Hard Truths


abby6_icon.gif tania_icon.gif

Scene Title Hard Truths
Synopsis A couple of friends have a lot to catch each other up on. Including coming clean about the past.
Date May 09, 2011

Brooklyn Public Library

It's been hard to get Tania to leave Eltingville. Partly because she doesn't like leaving her brother, partly because she doesn't like dealing with the soldiers, partly because home has been a nice little sanctuary for the girl. You know, until drugged up homeless men started wandering in. The idea that 'home' is not safer than 'outside' and the desire for more books drove her to test the boundaries a little. Sure, she could have probably just asked Logan for some books, but gee, she's been sort of avoiding him since dreaming about being his wife. Awkward.

And while she left with Delia when she went to work, she's since wandered, with plans to meet back up again to go home. And her feet took her to the familiar Brooklyn Public Library, where she now sits alone at a table with a pile of books next to her, like she's planning on reading them all here and now.

Or she going to share them. With the woman who's just started to hover around the table with a fistful of board books and a handful of others. «I'm sorry, that I do not see you soon. I was very sick Tania» Tania. Not Katya. «I hope I did not make you worry too much» That Russian language, tinted by southern inflection that Tania is used to. Only it's brown eyes and brown hair, but everything else is Abigail, sans Kasha who's still down in the terminal.

«He calls you Milenky, doesn't he. His Milenky»

Hearing that voice, and really, there's no one else who speaks Russian quite that way, Tania is up out of her seat to turn and give Abby a hug. A tight hug. "«I'm so sorry, Miss Ebby. I'm so sorry I lied and I'm sorry you had to find out… and it wasn't me that told you. And I'm sorry you were sick… I'm so sorry,»" It's hardly the practiced speech she had ready for apologizing to Abby whenever she saw her next. It's fast and awkward and… so very heartfelt.

There's a bit of a sniffle before she leans back enough to look at Abby's face. "«When I was very young. It is… a common term of endearment in Russia. I am so sorry. I didn't know when it was okay to tell.»"

Abby's own return hug is quick, firm and released just as fast. It's just as heartfelt for the sniffling Russian who is apologizing for doing what she was supposed to. Abby settles the books on the table after they had been awkwardly squished between them. «You had reasons. The same as I had reasons to not tell you why I do not like your brother or Mr. Logan» Abby points out, gesturing to the table and the chairs. "We can stay here, if you like, or go find some smoothies" Tired, lines and dark circles under her eyes, skinnier than before, but not inhumanely so.

"There are things, that I should probably tell you, questions that we probably both have. The… dreams. I would have called you but I caught the evolved flu and I was sick for a bit and have been dealing with a few things before now"

"Please, sit here, Miss Ebby. For now." Tania leaves off comments about how tired the woman looks, because that just would be so rude, but her concern is clear. "«A friend of yours called me. She said… you were sick. I didn't know how bad. I'm glad you're alright.» She told me… about the dream. And I had another. And I… I try not to think too hard."

About being married to Logan, no doubt.

"You had this dream, too. About the wedding. Mister Eaddy. His daughter." It's not really a question, so much as she is just generally thrown for a loop by it all.

"I've had a few, that was one of them. Another one was a funeral held for a friend, another was helping my daughter clean the body of her husband after he'd died" Grim things these dreams. "Mr. Eaddy and his baby, coming to you for help on your wedding day. They're memories, of things that haven't taken place yet. Given by someone who can do things like that in dreams, who's come back. There's a bunch of people who have come back. The woman who's my daughter, she came back. They're trying to change things, make some things not happen."

Abby takes up a seat, gesturing for Tania to take up one too, settling her pack down. "You have a few years, before you marry him. Whether you do or not, I think, is up to you. But I think, that maybe, you need to learn a few things. Sometimes… sometimes no matter how hard people want things to change, want people to change, to stop something from happening, it happens."

"We live with a dreamwalker. She explained many things about these dreams. She found a box of things from the future, things like this. I do not… always understand, but I think… this is not a normal thing." Tania shifts to sit back down, too, shoving her book aside so her attention is fully on Abby.

"I think— I do not understand how I married him. I think, I am like…" The girl circles a hand in the air, as if the gesture would bring her the words she's missing. "I do not think I matter very much, yes? To him. I do not see how a go from the little sister to someone he thinks to marry. This I do not understand. I do not understand why my brother allows this. Miss Deliya, she said… I am happy, the children are happy, because of addiction. I do not see how my brother allows this, either."

