Breakfast and Heels


kurt_icon.gif odessa_icon.gif

Scene Title Breakfast and Heels
Synopsis A good Samaritan out to deliver a hot meal to a homeless man, Kurt instead finds himself feeding a distraught Odessa, who introduces herself to him as her alias, Brooke. Kurt's life is about to get a whole lot more complicated while Brooke tries to uncomplicate hers.
Date September 30, 2009

Derelict Subway Station

Once a bustling station vibrant with life and people, this terminal has been abandoned. Not difficult to see why, as it's close to the radiation zone, and the only easy entrance to it connects to a tunnel still registering as black on radiation detectors. The area itself sits in a marginal zone of radiation, but the ceiling has collapsed in enough areas to block easy access from the safer zones. An out-of-use subway train lays dead on the tracks. The front car rests on its side off the tracks, while the second, third and fourth car are upright. The fifth has been crushed under fallen debris, either from the initial shock wave, or from later deterioration of the roof above. Any other cars in the train are buried under the rubble.

Windows have been busted open in a few places, and the side door of the middle upright car is opened. The only light in the tunnel comes from this car, a sign of electricity, as the fluorescent lights in this car have been turned on. The hum of a generator can be heard. In the terminal itself, there are doors leading to maintenance rooms and personal offices. One of the doors has a large boulder resting in front of it - a boulder that has been placed there deliberately.

The other end of the tunnel disappears into the darkness.

Dawn has blanketed the ruins of Midtown for some time now, and it's beginning to warm in the glow of the sun. It shows here, too, in the abandoned and disused subway tunnel. It sifts in through caved in portions, casting pale light that looks cold rather than the way sunshine should look, illuminating floating particles of dust in the air.

Hiding from the warmth and the glow, a young blonde woman sits on a large suitcase with a down blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. She shivers, and sniffles, crying softly and wallowing in her misery. She scratches at the bend of one arm absently and then massages her aching muscles. The nausea is awful. She hasn't eaten since lunch the day before, but she's afraid to chance it. A fix, though… That would make everything better. Her head lifts suddenly and she looks around as though she's just heard something and is looking for the source of the sound.

Clamoring down the stairs with a rainbow colored bag hanging from his shoulder and an old by good looking bike in tow Kurt Campbell looks frumpy but still out of place down in the ruins. Calling out, "Joe…hey Joe you here today?" Kurt peers about the ruins for the old man, "Got ya breakfast man." He says hoping that will bring the man out but when he doesn't appear Kurt sighs loudly and runs a hand along his short cropped hair.

Spotting the blond though Kurt's eyebrow raises and he continues down the old tunnel towards her, not the most cautious New Yorker about, "Ma'am?" He says with a hint of worry coloring his tone.

The skin around the woman's eyes is red and puffy from her tears, which she reaches up to wipe away quickly. There's evidence of make-up smudged on her face, but it seems she's made some attempt to clean most of it up. "Oh… You frightened me." She looks Kurt up and down with all the wariness of a wounded animal.

Kurt watches the girl cautiously before taking a few steps forward and saying, "Very sorry about that. Didn't expect to see anyone but Joe down here…" He trails off and scratching his head bends down near the woman, "Want some breakfast I guess since he ain't about?" The bike courier gives her a little smile trying to be careful about not frightening her.

The woman eyes the bag for a moment and then nods. "I am kind of hungry," she admits. She slides the blanket off her shoulders and lets it encircle her waist, gathering it in her lap instead. "Sorry, haven't seen your friend down here. It's just me today, looks like…" She offers a small smile. "Uhm, my name's Brooke. How about yours?"

'Brooke' takes the bag and peeks inside. "Yeah," she answers his question. "Prefer it black, but I'll take it however." She fishes out a breakfast sandwich and begins to gingerly pull back the wrapper. "Thank you for this, Kurt."

Kurt shrugs at her and reaches behind him self to the leans up bike. Grabbing the Thermos from the drink holder he seems to have specially designed for this purpose he smiles lightly, "You're lucky day girl, all I drink is black coffee myself." Getting her a cup with the Thermos lid he waits for her to have a hand and holds it out, "Don't worry bout it, been there, done that myself."

The girl takes the offered cup and takes a quick sip, judging the temperature first. "My boyfriend threw me out," she explains quietly. "Didn't really know where else to go. I'm still kind of in shock, I guess."

