Environmental Terrorism A Reality

March 31, 2010
Associated Press

At a press conference last night in regards to the decaying status of the New York State economy, New York State Governor Robert Malden was asked what the state government was planning to do about the tremendous winter weather pattern that has been hammering the east coast. Malden's response was one that shocked news outlets with his frankness and openness on a topic many were only speculating at until now.

"There's little doubt in my mind that the Evolved are responsible for this weather," Malden said to reporter Virginia Flagg of the New York Tribune. "I have heard countless reports theorizing the origin of this weather pattern, but when you get down to the commonalities between all of them, you see that there's only one shared thread: This weather isn't natural. Someone is doing this to our country and they are doing it intentionally. I have been in talks with the head of FEMA and the Department of Homeland Security and we are working tirelessly to resolve this situation, but as it stands currently a solution is still a long ways off."

In response to Governor Malden's statements, New York City Mayor Sylvia Lockheart stated that, "I am relieved to hear honesty coming out of the governor's office about this crisis we are all facing finally. It pains me to think that we are at the mercy of an individual or individuals whom wish to cause tragic loss of life, and could have been averted with the proper forewarnedness. My aides tell me that the type of Evolved ability needed to control and manipulate the weather is classified as an Atmokinetic. Rest assured that the Department of Evolved Affairs will be looking into each and every registered Atmokinetic on the eastern seaboard to try and get to the root of this problem."

Representatives from the Department of Evolved Affairs were unavailable for comment at the time of this publication.

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