She lets out a sigh and looks over at Abby, as if something just sank in to her. "I am sorry, for your daughter's husband. That is a very sad thing, to bury a loved one."

"She won't have to bury him this time around. We'll be ready for it" Who the we is, likely whomever Abby's hiding out with. She spreads her hands along the table top, pressing the tips of the pads of her fingers into the formica top, pursing her lips. "In the winter of two thousand and nine, before I lost my ability to heal people, to take away their hurts, just after I had registered my ability, two men kidnapped me. One was named J-" A pause, before she forges ahead. "James Muldoon. The other man was John Logan. To take me so that I could heal people in an illegal fight ring. I was put in the basement of a brother that Logan ran on Staten Island, locked down there. For nearly a month, they'd take me out at night, drive me to where the fighters were kept, and I'd have to heal. Heal or they'd kill my friends. Kill my boss. And I did, because I don't like seeing other people hurt."

Theres no looking at the table, looking away, just at Tania. "Logan had this ability, has this ability. He can control people. Make them happy, with a touch or even just a look. Like the world is warm and fuzz, like you could care less because you feel so good. He can negate you, or he can make your heart pound so fast, gallop in your chest and feel like all the demons in the world are on your back and you get so afraid"

Tania reaches over to put her hands on Abby's face. it's just a gentle touch, her tension saved for the furrow in her brow and the deep frown. "I am sorry, Miss Ebby. I am sorry he did these things. That he can be so very bad. That he was this to you. I am sorry, too, for whatever was between you and my brother. He is a good man, really," her brother that is, "Just very lost, I think, sometimes. But I am sorry."

Her hands drop there, falling to her lap, fingers fiddling slowly. "I know of this. People are very worried this is why I marry him. Why our children were very mild. I think, they have not met me, these people. It is not like I was very a loud child or very ill behaved." She looks back to Abby there, her head tilting some. "I do not— I am still just a girl. These things, these are not things I had thought about. But I was happy. I do not know if it was his power or just was. I know I was not afraid of him then. I am now, sometimes."

She does look down when Tania touches her face, speaks her apologies. "He can be nice, to people, when they are nice to him, when they give him, what he wants. I took out his eye Tania, and in turn, he had my tongue cut off and was shot then sent to the warehouse where eventually, my friend, people who owed me, rescued us. Sorries don't come from you, for what he did, for what happened. I never even expected it from him. I don't think he's lost. I think he's a scared little englishman, who grabs what he can, where he can and holds tight because he can't imagine a world where he is nothing, where he is nobody"

Abby's lips purse, a minute nod of her head. "I would rather go back to my husband and stand at his side, than to walk down the aisle before you, and stand there while you marry him. How that happens, in the future, I don't know. Except that he used that gift. Because he and I cannot be in the same room with one another. I had protection at one point from him, but that protection is gone."

She reaches up, scratching at the corner of her mouth with her forefinger. "I met your brother, in Ryazan. he was practicing as a doctor, but was also a member of a group called the Vanguard. He went by the name Skoll. He did things that I won't speak of, other than to say that he is a… vicious man. Before I knew who he was, I offered to help him escape. He was baiting us. Then when we came home, he came too. He was hired by someone, to kill me, kill others. And he got caught"

Her forefinger taps on the table, quietly, needing to move some part of her. "And he was sick. He got the evolved flu and people I know, chained him in a basement. I took care of him, bathed him, tried to get him to take pills. He thought that I was you, hallucinating. There's a black handprint on his wrist, where someone I know borrowed his ability to heal a friend, and healed him in the process. I turned your brother over to Logan, so that he wouldn't get caught by the government. Because the Linderman Group has a habit of taking… killers and putting them to use. Taming them. I think that's why your brother is okay with him. Like minds, and your brother owes him."

She shifts in her seat, rolling shoulders. "He calls me the little rabbit, that I need to stop petting wolves. I don't like your brother. But I like him more than I like Logan and would sooner be in a room with your brother, than in a room with Logan. If that gives you any prespective. Your brother saved us on the night that I manifested and hsi former employer came back for us. Logan would have let us all die unless it benefitted him"

"Oh," Tania says with one of her gentler smiles, "I do not think there could be a world where John Logan is not important. He would not allow this, yes?" The smile doesn't last long, but she is obviously one of the people he's nice to. Or ignores, at least.