Kurt ohs and nods his head at this, "Understandable. You two lived near here I guess?" He asks tentatively and sits down properly near her now, legs crosses lotus style in front of him.

"I used to live around here, before I moved in with him. I guess it just seemed logical to come back to the old neighbourhood," Brooke jokes. She falls silent long enough to take a bite of her food, chew, and swallow. "What about you? What made you come out here? I mean, did your friend always used to be out here?"

Kurt shakes his head at this, "Oh no Joe came here after the bomb. I think his family was killed or something and the guy just snapped. He's harmless but just rambles about the end of the world a lot and all the typical old homeless man stuff." He chuckles lightly and normally isn't this friendly with people himself even, "I'm a bike courier myself, just stop in here in the morning to make sure Joe eats when I can…"

"Definitely my lucky day then," Brooke murmurs. "I'm kind of all alone in the world, too. I feel for the guy." High heeled shoes shuffle on the hard ground as she readjusts the way she's seated on her suitcase. "You know, I never did learn how to ride a bike," she comments absently between bites of food.

Kurt hums and raises an eyebrow at this, "Well hang around with me gal and I'll make ya learn." He grins trying to be friendly but always a little awkward, "Look you need a couch or anything to stay on? I mean I don't know you from anyone but my mother didn't raised me wrong and I can hear her yelling at me from the grave that I can't leave you out here. I'm just got a little apartment in Chelsea but if you need a place to stay Brooke…" He trails off.

Now that was unexpected, and the surprise is written on Brooke's face as she blinks several times in shock. "You don't know me from Adam." A wince immediately follows the expression, but it doesn't linger. "I mean, for all you know, I could be some sort of serial killer." Again, she winces. "I- I mean, you'd really just let me stay with you?"

Kurt shrugs his shoulders, "I know you like the same coffee I do." He points out with his goofy grin, "I mean you don't know if I'm a serial killer or anything myself…Kurtis Campbell by the way…" He says trying to feel a little less like an idiot for making the offer, "But what else are ya gonna do from the looks of it? Got anywhere I should just make sure you get to then?"

The half-wrapped sandwich is settled in Brooke's lap and she reaches out her now free hand to Kurt. "Brooke Lynwood. And I… honestly don't have anywhere else to turn. It would be really nice to have a roof over my head. And a shower." She trails off for a moment, "But I should be straight with you, Kurt." She bites her lip, unsure of how to continue.

Kurt smiles and takes the hand offered to him, "Well alright then, just don't make fun of my girly bath products and we'll be fine. Coffee and showers are my two addictions." Reserved unless someone needs him, that's Kurt, "Straight with me?" He asks raising his eyebrow but still smiling cause she obviously needs something cheerier then this dump.

"I'm a morphine addict," Brooke confesses. "Attempting to be a recovering one." She flashes a sheepish smile. Points for effort, right? "I'm not going to steal your cash or raid your medicine cabinet. I just… might not be the best house-guest. I… couldn't let you offer to take me in without being honest with you on that point." The attempts at smiling fade away and only the shame is left on her face as she tips her head down, avoiding making eye contact.

Kurt nods his head slowly at this and looks down towards the ground for a few moment before looking back up at the blonde woman, "Look Brooke I'm not perfect myself. I'm normally better friends with my computer then people so probolly not the best host, plus I make enough money to live but really if you find something to steal I probolly didn't even know I had it…" He is a touch hesitant with his words now, "Recovering is good though…hard shit to get off of I'm sure just like the rest of it." He seems to have hit the rambling stage of his awkwardness.

"You can retract your offer," she says softly, distracting herself with another drink of coffee. "I won't think less of you for it. I'm sure your mother wouldn't either." Brooke stares at her shoes, bubble gum pink and scuffed from running, dull from dust. "But if you… decide to keep to it, I swear I'll try to pitch in. I… I don't know how to do much, but I'll do what I can."

Kurt shrugs and then shakes his head, "Nah you're stuck with me Brooke, my mother would still kill me if I retracted it." He winks trying to put humour into the situation, "I can see if the couriers need a dispatcher or something?" He offers opening the coffee Thermos and taking a sip right from it since she has his only cup. "So this recovery of yours? I don't know much about recovering from what you are but if you need anything specific just tell me kay."

