Feeding Fish


kaylee2_icon.gif tamara_icon.gif

Scene Title Feeding Fish
Synopsis While Colette sleeps, Kaylee talks to Tamara about what's missing in her future.
Date January 14, 2010

Grand Central Terminal

Having stayed up even later then the other two, Kaylee is still up early, as she didn't sleep well. Even though she hasn't had another nightmare since she took a dunk into the bay, she still has been having a hard time not jerking awake in fear thinking she'll find herself there again.

So dressed back in her clothing from the night before, the young telepath fiddles with the Terminal's sole source of coffee. Replacing the filter, scooping in the coffee and popping open a jug of water to fill it. It keeps her busy while her mind goes through the night before and the time she spent staring at the maps hoping that she could come up with some sort of idea.

What is sleep? Simple question, complicated answer. Time to review, to cement learning, to recharge and restore oneself, all prepared to face the next day. Did Tamara sleep? Simple question…

…complicated answer.

One facet of the answer is attested to by the shadows under her eyes; none too pronounced, but present nonetheless. Standing at the threshold of the space designated kitchen, right shoulder pressed against the doorpost, the younger girl is still wearing yesterday's clothes; they and her hair are tousled, as befits the sleep she did presumably get. All dark circles aside.

Her eyes watch Kaylee, Kaylee's hands, going through the motions of preparing coffee; there's something almost apprehensive about the regard, in a half-sensed fashion. She shifts her weight, silver band gleaming as the girl rubs her fingers against her jeans. Tamara speaks first; not that the single syllable carries much weight. Just the declaration of presence.


The lid of the coffee maker falls shit with a loud clatter as Kaylee jumps at the voice. Even telepaths can be startled if they are not constantly listening to their surroundings. Which, if Kaylee isn't in danger, she really never feels the need; so she jumps, startled, twisting around to see who is there. Relaxing she gives the young woman a smile. "Morning, Tamara."

Turning back to the coffeemaker she presses the on button before facing the seer again. Taking a moment to first grab a piece of fruit, an apple. A glance at the fruit, she grimaces at it and sets it back down, replacing it with a banana.

Working to peel the fruit, Kaylee glances at the other blonde. "Colette still sleeping?"

An easy question to answer, that one; Tamara doesn't even have to think about it. Much. "Yes," the girl replies. "She sleeps a lot." Not true in the literal sense; but true today. Quiet, then, as Kaylee peels her banana, as Tamara watches, the background mutter and burble of the coffeepot for their accompaniment. She doesn't want to talk, not really; doesn't offer the opening for the taking, and yet by her continued presence leaves it open for Kaylee to lead the converation wherever she chooses. Blue eyes lift from the banana to the telepath's face, expression neutral, patient.

"Hungry?" Breaking off a piece of the banana, Kaylee offers it to the seer. "Good, she needs it. She's so worried about Joseph… I feel a bit helpless not being able to come up with a plan, I know she must be as well." Seems the telepath does need to talk a bit. "Miss having him around to talk to. He was good about that." Her tone soft and laced with affection. "Never had too many people that would really listen to me before… so it was nice that he listened and didn't judge too harshly. Seemed like the first person to really not see me as Adam's little runaway flunky." The name makes her stomach twist like always, but she ignores it.

"No," Tamara says, but she takes the offered section of banana anyway, nibbling at the edges of one end. She listens, in her turn; tips her head to one side, considering the young woman. "Is that how they see you?" she asks, tone honestly curious, as if this were an entirely novel concern to the seeress. Perhaps it is. She takes a real bite from the banana, chewing idly while waiting for Kaylee's response.

"Well, I didn't make a good impression when I was working for Adam." Again that grimace, but Kaylee still takes a bite of her half. "And I'm pretty sure the guys that worked for him did too." She smiles a bit at the young lady. "Nowadays… I have no idea. I've been trying hard to prove I'm not, but not sure how much trust there is. Hard to tell." She sighs softly, eyes moving to watch the room beyond Tamara.

"No real friends before running away either. Joseph… Eric… Especially, Colette. My first real friends." She smiles a bit focusing on Tamara again. "I'm sorry." The words come quickly, "Standing here babbling on."