She has to look away when she talks about Sasha, though, down at the table. It isn't that she doesn't believe Abby, it's just not the things a girl likes to hear about her beloved brother. So there is a long silence before the girl speaks up again.

"When I was very young… Sasha, he was in the military. A hero. He would come and visit and I… I loved him so much, I think to burst, yes? Those were the best times, those visits. Then there was a time, something very bad happened. He had promised me it would not and I… I said very hurtful things to him. I blamed him. It was unfair, this I realize later, but then. Then I thought I would hate him forever. That it would grow and grow everyday. But later… I think I missed him more than I had anger. And still, even though I said terrible things and refused to see him. He thinks of me, when this go— when those men came for me. He found a way to get me safe. And I think, he does bad things sometimes, but under the surface, he is a good man. I think sometimes… he needs me to be here to remind him of this. But I think, like you say, he saved you all, he is good. Deep under."

"I'm starting to think, that there is a seed, of good, in him, in some people. In Logan, in my husband, I don't know. I don't think so." She nods her head to Tania. "He talked, about that time. When he was hallucinating in the basement. While I washed him down. He loves you, he left, because he loves you. He did good is Ryazan, treated people. He brought a friend, who was turned into stone, back to how he should have been. He started to teach Magnes how to fight, I think, that he's still dangerous, but… if a person can love, can really love, then they're not all bad and he loves you"

Which is enough for her. "And now that I have said, what I never said to you before, I'm going to stop. You're forgiven, for calling yourself Katya, for not telling me. I'd forgive you nearly everything, and if… should you end up marrying Logan, as much as I don't want you to, and as much as it would repell me… I'll get in that peach colored dress and I will walk down the aisle for you, if it's safe enough for me to do that. If you still want me to, if you still do it"

Tania has to look down again, because talk of how her brother loves her is a surefire way to get her teary eyed. "I know that he does. He is the best of this family we have. Our mother, she thinks the opposite. But she is very wrong. And I love him very much." She doesn't deny the dangerous part, she knows that much is true, but for her, when he's been vicious, it was for her protection. She can hardly fault that.

She looks up again when Abby goes on, and she reaches over to take the woman's hands. Even if those last words get a bit of a laugh. Not exactly mirthful, but it's there. "I think, it is not time to make wedding plans yet, yes? But Miss Ebby," she continues more seriously, "You are the best friend I have ever known. You are full of heart. This, I did not know there were people this way until I meet you."

«Tell me that, after I hold a gun to my husbands head Tania, and ask him for a reason why I should let him live» She slips her hands away. «If I get the courage to do that» Gets the courage to break the promise that she made to the elder Kasha. «I am hungry, I have not eat yet. Do you want to get something?»

Tania doesn't seem… totally horrified by that prospect, but surprised to hear it coming from Abby. She stands, taking the woman by the hands again, tighter this time. "Think about this thing, Miss Ebby. Before you do it. Regret is a terrible thing to live with. «But I think… sometimes good people do bad things, but still are good people. I think this of my brother. I think you, too, are good, under the mistakes.»"

She drops her hands again, looking back to her books and picking out just a few to take along. "You said… maybe smoothies?"

Under the mistakes. It's a sobering thought, that Abby herself, could be considered on part, or at least somewhat up there, with Sasha in the realm of misdeeds. But in the publics eye, she is. Human trafficking, not to mention the myriad of other things levied on her head. "Robert, is really James Muldoon Tania. Just face changed. Never told me, he just… I fell in love with the man that I loathe more than I loathe Logan" Quiet admission, gathering up her books, the few hardbooks, intending to check them out, or in this case, ask Tania to check them out for her, to read to Kasha. "I promised my to be daughter, I wouldn't try to find him, that I'd walk away but… I borrowed a gun from a friend and I've been thinking of… thinking of going and getting answers from him" Smoothies, is a yes.

Tania's eyebrows lift at that piece of information. Adults like their complicated relationships, apparently. "Oh," she says, frowning again, "«Sounds like… shooting is too good for him», da?" That's a little too messed up, even for the gentle girl. "But I think, your daughter, she says not to do this. She knows things you do not about this event, da? Maybe take this wisdom to heart. Guns, shooting, this thing is a brother's job. Blood or not blood."