"You are so nice," Brooke says with soft astonishment, like this is some sort of modern marvel. "I've never met anybody like you before…" She shakes her head, looking as though she's trying to wrap her mind around this. "Nobody's ever actually wanted to help me get clean…" A smile smile slowly begins to claim the frail woman's face. "I'm going to try hard not to make you regret this, Kurt. I mean it." And perhaps what surprises Brooke the most is when she realises she actually means it.

Kurt reaches out a hand to tentatively pat his on the leg in a very big brother way, if she doesn't flinch or pull back, "Obviously you just haven't met the right people lately Brooke. But look you need some help so as I said, no making fun of my Herbal Essenses and Dove," He winks again cracking a smile, "And I won't regret a thing." Kurt's surprising himself but he has his reasons and none of them sound crazy in his head for once.

Her more slender hand, nails painted with chipped red polish, comes to rest on the one he placed on her leg. "Thank you," Brooke says sincerely. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

Kurt smiles up to her and nods his head, "Welcome, but we better get going gal, it's a long walk out of this place if those heels of yours." He smiles and adds, "Besides you probolly don't wanna spend to much time down here. I worked clean up crew myself for years with the radiation and I know this place isn't the cleanest hidey hole about." He starts to push himself up after giving her leg just a tiny pat. Offering his hand down towards her Kurt isn't gonna make her do anything she doesn't want.

For a moment, Brooke hesitates. But when she takes his hand, she seems sure. She stands and folds up her blanket carefully, tucking it back inside of her suitcase before flipping that up and tugging out the retractable handle. She looks down at the debris littering the ground and instead picks up the bag by the handle with only a small grunt of effort. "All right. Ready when you are." With the half drank coffee in one hand, and her worldly possessions in the other, she flashes a smile to her new will-be roommate.

Kurt chuckles he grabs his bike and without much effort hangs it from his shoulder so the bike doesn't get hurt by being drug up the stairs, "Okay short stuff." He grins to her and adds, "Oh yeah one rule at my place, don't drink the last beer before I get off work. Evil roommate move, my roomie at MIT did that all the time." He starts towards the stairs having tucked the coffee Thermos with lid firmly attacked back into the bike holder, "I can get the bag if ya need." He offers.

Brooke mock-gasps with delight. "You mean I can actually drink your beer? Oh, I already love this arrangement." She grins wickedly, but then rests the coffee-cradling hand over her heart, "I solemnly swear not to take the last beer before you get off work." She starts for the stairs and adds, "I'll wait for you to walk in the door so you can see me do it." Her own teasing actually draws a giggle from her. "Don't worry," she hefts her bag up the first step. Though it's a visible strain, she seems intent on handling it herself, "I've got it."

Kurt doesn't offer to help again in an attempt to not treat her like a weak little girl. Instead he chuckles warmly and shakes his head, "I'm dreading the moment already, sends chills up my spine gal." He fakes a mock shiver that is obviously exaggerated and watches her to make sure she doesn't fall backwards down the stairs in those heels. "But I'm not a monster, not gonna start labelling my food and drinks and whining that you took my stuff already." He is still trying to control a touch of laughter.

Brooke laughs genuinely. It seems Kurt has accomplished his mission of cheering up the lonely girl. "Oh, I know my monsters," she assures him. "You don't even rate. I think we're going to get along juuuust fine."

Kurt gives her a joking thumbs up and climbs up to the ruins of midtown walking backwards up the stairs still facing her, "Good to hear, I try to stick away from monster status I must admit." He says with a hint of amusement mingled with concern for her monster comment in his voice.

It's becoming clear that Kurt has found himself benefactor to one very troubled girl.

When Brooke smiles, the woman she's hiding wonders if this is her chance to start over. Maybe Odessa can disappear for now, and leave Brooke to make a go of things. Two separate lives, lived by one woman. How could that possibly turn out poorly?

Brooke's made a friend, though, and that seems a good place to start. "I don't think you have much to worry about," she responds in regards to his attempts to avoid monster status.

