Breaking News From Capitol Hill

In a shocking and utterly unexpected statement delivered at 8am this morning to the Senate, President-elect Allen Rickham has resigned from his position. He expressed considerable regrets over having concealed an unspecified crime from the American populace, and that his guilt for having done so has grown into something he can no longer deny. To quote, "The American people put their trust in me, and I cannot in good conscience endure having failed that trust, presenting them with only a lie in exchange."

Mr. Rickham refused all attempts by the press to take a statement or ask questions after the delivery of his speech, but retreated behind a veil of Secret Service agents. There is no precedent for a President-elect having been nominated by the American people to voluntarily surrender his office, and certainly not to do so a mere six days before the January 20th inauguration. From what we've seen here, Congress also seems to have been stunned into silence, and it remains to be told what response will follow or how the void Rickham has left behind will be filled.

Conspiracy theorists are already filling the forums and blogs with suspicion that this is related to the events of December 19th, which they continue to paint as a failed assassination attempt rather than an accident. There is also the question of whether this apparently sudden decision is in any way related to Rickham's pro-Evolved platform and the policies he has been working to implement.

We will keep you updated with anything we learn here on Capitol Hill.

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