Don't Be Sad, Mommy

Participants:

kaylee_icon.gif

Featuring:

carl_icon.gif

Scene Title Don't Be Sad, Mommy
Synopsis This is how to break a telepath…
Date December 6, 2018

The Sumter Home


The bedroom is fairly quiet and the curtains are drawn to keep most of the light out. The only sound comes from the birds outside and the sound of her family downstairs.

This was becoming more common for Kaylee.

Laying on top of the covers of the queen size bed, the telepath curls her legs up and tucks a hand under her cheek. Blue eyes stare sightless at the far wall, lost in thoughts that she can’t escape. Memories not her own. The turn over and over in her head; and, no matter how she tries, she can’t escape them. It has been a rough couple of months and it’s found her sinking further into a sort of depression. Kaylee knows that Joseph is worried and the kids are confused, but she didn’t know how to explain what was happening. Everytime she was hit with another vision, it was the same, she just wanted to crawl into bed and hide from the world.

At work, hardly anyone is the wiser, Kaylee has learned the art of hiding behind a mask. Though the facade occasionally cracks and she has to take a moment.

She did try her best to explain to her husband, but… it was hard. It wasn’t something you just explain, you have to live it. It be submerged into the experiences of someone else, who is still you. There was so much guilt. However, she couldn’t decide if it was because of the visions and the feelings it left behind… or the fact that a little part of her was wondering why this world was so different from all the others. Was it supposed to be this way?

For so long, Kaylee felt like Joseph was the one (the darkness in her mind always disagreed with that) and she was in love with him still. Yet, when Luther crept into her mind, those same feelings were there. But… where they real? Were they hers. In a way, yes…. And yet no.

On top of it all, like a giant maraschino cherry on top, she had offered to help Squeaks remember her past and the reaction towards Kaylee… even almost a month later it still stung and felt like the world was just piling more crap on top of her. Even though, she understood it as one of the hazards of being a telepath, it hurt.

Tears sting her eyes again and blur her vision; a lump forms in her throat. It took everything in her not to crawl under the blankets like a little kid and under under the covers.

“Mommy?”

The voice is quiet and soft, as if half expecting her to be asleep. It is enough to pull her out of her misery. With a sniff she tries to wipe at the tears without him know. Unfortunately, kids know. “Yeah, baby?” She asks, lifting her head to look back at her little boy, offering him a tired smile.

Sock clad feet scuff softly across the floor as Carl circles the bed to his dad’s side and flops with his head on his folded arms. “Daddy says dinner is almost ready.” He falls silent, his blue eyes watching her for a moment. Kaylee always loved that he manages to have his father’s soulful expression. “You know…. You’ve been sad an awful lot,” stats rather bluntly and with a tone of confusion. His head bobs a bit as he jaw moves. “It’s not me right? Or Em? Or Hannah-banana?”

The nickname is a little unexpected and manages to gets a smile out of his mother, she can’t help it. “You better not let her hear you call her that that.”

Carl give a cheek grin, clearly also his mother’s child.“Too late! She chased me around the yard with a snowball.” He scrunches his nose. “She caught me. It was cold going down my back.”

That gets a huff of amusement, thin fingers move to brush at dark blonde hair, tucking it behind his ear. Carl needed a haircut, Kaylee notes, before focusing on what he’s said. “Sounds like you deserved it then.” Then her mood sobers a little, fingers move to boop his nose. “And no. I’m not sad because of any of you. I could never been sad about you guys. Sometimes mommies just get sad.”

Head falling to the side, then his body as Carl inch worms his way up onto the bed. He grabs Joseph’s pillow and pulls it under his cheek. “But you don’t get this kind of sad, mommy, and you’ve been sad a really long time.” Brows furrowed in confusion as he tries to figure out what is wrong with his mommy. “Is it Mr. Bellamy?” He finally asks looking really confused.

That question gets a blink from Kaylee. “Wha—” is started and trails off, staring at her son like somehow he saw into her head. “What makes you think that?” The question is asked carefully and a bit perplexed.

A little shoulder shrugs, Carl doesn’t really know, but clearly he has an idea. “He never comes to see us or have dinner with us… and we don’t play mind games anymore.” He talks about those sessions often and in great detail, the stories getting wilder with each telling. Something flickers through her sons mind, a bit of guilt. It grabs his mother’s attention.

“What?”

The look of guilt intensifies. “I heard Mr. Bob tell daddy that Mr. Bellamy is sad, too. Daddy was very concerned, cause you are sad too.”

“Carl!” Kaylee scolds her son, finally sitting up. “What have we told you about eavesdropping?” He was bad about it, of course, Kaylee’s ability sometimes makes her just as bad. “It’s rude and if we needed to tell you something we would. Privacy is an important thing,” says the telepath who can read minds.