Kurt puts a hand to his chest and takes a heavy breath letting it out slowly, "Oh phew, was worried for a sec." He chuckles and waves a hand to the girl. He may seem a bit naive but he isn't an idiot by any means and knows he has gotten himself in over his head a touch. He doesn't seem to mind though and just chuckling still points south, "Okay I work in Chelsea but I got a place in the village recently. Not to far from here promise, gonna have to put you together a bike though if you stay long. You can't live with a courier and not know how to ride." He talks about biking always like it's a life altering choice.

"I would love to learn how to ride," Brooke chimes. "Do you think I could do it in heels?" She glances down at her shoes, then back up enough to mind her footing.

Kurt rolls his eyes at this mutter something that sounds like girls under his breath, "Oh no you don't even try that, only ends painfully I swear." He puts the bike down once they get up to the top of the stairs and leans on it waiting for her, "You got anything else?" He asks not to sure what this new found roomie is gonna need.

"Why? Have you ever tried it in heels?" Brooke sets her bag on the ground once they reach the street level again. "Nope. This is everything. Sadly." She finishes off what's left in the up from the Thermos, shaking out the last few droplets she didn't catch with her tongue onto the ground before handing it back. "A few changes of clothing, couple pairs of shoes, my purse, a pillow and a blanket. … I don't even think I remembered to grab my toothbrush."

Kurt raises an eyebrow to Brooke, "Gal I wouldn't get caught in heels unless you paid me a whole bunch for it. Afraid I could turn you down then." He winks and knows his financial situation isn't the greatest. "Okay so we need to find some cheap shoes and a toothbrush then. Dental hygiene and runners are your friends." He jests to the blonde and taking the lid/cup back bends down to put it back where it belongs before he starts off, only walking beside the bike.

Again, Brooke looks down at her shoes. "Maybe it would work okay in the kitten heels," she insists, as though that would make all the difference in comparison to the three-inch height she wears now. "Ooh, maybe wedges. They're a flat surface!" She grabs the handle of her bag, tugging it upward so she can drag it along on its wheels. She falls quiet for a moment before murmuring, "I really appreciate this. I think I might actually have fun."

Kurt looks confused, "Kitten heels? Wedges?" He asks tentatively, "I don't know if I wanna know…" He gives her a mock, you be crazy look and shakes his head, "Fun? Oh you have an odd idea of fun Brooke, but it's all relative I guess. Just hope I don't run into your ex any time soon, ought to give that man a piece of my mind."

"For your sake, Kurt, I hope you never run into him." Brooke quickly goes silent, taking on a haunted sort of look. It's a few long moments before she realises that she's brooding. "He's just a jerk. Not worth your time."

Kurt shakes his head and looks a touch regretful, "Sorry my mouth is to big for my head sometimes." He admits and then waves his free hand in a dismissive gesture again, "But anyways…you get enough breakfast?"

Brooke honestly responds, "I could eat a little more." There's no shame in the response, where most people would likely claim they were fine. "It is settling my stomach a bit. But I could also do with a nap on something other than my suitcase. I could make it till lunchtime just fine."

Kurt hums and says, "Well I need breakfast so how bout we stop by the place to drop off your stuff then head to the Owl?" He suggests trying to figure out what is the biggest priority for her.

"I've never been there before." Brooke tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles, looking much happier than a minute previous. "I think I'd like to try it. Good coffee?"

Kurt nods his head, "Some of the best really. It's a bit greasy spoon but as long as you aren't counting calories it's a fine establishment." He pats his stomach with is by no means out of shape with all the exercise he gets on the job.

"Sounds fantastic!" Enthusiastic, Brooke actually bounces in step. "I can't wait." Maybe, she reasons, this will turn out okay. Even if it's just for a couple of days, maybe this will be good. "I'm so getting waffles."

Kurt grins and stops himself from reaching out to ruffle her, just barely, "Yeah, French toast is so better." He teases and heads towards the Village and the refugee housing called The Verb by it's residence. "Oh yeah, you got your ID still? I'll need to ask the front desk for a passcard for ya at the building, if you got ID we can just give them it or I can figure out something else if we have to."

Brooke actually stumbles at the mention of proper identification. She catches herself and is quick to hold out a hand to assure, "I'm fine, I'm fine." She closes her eyes a moment and shakes off the embarrassment and whatever else seemed to be plaguing her. "I don't have an ID, actually." Her hand waves vaguely. "It's complicated. I just don't have one right now." She winces and bites her lip as she glances up toward the man. Whoops?