She takes a bite from the other end of her piece of banana, and Tamara peers over the middle segment at Kaylee. "You're here, aren't you?" she says, as if it's an answer; and maybe it is. A step back, out of the doorway, clearing the line of sight for Kaylee to look into the other room — but there isn't much to see. Not for her eyes. "No sorry," the girl deflects with a shake of her head. She smiles, a small and quirky expression. "Words come and words go. Speaking matters, and asking; and both of them weren't much without listening."

"I still feel bad, for throwing things at you, when I know you have your own issues and stuff going on." Kaylee breaks another piece off and tosses the peel into the trashcan. "I have to say… I'm glad Colette has someone. She doesn't seem the type to take loneliness well." Turning her back on Tamara, Kaylee heads back to the coffeepot to pour herself some into a blue and orange striped mug. "She's a good girl. Good friend. I feel lucky really." She murmurs, as she adds a couple of sugar cubes and powdered creamer. "First person to call me her best friend… I like that. Knowing that somone likes me and trusts me enough to think that of me."

"It's not a throw if I catch; and I am here. I catch." The logic is peculiar, but the sense may yet come across. It's enough for her. Tamara finishes the rest of her banana, settling back against the wall. She slides her feet out a bit, denim rustling, clasping her hands loosely over her waist. With the door on her right and the kitchen behind, Tamara can't see Kaylee; can't be seen from the kitchen. "She has you; and you have her," the girl says, summing up the telepath's words in short and succinct fashion. Or seeming to; but regardless of its exact provenance, the statement is decisive.

"Yeah… good friends are always hard to find." Kaylee murmurs, a spoon stuck into the mug so she can stir the contents until it's uniformly pale in color. "I should know.. until recently, I didn't even know the meaning." She chuckles softly, thought there is no humor in it. "Now if could find someone to have a future with as well…" She blinks and clears her throat in embarrassment. "Um.. well. If I can find a guy that doesn't see me as a bit of meat to be used and thrown away. Once that might actually want to have something beyond being a friend. A lot of guys I like… they tend to think of me as a sister to protect." She gives a frustrated sigh.

Turning around she notices the door is empty, so she moves to glance out of the door for her. "Oh… there you are." She gives the woman a smile. "Thought I was talking to myself for a moment."

"People need sisters too," Tamara remarks; proof positive that Kaylee is speaking to someone other than herself, even while there was nobody to see. The telepath's glance around the edge of the door is met with a quick flash of a smile. Then she tilts her head, considering the woman before her — and her cup of coffee, too. "What did it mean, for you?"

"Used to? It used to just be people that would put up with me." Kaylee grins, moving over to the table. "Couldn't trust most of them really." A hand moves from her mug to move a map to look at it. She's quiet for a moment, before looking at Tamara. "I watch her when she talks about you. I've seen in her head. You were the first one who touched her and she didn't loathe it." She gives her a sad sigh. "I think we all wish to one day find those special people that make us feel like she feels for you, Tamara."

Glancing away, from the other blonde, Kaylee sips her coffee, studying the maps. "I admit, I'm a bit jealous. I am, however, glad to see her so happy."

Tamara smiles, briefly, thinly, at Kaylee's answer; but she lets it lie, because the question is an ephemeral thing that fades faster still. She steps away from the wall, walking around the far side of the table; around three-quarters of the piece of furniture, before tugging out a chair just far enough for the seeress to slide into.

Folding her arms on the table, she rests her chin upon them and peers over at Kaylee. There's a quizzical air to her gaze, the sense that she hears the words but doesn't quite understand them; some crucial click of pieces into place isn't occurring. Tamara eyes Kaylee for a long, quiet moment, then breathes out a heavy sigh. "I can't tell if that's supposed to be a question," the seeress grumbles. "Not if you didn't." …For all that there's hardly a querying inflection anywhere to be heard.

"No question there, Tamara." Kaylee says softly, looking up to watch the young woman. "Just saying, not everyone is as lucky is the two of you. You and Colette." She smiles softly at the young woman. "I never really believed in a future like that. Never found anyone that even gave me hope for it." Not even Joseph really fits it; in her head he will never count, he's just a crush, someone out of reach.

