Call It Selfish


amadeus_icon.gif keira_icon.gif

Scene Title Call It Selfish
Synopsis Keira finally has a conversation with Amadeus that needed to be had.
Date January 14, 2010

North Cove Marina

She called Amadeus up about an hour ago, and kept the conversation rather brief. Meet me at the North Cove Marina in an hour, she said. And then she hung up the phone, keeping it as simple as that. Nothing more, nothing less. It's been well over a month since she spoke to Amadeus last, in any case, since she kicked him out of her apartment.

An hour later, Keira is seated at the end of a dock with a pile of rocks next to her, decked out in warm pants and a warm wool coat. Occasionally, she picks up a rock with one hand, flinging it out at the icy cold waters. A cigarette rests between her lips, its smoke billowing up above her and disappearing into the atmosphere.

Wearing a black zipped up jacket with a gray hood over his head, Amadeus crouches down behind Keira and moves to slip his arms around her shoulders. "Sorry." he says with uncharacteristically soft sincerity, waiting for her response.

For a moment, Keira doesn't move, staring quietly at a rock in her hand. Then, with Amadeus' arms still around her shoulders, she flings the rock out at the water again, before closing her eyes and leaning back against him, puffing at her cigarette. There's a long moment of complete silence from the girl, before her eyes turn up toward Amadeus.

"I really don't know where we stand any more, Amadeus." She pulls the cigarette from between her lips, flicking ash toward the water.

"I've been thinkin' a lot, since we haven't been talkin' or anything. It ain't like when you used to kick me out before, I can't just go on a chick bangin' spree and forget you anymore. I haven't even touched a chick since you kicked me out." Amadeus starts to kiss her cheek, then sighs and just holds her against him as he looks out at the water. "I can live without ever fuckin' Delia, but it fuckin' sucks without you."

Keira doesn't quite resist Amadeus' attempts at affection. But she certainly isn't snuggling close to him, either, just…leaning back against him with a thoughtful look on her face. "I don't know what I want any more, Amadeus." She closes her eyes, taking another slow drag from her cigarette. "There's so much shit going on in my life right now…found out that Ben isn't my dad, but my uncle or somethin'— and Delia's my cousin." She hugs her knees with one arm. "I know…that my dad might be a guy who goes by 'Brick', and that nobody knows where th'fuck he is. Work's goin' insanely well…taken a direction I didn't fuckin' realize it would take."

"You know I ain't never asked you for anything except a good lay and sometimes a place to sleep and some food, so I ain't gonna ask you to make a decision, I just want you to keep talkin' to me and I'll be happy." Amadeus kisses the side of her mouth now, going quiet while he listens to everything. "I did cocain and killed a fuckin' robot with a baseball bat, but I don't think you're gonna believe that."

The woman closes her eyes, falling silent for a very long moment. Then, she speaks. "My new job might prevent me from being with you." She slumps a little, frowning out over the waters. He's not an Evolved any more, certainly— but he was one once, and would still be one if it weren't for the flu. Blue eyes turn toward Amadeus.

"So that's it?" Amadeus asks as he suddenly releases her, a mixture of disappointment, hurt, and a bit of anger in his furrowed stare. "All these years and it's over 'cause of a fuckin' job?" He stands now, sliding his hands into his pockets, then starts walking away. "And here I thought you were the one reliable fuckin' thing in my life."

Keira frowns as he releases her, not moving to follow him. "It's— it's not just the job. It's…a lot of things. Maybe…maybe it was a mistake for us to try and fuckin' date each other." She closes her eyes. "It made everything hurt even more." She turns, looking over her shoulder at Amadeus with a frown on her face. "All the fuckin' whining about monogamy, all the throwin' it in my face that you were really fuckin' tryin' to be monogamous when it felt like it shouldn't have been something you had to try about…"

Then, she turns back to the water, frowning. "I'm sick and fuckin' tired of hurtin'. Of worryin' about everything." She closes her eyes, resting her forehead against her knees. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, 'cause I realized I really fuckin' wanted you. You made your choice." Amadeus doesn't say anything more after that, he just keeps walking, not looking back. He's walking slow, so if she chooses to follow, she can, but he doesn't intend to stop.

Keira frowns, hugging herself at the end of the docks and closing her eyes. A big part of her does want to run after him. But if she does…he could be in danger from her new 'family'. Frowning, she stands up, briskly walking after him with her hands clenched at her side. "Look…I fucking love you, Amadeus, but…I'm not the person you should to be with. I'm a bad person…you don't want or need to be involved with all of this shit that I'm involved with. My new job will fucking kill you if they find out about you. And it's not a job I can just leave, unless I want to run to another fuckin' country and hope they won't fuckin' find me."

"You got yourself tied up in somethin' fucked up, eh?" Amadeus asks, stopping and turning around to walk back to her. "You know how many people wanna off me for one reason or another? I ain't worried about that, they come after me and I've got a hundred people to call. Come 'ere, babe." He reaches out to wrap his arms around her to pull her close, then leans in to catch her lips.

Reluctantly, Keira allows the contact, kissing him back briefly, though she seems unsure about what to do with her hands. After the kiss, she pulls back, frowning. "No…it's not like that. These people— they're important people. You can call all th'people you want, but…you can't beat these people, Amadeus." She turns, looking back over the water.

"Don't fuckin' care. You want me to prove I want you more than any other chick? This is it." Amadeus releases her and holds his arms out, staring down at her with a wide grin. "I'm standin' here sayin' that I'm not tryin' to save my own ass, 'cause of you."

Keira watches Amadeus quietly. before, once again reluctantly, she approaches him, passing her hand over her side briefly before she wraps her arms around him, burying her face against his chest with a frown. Silently, she just enjoys the closeness for a moment…

"You might not care about saving your own ass…but I do." Suddenly, he'll feel the pinch of a needle entering his neck, a tranquilizer injected into his vein. Then, she's bracing to support him, to help him over to a bench. "I won't watch another person I love die. I can't do it, Amadeus…" She squeezes him.

"F-fuck… you always gotta be so fuckin' nuts…?" Amadeus asks as he stretches out on the bench, staring up at her. "Keira, you better fuckin' come back." He goes a bit limp, looking around as he just sort of sprawls. "This is nice shit."

Once he's on the bench, Keira leans close, planting a kiss on his lips and cupping his face in her hands. "I love you, Amadeus. That's why I can't fuckin' be with you any more. I don't want you t'possibly die because of me." Then, after another kiss to his forehead, she takes a step away, frowning down at him. "Call it selfish, but…I don't think I could fuckin' live with myself if you got hurt 'cause of me." She shakes her head slowly, taking another step away.

"Next time I see you, I'm gonna fuck you in the ass…" is a sadly normal response from Amadeus as he closes his eyes, likely going to drift off for a few minutes, enough time for Keira to leave.

Keira shakes her head slowly. There won't be a next time, if she can help it. As he drifts off under the effects of the sedatives, the tattooed woman turns, her heels clicking against the ground as she makes her way away from the Marina, leaving Amadeus to recover from her assault on his veins with a needle full of sedatives.

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