Kurt shrugs and just keeps walking after making sure she didn't bail, "Sure, sure." He has his doubts but keeps them to himself, "I'll just tell them I lost my card and request a new one. I'll just tell the dude at the front desk you're a friend, he's pretty cool with me ever since I fixed his compy."

Brooke nods her head. "I'll get a new one," she promises. "I'm really not as sketchy as I seem. I swear." Though Odessa would have to reason that she's even sketchier than she seems. The pang of guilt in her stomach is unfamiliar to her.

Kurt turns back towards Brooke and raises an eyebrow at her, "Look Brooke you gotta stop apologising and assuring. I get it okay, shit happened." He shrugs to her and turns back so he isn't walking backwards anymore, narrowly missing a pole, "It's all good gal."

"Thanks, Kurt…" Brooke lapses into silence once more, content to listen to the sound of her own shoes on the pavement, the steady rhythm of her pace broken up when she has to sidestep a fire hydrant.

Kurt isn't the type to tell anyone they are living their life wrong. He stays in the silence for a bit then looks up as they are passing the courier warehouse, "Ah there Alley Cat Couriers, that's home away from home if you ever need to find me." He points to the slightly run down looking building with a smile on his face.

Brooke lifts her head and studies the building with mild curiosity, committing it to memory as best she can. "Alley Cat Couriers. Got it." After the building, she regards her companion again. While still distracted, she seems a little less gloomy at least.

Kurt nods his head, "Good people there so far. They're going through a huge hiring spree right now but I'll stick around as long as I don't lose my calls." He shrugs and gives another smile.

This time, he earns a smile in return. "You seem to like what you do, so I'm sure that counts for something." The people who genuinely love their jobs, in Odessa's experience, were the ones who tended to stick around the longest. Without any sort of memory alteration, that is. "What sorts of things do you deliver, anyway?"

Kurt shrugs again, "Whatever the client wants really. I'm one of the few willing to head through midtown so I normally get all the crazy it's gotta be there quick paperwork and even one time delivered a cat. Weirdest thing to deliver a real cat for Alley cats…" He shakes his head at this, "What do you do?" He asks, "I mean obviously you aren't working anywhere right now and I'm just to self absorbed to ask right?"

"I'm, ah…" Oh, boy. "I'm a doctor, actually." Brooke shrugs one shoulder. "I know, doctors are supposed to make money hand over fist, but I've only ever worked for private organisations." That's one way of putting it. "I'm hoping to get some word-of-mouth out there so I can find some new patients and make a little cash."

Kurt blinks at her and raises an eyebrow, "Really a doctor?" He then shakes his head as if clearing out cobwebs and shrugs, "Well everyone is human I guess. What kind of work do you do? I mean doctors have specialties right? Or am I prying, just tell me to shut it if I'm prying."

"I'm kind of a general practitioner. I'm a surgeon as well, though." Brooke's lips quirk into a bit of a smile. "Putting people back together is just kind of my forte."

Kurt does seem a little taken back by this but then just lowers his eyebrow and nods his head to her, "Well at least I won't half to worry about hospital bills living with ya." He winks to her and jokes to cover up his surprise as he tries not to laugh at her last sentence.

"You definitely won't. I can handle just about anything." Brooke seems actually proud of herself when she discusses her profession. Her thoughts are interrupted by the growl of her stomach, however. "Uhm, not much longer, I hope?"

Kurt shakes his head as they come up to a brick building that look old but slightly revamped, "And here I present The Verb…well it's actually called Village Renaissance but that is such a damn mouthful." He smiles and walks in the doors without a keycard, "You only need the card at night." The young man explains.

Brooke nods and follows Kurt inside, taking a slow look around at the building she'll be calling home for a little while. "It seems nice enough." It's better than the places she used to squat at, definitely.

Grinning Kurt just says, "Yeah it's home sweet home for sure. Better then the old trailer I stayed in for years." He says and starts towards the elevator hanging his bike from his shoulder again.

"I've never really had a place of my own," the woman confesses. She's not about to count the place she just had to flee. If you live there under a month, it isn't yours. "Do you like living on your own? I mean, as opposed to with roommates." Brooke can only assume Kurt isn't going to surprise some unfortunate soul with her presence. By the way, I've brought home a stray junkie. Hope you don't mind.

