at the walls. "Yeah, this is not the place for a teenager right now Cooper, not unless you get transferred elsewhere. Teenager under martial law? Recipe for disaster and no, nothing new. Hannibal and junior are indeed laying low. Junior hasn't even showed up as someone else to make me look like a fool."

She swivels her chair back to Cooper, frowning for a second. "You know a Detective Nash from your stint in the NYPD?"

He's a little slow for a moment in hearing that question, maybe it's the utter look of surprise on his face at her reaction. Cooper just kinda stares at her for a moment as if she grew another set of breasts or an eyeball in the middle of her forehead. "Wow," is all he can says for a moment.

Then it slowly seeps into his skull that she asked something, "What? Nash?" A few blinks and Cooper's mind suddenly settles back on track. "Stuck up, refused me as a partner when his left the force. Seemed to want partners with boobs. Thinks he's god's gift to woman? Dresses sharp too, but thinks with his dick way too much."

His head tilts a little, pale eyes curious, "Why? What's up?"

"He got nailed, ass run up the pole it seems, falsely registering evolveds as non-evolved. So far they've found three people, and possibly a fourth" Audrey offers up, listening to Coopers opinion of the detective. "He seem that kind of person? Any sympathetic leanings?”

"Oh… I imagine he's sympathetic to green." Meaning money. Cooper's normally jovial tones are flat and bland, clearly he doesn't seem all that concerned about the detective. "I don't doubt he'd possibly help his partner, but he seemed like the time to look out for number one — himself."

Thomas gives a small shrug of his shoulder and slowly shakes his head as he says, "But, no honestly he doesn't seem the type that would sympathetic out of the goodness of his heart."

That's something to tell Pak. "I'll send Agent Pak your way. She's got a doozy of a case. Someone named Beauchamp, Dawes, Chavez and possibly one Aric Gibbs. She doens't know the latter is claiming that an evolved individual assaulted him and gave him an ability" Audrey shakes her head. "And then apparently our team swooped in while she was interviewing him at the Suresh Center and just made off with him. No flashing of warrants or anything"

"Our team?" Copper looks a little confused at that, half turning in the chair to look out the door to the office beyond. "Normally, stuff like that you hear about around the sludge machine." AKA the coffee maker. Turning back around to look at her, his brows lift. "Another division poaching in our territory? Don't they have to warn us?" he dares to ask. "Or just no good people using the good DHS name to snatch people?"

Then something she says finally clicks and Cooper suddenly looks amused, "Wait. This Gibbs guy claims that a man gave him an ability?" There is a huffed chuckle in pure disbelief. "Is that even possible?"

"I dunno, I promised her I'd see what I could dig up for her, burn a few favors, see what turns out. Sometimes we hear stuff, sometimes, we don't, depending on the clearance level. You won't see this case" She gestures to the wall behind her "Batted around the office and the water cooler"

"But yeah, there's some ability manipulator out there. I'm surprised you don't know, NYPD had their panties in a bunch about it. Think you could hit up some friends of yours back on the squad and see what they can tell you about it. Unofficially. I don't want to go leaving fingers over everything, and it's a DoEA case, but… Pak's a friend"

"I'm sure Jane would appreciate that" Audrey tosses out, looking down to her paperwork. "Beiber. Seriously? Ellen likes Beiber. What's he sing like… about broken teenage hearts and voices cracking and the perils of puberty?"

"God if I know…" Cooper grunts and shakes his head. "As far as I get, is when I hear 'Baby. Baby. Baby. Ooooh' then I click off." Yes, he even even sings it. In as higher register even, tho the note goes sour and cracks a bit at the end when he tries to get that note up there. The man has never really cared if people give him funny looks, like a few of them out there do.

"I should demand a paternity. No way she could be mine." But then Cooper throws up hands and belts out a quick. "I'm joking! Don't remove my nuts…. besides, I think Daisy took those long ago." He flashes Audrey a big toothy grin.

“She keeps them in a jar in the closet. Maybe some day she'll give them back to you. Come on, I'll buy you lunch. If you have to put your name on a subscription to teen dream magazine, it's the least that I can do" Audrey's glancing to the clock, make sure it is near enough to lunch time, pushing away from her desk so she can gather her badge, gun and holster along with winter jacket. "Thai?"

"That bitch." Cooper says completely straight faced, before breaking into an easier grin. "Yeah, alright. Lunch sounds good." He glances at the trash bin, a light frown creasing his brow a bit. "I guess there goes my diet." He doesn't sound too beat up about it either.

"I made it… like… mmm… one day." Cooper pushes to his feet, and straightens his dress shirt, smoothing a hand down his tie. He doesn't seem like a guy that needs to diet. "Tomorrow, I'm bringing the donuts. Screw healthy food."

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