Like a puppy who knows what he did wrong, Carl doesn’t look at his mom, only fiddles with the edge of the pillowcase. “Sorry, mommy,” he murmurs, his lip pouts out a little like he might be thinking about crying. It was a look that manages to act like a bucket of water on her brief moment of annoyance, shoulders slump.

“Look,” Kaylee starts, reclining on the pillows, she reached over and dragging her son close and pulling him into a hug. Or tries too, he squirms a bit and wrinkles his nose. Kaylee doesn’t let go until she says, “I’m not mad, but you have to stop doing that. It’s a bad habit that could really get you into trouble when you get older.” She should know! “You know how hard it was for people to trust me after they thought I was eavesdropping?” He knows, she’s told him this countless times before, still he stubbornly shakes his head. “A very long time. It’s not fun, not having friends.”

Wiggling out of her arms, Carl sits up and straightens his shirt. Only to then flop back on his butt. He looked adorable with his messy mop of hair. “So that’s why you’re sad? You don’t have any friends?” Clearly everything she was saying was going right over his head. “Daddy always says that if you are sad… or depressed about something you should talk about it.” From the mouth of a child, it sounds so simple. How does she even start to explain what these Overlays are doing to her? She can’t even really explain to Joseph what was happening. It was something you had to live. Even so, it seems like the experience was different for each one.

Then he says something that feels a bit like a punch in the gut, “You should talk to Mr. Bellamy, Mommy.” The seriousness in his expression was so much like his father. “ You should call him and tell him why you’re sad. I bet you’ll be friends again and we can invite him to dinner and play the colors game.”

He is so serious about this advice that Kaylee has to cover her mouth with one hand to hide the smile. Though that smile quickly turns sad again, she can feel the tears again. “Oh my little spark,” she says her voice thick with those unshed tears. “You make it sound so easy, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way.”

Carl looks confused at his mother’s sudden change in mood. There is a twist of guilt in Kaylee’s chest, when he wonders if it is cause of him. The young boy crawls over, curls up, and gives his mom a tight hug. “Don’t be sad, mommy,” he says in a worried and confused voice, he didn’t really know what was going on, but he knew his mommy was hurting inside. “You still have me and daddy and Hannah and Emily. We’ll always be your friends.”

Those words break something deep inside Kaylee. Wrapping her son in a tight hug, it takes all her will not to start sobbing right then, still there are some tears. She loved her family so much and she never wanted to see them hurt, especially not by her. Not by this, but even still Luther slowly seeps into her mind again and she’s drawn to it. Like a moth to the flame. Something needed to change, but she didn’t know what.

“I know, baby,” Kaylee says with a choked laugh. “I know.” Pulling back and taking her son’s face in her hands, she gives him a bright, but watery smile. “I think we need a change though. Maybe we’ll move back to Detroit, hmm?” Her son brighten and pulls away to sit up.

“You mean closer to Uncle Warren?!?” Her son was one of the few people that thought his crazy uncle was the best thing and a ‘genius’. He loved all of the crazy inventions, even the ones that were super dangerous (much to his parents distress). He loved visiting his Uncle and was always sad when he couldn’t go with her. But then he smile falls away and brows furrow. “What about all our friends and Uncle Richard and Aunt Valerie. What about Mr. Bellamy? You were teaching him, who is going to teach him brain stuff?”

A smile pulls a little crooked at the child’s concern, “We’ll come visit your aunt and uncle. Don’t you worry, and don’t go packing, yet. I need to talk to your father about it.”

“Kaylee! Carl! Dinners ready,” Joseph calls from the base of the chairs.

Excitement at the prospect of food brightens her sons face and he is quick to scramble to the edge of the bed and slide off. There he stops and turns back to look on his mom. “Come on, mommy? Before Emily eats it all.” That gets a mildly scolding look from his mother, but… he doesn’t look sorry for it.

There is a small nod of Kaylee’s head and a wavering smile. “I’ll be right down. You go ahead.” Carl doesn’t seem too pleased with the idea. “Really, I will be. I promise.”

Seems to be a good enough reassurance, because he suddenly turns and rushes out the door. Kaylee listens quietly to the thump of his feet and he goes down the stairs. With each step, her smile slowly slips away and the telepath seems to crumple into herself, allowing her emotions engulf her again. Grabbing for a pillow, arms wrapped tight around it. There would never be an escape for her. All she can do is bury her face in the pillow and let go of the tears.

In her mind, the darkness is pleased with her distress. «You never lisssstened to me and now… now you get to lay in the bed you made yoursssself.» Scales hiss along scales as it winds itself tighter. Waiting.

It will be a little longer before she finally makes her way down to the dinner table. Her eyes are little redden around the edges, but a bright smile is there for her children and husband; as is the love she feels for all of them.

Settling into her seat, Carl pushed a bowl of mashed potatoes at her with a smile. Yes, Kaylee thinks to herself. Maybe a change was in order.


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