Looking back towards the woman as they wait for the elevator Kurt hums and the adds a trademark half shrug, "Well I haven't had a roomie since I started working at the Cat. Been nice I guess, not a lot of people really get me most of the time…" He says then adds, "Not that I'm like super complicated guy or anything, promise. Though I must admit it's a little to quiet sometimes with someone else there."

"Well, I promise not to make too much noise," Brooke assures with a smile. She glances up to watch the progress of the floors. She watches her mirror image part in the reflective doors. It feels like some sort of weird metaphor. Just don't go all Sanders on yourself. "Maybe you can teach me how to do more for myself. It's kind of a long story, but let's just say that I've never really had to." She pulls her bag into the elevator car and huddles up in the back.

Kurt hums and shakes his head at this, "I mean quiet when I'm working really I guess….I built computers and stuff on the side, sort of remembrance of my MIT days." A computer genius this one, and a reluctant one, "You mean like cook and stuff or more metaphorical then that?"

"Like cook," Brooke confirms. "And run a laundry machine. I.. have no idea what any of those dials or buttons do. And they're all different- It's weird."

Kurt hums and giving her a bit of a wondering look again just ends it in a shrug, "Sure you wanna learn that crud, you're own downfall Brooke." He winks before giving her a smile, "Though no cooking this morning, I'm starving, that's when I get someone else to cook for me."

"Sounds like a plan to me. I wasn't in the mood for burnt toast anyway." Once they reach their destination floor, she's quick to exist the elevator, waiting in the hall with her bag. "And I don't even know how badly I would manage to mangle waffles."

Kurt shakes his head at this and heads for apt 311, "I'm not the works best cook or anything myself I warn. I make a mean omelet though when I put my mind to it and Kraft Diner is a specialty." He jests as he rummages about for his keys and still balancing the bike so the floor doesn't get dirty he unlocks the door and waits for her to enter first before stepping into the bare bones apartment.

It isn't much, she'll admit, but it's still better than most places she's lived in. "I like it." Brooke is genuine in her sentiment. She wheels her bag over to stand next to the end of the couch. "Do you mind if I wash my face before we head out again?"

Kurt jabs a thumb in the direction of the bathroom and settling his bike up against the door slumps down in the computer chair. The apartment is simple with all the basic needs and wants (coffee maker included). A bed is sectioned off not by a room but by a light blue sheet strung up and the couch is a alright looking futon. The only added feature to the apartment is the multitude of books on an ancient but sturdy looking shelving unit (everything from fantasy to politics) and the mess of torn apart electronic that have been somewhat neatly placed to only take up part of the living room, "Grab a shower if you want."

"Do you have the time to wait?" Brooke blinks curiously, halting in mid-step toward the restroom. "I don't want to make you late for work or anything." While waiting for his answer, she decides to look over the books on the shelf. She smiles.

Kurt shrugs at this, "Nice part about my job and being there for so long is they know if I'm not there it's probolly important." He hits the power button on his computer and indicates the bathroom again, "Go, be clean."

Brooke pauses long enough to dig through her suitcase for clean clothes, taking them with her before departing for the bathroom. "Thanks!" she calls, just after shutting the door behind her.

Kurt waves a hand and seems to be instantly absorbed by the odd looking operating system that comes up on his screen, his own version of Linux. "Yeah, yeah, smell you later gal." He chuckles at his self and his immature joke.

Brooke re-emerges from the bathroom about ten minutes later with her still-wet blonde hair pulled up on top of her head in a sleek ponytail. She wears a bright yellow minidress, with an underbust corset at her waist. If she looks awkward, it's only because she pads out in bare feet. "Just let me get my boots out of my bag, and I'll be ready to go." The woman bends over to tuck her pink shoes away and pull a pair of black patent leather boots from the depths. They still have at least a three inch heel.

Kurt raises an eye at the emerging woman and does actually give her a bit of a once over then shakes his head, bad Kurt. "Alright heels, there we go I think heels is a better nickname for you then gal." He concludes and shuts down the computer system as he starts to get up. Having changed himself to not look like such a frumpy mess the dark skinned man can look less goofy in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Heels? Okay, I'll take it." Once she's got her boots pulled on and zipped up, Brooke takes Kurt's arm and flashes him a winning smile. "Lead on to the breakfast foods, my gallant watchman."

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