«Maybe I ask your brother to do it instead. Or bring him with me» There is some measure of seriousness put to that thought. "She knows something, someone else did too. Told me not to involve someone else. «I think I did, kill him» but something else happened, someone covered for me" Switching between the russian and english as they meander towards the desk, a soft request for the little kid books be checked out by Tania and a promise to return them before the due date.

"I think people forget that I know how to use one. I don't like to hold them or carry them around, so they assume I don't know how to use one" Robert wouldn't. He'd know. "He's been seeing someone too. He's been… He said he'd been seeing someone before we got married and after. Someone who wasn't some little girl from nowhere"

"It may not be a bad idea." Tania takes the books with a nod, an easy request. She remembers that little baby, after all. "«I think it should not be you, if this thing happens. I think the older Kasha, she knows this thing is not good for you.»"

After checking out the books, she ends up handing Abby the books as she explains the rest. And she gets a sort of disgusted look on her face for it. "He is just being hurtful now, to say such things." The cheating doesn't necessarily bother her, but how it was delivered on top of everything else? That does. "You are better putting him behind you, Miss Ebby. Take solace in your child. She will need you. Daughters, they need their mothers. Mothers need their compassion."

THey do. Need their mothers. If she wasn't a wanted woman, she'd have been in Butte la Rose the last few weeks and weeping into her mothers arms, instead of suppressing all the hurt and anger and sorrow doled out by his and Calvins hand. Not be toying with the idea of breaking a promise to Cash and ending the life of a man she both loves and loathes.

"I don't know how to put it behind me" Back out into fresh air, the promise of smoothies. "I haven't talked to many, about it. Just keeping busy with little Kasha, with… with not bursting into flames every five minutes"

"I do not know, either. I try… to think of today and the next thing. But this, I do not know if it would be enough." Tania turns toward her, though, still frowning. "I think, this is a hard thing to say to others. But maybe there are some who would be better at comfort." Obviously, she doesn't count her sixteen year old self among the most socially deft. "Not bursting into flame is the best, likely. But you will have to find something. Something to throw yourself into. Something to care about more than this hurt. This is what I think. This is what I think my mother does. Takes her hurt over the loss of my father, funnels it into hate for my brother. To keep moving until the pain goes away."

"You're good at comforting" Abby's not that much older than Tania herself, but there's a big difference between 21 and 16. The teenager has a point though, it's how she'd gotten through everything else. Medicate, and throw herself into something. Into the bar, into the dessert bar, into helping her friends, her animals. Kasha at the terminal, Rhett back on the island.

"But if the hurt, is so strong, that it's all you can see? If it's so deep and so… wrapped around your heart?"

Tania reaches out to take Abby's hand, pausing their walk for a moment. She does have sympathy and sadness for her friend, it's plain on her face, even if her expression stays mild. Those that know her would know. "«If killing him would make this pain go away, I would say you have the right for your revenge. But Miss Ebby… I do not think revenge would make you feel better. I know it must be hard to just walk away, step forward. But I think, in the end, it is better to try it. Better for the soul. Better to be a mother to your daughter without knowing you broke a promise to her. She came a long way to stop many bad things. This thing is important enough for her to ask for such a promise.»"

As always with Russian, and even Italian to a degree, she needs to think over the words, translate them. Russian even more so as she's still learning that via a person and not just the rosetta stone. She squeezes the other girls hand, drawing her into a hug, holding her tight. «I think you are right Tania. I don't… I don't think that I could do that. I do not think that I could pull that trigger» But she could tell someone else, let them decide. Let them do what she wouldn't let them do with Logan. «You are good for me. Good to me Tania, Katya»

That hug is returned gladly, her hand rubbing Abby's back for a little extra affection. Her words bring out the girl's soft laughter again, and she just gives her an extra squeeze. "Of course, Miss Ebby. You are my best friend." That she speaks in clear English for her sake, her smile genuine and even bright. Something of a rarity.

"We need to get you better friends. Get you better roommates. Delia's okay, Your brother, well, he's family. The other…questionable" Very questionable. "We should get smoothies, get our…food, and I should get back to my daughter. I have Kasha all the time now. I adopted her. Unofficially."

"It's okay. I don't see him very often," Tania says, and she might blush a little. Which probably means she isn't seeing him often on purpose. "I do like Miss Deliya. It is good to have another girl in the house." She nods at the note about the food, and starts them on their walk again, hugging her books to her chest as they go. "Good! I hope to be able to see her again. I think, by now, she must be so big, yes? Over smoothies, you tell me all the good things."

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