by Eileen

Ask me what I regret the most.

It isn't refusing to fight him when he used his hands to cover my nose and my mouth.

It isn't breaking myself into pieces like bread, stale and unwanted, and throwing it all away to a flock of thieving birds.

It isn't signing an execution warrant with my tongue every time I whispered a name into his ear.

What I regret the most is showing strength, resolve and restraint the one time I should have succumbed to temptation and given you strychnine with your water when you were too weak not to drink.

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