Looking the blonde over, Kaylee hmms softly, "I imagine it's not easy for you, since you're assaulted by the future all the time. I know it isn't for Colette, but she understands and still she loves you so much." Kaylee has seen it and even now the images play across her head. "I wish I knew I had that coming." She gives herself a shake and looks away. "I know better then to ask really. I guess I've just been feeling lonely… Not for friends. Colette and Doyle are wonderful… but always something is missing."

"Lucky?" Tamara echoes, her head canted, tone perhaps faintly disbelieving. The younger girl straightens, stepping over to stand beside Kaylee; tilts her head back to look up at her, expression sober. She taps one fingertip against the arch of the telepath's cheekbone. "Not luck, not chance; don't ask, wait, regret. Fish come up for breadcrumbs and get an easy meal; but it is easy. Easy is only fine if you just want breadcrumbs."

The seer in front of her gets an amused look when the telepath looks down at her, the words she offers Kaylee are cryptic and not at the same time. "Maybe but the not knowing is harder. Even the most patient fish, is going to yearn for breadcrumbs. I know at times I do and I've spent plenty of time scraping the bottom of the pond." The smile on her lips fades a bit as she considers Tamara. "Is that what you think of what you and Colette have?" She can't help but ask, as curiosity drives her to ask it, "You almost make it sound like wanting breadcrumbs is a bad thing."

The seeress tips her head to one side and gives Kaylee a long, level look. The kind of look that says more loudly than any words: you completely missed the point. By way more than a mile. Tamara splays her fingers against the point where Kaylee's collarbones come together, putting just enough pressure to emphasize her statements. "Kaylee— " Her voice almost stutters on the name, but she keeps speaking. "— has breadcrumbs. Kaylee complains about breadcrumbs. But Kaylee says wait, says come find me. Waiting like a fish. Only works if the other person hears, and not many can."

Brows lift at that statement, "I… do?" She looks rather confused at that, eyes narrowing as Kaylee tries to consider the woman's words. There is a moment there were nothing is said as the telepath wraps her mind around those words. "So, you're saying I need to be the one tossing the breadcrumbs to lure the fish?" There is amusement at the end of question. She's trying to understand, really trying. "I guess if that's the case, I'm afraid the fish won't like the crumbs." She sounds serious about that. Self-worth has never really been something she feels, not surprising with the men she's been with.

"If the breadcrumbs are there… well, them I'm not seeing them." Kaylee gives a little huff of frustration, but then she glances at the seer. "You are an interesting person to talk to Tamara." Kaylee gives the smaller woman before her a genuine smile. "You always give me something to think on."

Tipping her head the other way, Tamara looks up at Kaylee for a moment. She doesn't exactly confirm her interpretations, but doesn't deny them either. It's close enough. "Maybe someday you did. And maybe you didn't." Her lips quirk sideways in a crooked, rueful smile; and then the younger girl steps away, restoring Kaylee's personal space to her. "Did you want to talk about anything else?"

"No.. we're good Tamara. Thank you for listening." Kaylee moves to look at the maps in front of her again. Fingers trace over the map thoughtfully, drawing along the walls of the building. "Just… don't hurt her Tamara… I know you wouldn't on purpose." Blue eyes move from the papers before her to the other woman. "She needs you, I'm pretty sure, from the memories I saw in her head." She gives the woman a soft smile, "Colette really loves you, no matter how she looks at me." Blue eyes shift to the ring on her finger. "Though I imagine you know." A smile quirks at her lips, before she turns back to the map.

"I think I have an idea," Kaylee suddenly murmurs softly to herself, sliding another map from under the other, eyes skimming over it as she turns back to the task at hand, hoping to find something to help Colette's anxiety.

She continues to move away as Kaylee answers in the negative, hearing that before the words are actually spoken; walking towards the doorway, but pausing there, one hand resting lightly on the post, to let the young woman finish her remarks. Polite, in that.

When Kaylee's voice stops, Tamara glances back over her shoulder, face visible in profile — if Kaylee is looking at her rather than the table. The corners of her lips tug back, describing a thin and humorless smile; her tone, quiet and low, is not exactly the most reassuring. "The mirror is never without purpose." And then she's gone.

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