Ghosts Of You

Participants:

lynette4_icon.gif silvia_icon.gif

Scene Title Ghosts of You
Synopsis They can be hard to shake.
Date March 24, 2019

The Benchmark Center: The Rowan-Ruiz Apartment


It’s around dinner time when the door to the Ruiz family’s apartment opens, allowing Silvia passage.While it’s not usually an unusual sight, this time things are a touch different. She had earlier informed everyone she wouldn’t be there for dinner as there was a community barbeque on the beach. There was supposed to be fun and laughter and most definitely not swimming as it was far too cold for that. But it was good people and community and that was the part that mattered.

But for some reason, Silvia wasn’t there. She was back home far earlier than anticipated. She makes a beeline for her bedroom, but there’s a weird uneasy sway to her walk and, oddly, she’s barefoot. By the look of her dirty feet, she’s been walking without them for quite some time as well. External stimuli seem to be relatively ignored as she moves to retreat to the safety of her bedroom.

Lynette looks up from her paperwork when the door opens. She wasn't expecting anyone, and certainly not her daughter, not this early. She looks the girl over as she moves through the apartment. It doesn't take that keen of an eye to see that something's wrong, of course, but Lynette takes in all those details anyway. She leaves her work behind to follow Silvia to her room. She leans against the doorframe, not quite in but not out either.

"Silvia, darling," she says, her voice soft, "What happened?" Concern colors her words, but also her expression. But still, she waits for the girl to let her in rather than barging completely in. "Are you hurt? Are your friends hurt?"

Silvia moves to sit on the edge of her bed, not verbally inviting Lynette in but making it known by the way she leaves a nice open spot next to her. “No one’s hurt. I mean, nothing happened… well…” She rubs the back of her neck. “There was a guy who washed up on shore. I didn’t know if he was dead or not and there were kids there. So I tried to get them back to their parents and I walked away. I think I heard someone say he was alive but I just couldn’t be there.”

She looks down at her hands. “It made me think of my brother.” It’s clear she’s not referring to Manuel here.

“Everything was ringing and I felt sick and dizzy and I just left. It felt like the world was ending right then. Maybe it was.”

Shutting the door behind her, Lynette comes over to take the spot next to Silvia, her arm sliding around her shoulders. "That's a hard feeling. Especially when you were supposed to have a fun night. I'm so sorry, my girl," she says, pressing a kiss against Silvia's hair. When she leans back, she tilts her head a little to look at her face. "If you want to talk about your brother, I'm here to listen." So many of the children the Ferry cared for had nothing but horrible stories behind them. Lynette always admired how Silvia was able to smile in spite of hers, but those sort of stories never truly leave. She knows that well enough herself. She can only imagine how it must be for Silvia.

“You would have liked him. He was older than me and always looking after me. But he was very unhappy. There was a lot of…” Silvia glances over to Lynette. “I don’t know how to explain it without just sounding cold. Saying just the facts sounds like it didn’t happen to me, like it happened to someone else.” She looks back down at her feet again. “Cristiano guarded me against our father. He was violent.”

She looks distinctly uncomfortable. “But no one guarded Cristiano. He was sad. He was alone. And one day he walked into the sea and never came back. But his body came back.”

Lynette's fingers comb through Silvia's hair as she talks, a gentle piece of comfort to help her through it. "Say it however you need to say it. I know you're not cold." Otherwise, she's quiet while the girl explains.

"He must have loved you very much," she says, because the boy was obviously brave, "I wish I had gotten to meet him. I wish you didn't have to lose him." Her hand moves to take Silvia's hand, giving the girl a squeeze. "That must have been hard to see today. To be reminded that way. It's hard, when you don't want to forget someone, but the memories are so painful. So. Tell me your favorite memory with Cristiano. We'll remember him together."

Silvia leans her head against the hand, shutting her eyes. “He brought me flowers. He snuck them in, just the tiniest little flowers he could find. One time he brought a whole bunch of teeny ones and I tied a ribbon around them and kept them under my pillow until they fell apart and were just… gone. But they meant something, because he wanted to bring me something small and special. I think that he felt like he needed to protect those flowers, like me.”

She opens her eyes again. “It just made me feel so sick. I was scared that those kids were going to see. And they did, but they weren’t scared, I was the one scared.”

"They weren't seeing what you were seeing," Lynette says, squeezing Silvia's hand, "you were somewhere different. I have a method for moments like that. I recite to myself. I used street names at first, around the neighborhood I grew up in. Now I tell myself all the important dates in my life. When I met your father. When we brought you here. His birthday, your birthday. The little ones'. It helps me remember that I'm here and not still there. Find something important to you here and when you feel like that again, just go over it in your mind, over and over until you feel steady again."

She touches Silvia's cheek, turning to look at her better. "And when you're ready, pick some flowers for your brother. Try to remember how he was on the good days. It might help with the sting of his worst day."

Silvia gives her a weak smile. “I’m glad you have something important to remember. I like that idea though, I’ll find something to think about… something to keep me here.” She shakes her head. “I just didn’t want anyone to feel like what it was like seeing someone wash up on shore and knowing it was someone you cared about. I hope he was okay, but I just couldn’t be there.”

She looks down. “I kind of forgot my shoes.”

"You have a good heart, Sil. I'm sure he'll be fine, but we can check up tomorrow if you want to. Sometimes you have to take care of you first. As much as I don't love you walking home alone, I understand why you had to. We'll work on ways to handle it more safely." Lynette smiles sideways over at her before she glances down to Silvia's feet. "I noticed," she says, shaking her head a little. "We'll see if we can get them back from someone at the party or if we need to find you another. For now, you get cleaned up. And after, we can have ice cream and watch a romance or two. Just me and you. What do you think?"

“Thanks for being here Mom. I needed it.” A small smile quirks at the edge of Silvia’s mouth before she abruptly hugs Lynette. “I always feel like I can come to you if I need something.” She pauses. “Think we have any sprinkles? I’m feeling like I need some sprinkles.” She gets to her feet, heading in the direction of the bathroom, her smile already back to its usual vibrance. “I’m always in the mood for romances… the more dramatic, the better.”

She disappears into the doorway of the bathroom, the worst of the day locked away in some other spot in the very back of her head, soon to be forgotten.


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