I Resolve...

Participants:

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Scene Title I Resolve…
Synopsis Kaylee makes a New Years resolution.
Date January 01, 2011

A cheap motel


It's the time of the night all New Years celebrations have died down to a trickle. Many of New York's inhabitants have slipped to bed in their drunken stupor or just from sheer exhaustion. In one small motel room, the soft glow of flickering neon filters past the edges of heavy curtains. It doesn't bother it's occupants only bathes them in a faint unnatural glow. A pair of slightly opaque plastic cups of champagne sit on the nightstand, left mostly untouched after only a few sips to bring in the New Year. Set aside for other such things… like sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep for some means nightmares and a restless night.

When coming out of such a horrible sleep, some people start awake with a suddenly jerk and a cry of distress. Not for Kaylee Thatcher, who wakes suddenly very aware of the glowing night. She lays perfectly still listening to the sound of her heart, as it tries to break free of her chest due to dream driven fear. The sound thumps loud in her ears, like standing next to a large drum as it beats out a rhythm. After a few moments a sigh slips free. She had been holding her breath till her brain finally made the realization that she wasn't in a collapsing building.

She was safe.

Relatively.

It had been the same nightmare she'd had for several years, since the man named Samuel pulled a building on top of her and tried to kill her. It's a memory that's faded so little, one she'd rather forget, unlike so many others. Still she can almost clearly hear the sound of the wood as it groaned and snapped from pressure, or the crack of mortar giving, and the way the ground sunk beneath her feet.

Just thinking of it now sends a trembling chill from tailbone to the base of her neck.

Slowly— as to not wake her lover — she pulls herself up to sit in the bed with the sheets pooling in her lap. Thankfully she's still decent having thrown Joseph's buttoned shirt on at some point, even if it pulled at the buttons across the chest. Her blue eyes immediately flickering to the sleeping form of Joseph, listening for the deep restful sound of his breathing.

A soft smile pulls at the corners of her mouth as she just watches him, with her shoulders rounded a little against the chill of the room. It was amazing how at peace he seemed when he slept, the tension and stress easing away. He always looked younger in his sleep, without the stress to age him. Fingertips twitched with the need to reach out and try to smooth the fine lines at the corners of his eyes that life was etching there.

Kaylee wished that the peaceful look would continue when he was awake, but she was not so delusional to think that there will ever truly be a time where there won't be that stress.

Not anymore.

It almost made her miss old New York even if she had been lonely, but there was a peace to it. No worries about if the government was going to break through the door and drag them off for just being different. A part of her pondered if Joseph would fit in well back then, unlike Kaylee who had struggled that first year to ease into a technology free world. He seemed so at home working with his hands and living out on the island. Would they have been able to carve out a life back then?

Unable to help herself, Kaylee brushed at a thin length of dark hair that had fallen across his forehead sometime in the night. It's a gentle gesture, done with all the care not to wake the sleeping pastor, but with an affection that spoke volumes.

Letting her hand fall onto her lap, she couldn't help but wonder if he ever watched her sleep or if even his own emotions felt like this. Having been married before, he'd been through all these little things. They are things that are still so very new to her. Feelings she's still wary about, but at the same time tries to embrace fully since life was so unpredictable.

Was he wary as well? She could imagine so. If for any other reason then having already loved and married a woman and it didn't go well? How did the telepath rate? Could she even compare? Kaylee remembers being in that dream and watching him dance with her. She can't help but worry about how she stands up to the ex and fear she'll screw things up.

She could find out — if she wanted — but he trusted her and she swore she never would look into his mind without his permission. Trying to mend her ways, she had promised herself she wouldn't be that person anymore.

It was a silly reason to look anyhow.

His actions have shown her that there is something there between them. He feels something, even if she doesn't know if it matches that fluttering feeling in her own chest.

Did he not hold her when she cried, when she almost died in World War II Germany? Had he not helped her save Lynette's life when he was such a gentle person? Even risked stepping into the past to find Kaylee and bring her back? Most heart warming was that he pressed the twin crosses, that where so important to him, into the palm of her hand?

It was there, she saw it and it made her feel wanted and cared about in a different way then family did, or maybe like family, but so much more. Even if he didn't say the words out loud, she saw it in his actions.

Kaylee sighed again, finally pulling her gaze away.

It was somewhat scary.

There was a sense of we there. She still liked hearing that from him when he said it, but she hadn't meant to say it out loud. Kaylee didn't want to scare him off, by pointing it out. Cause she feared it meant differently to him then her, being still only less then a year divorced.

'We.'

It wasn't just her anymore, she had to keep reminding herself that at times, since so much of her life had been just about her and watching out for herself. Now Joseph shared her life, maybe not in the fullest sense, but enough so that what one did affected the other now. That knowledge made Kaylee feel shame and embarrassment over her recent indiscretions. She hadn't thought about how it would effect him and the rest if things turned out differently.

A person is normally suppose to make resolutions on the New Years. She didn't have one, even told him so when he asked. Kaylee just didn't know what to resolve to do.

She could resolve not to do things like he had suggested, but in truth that would be broken in no time, it was in her nature. It's been years since the telepath truly jumped into danger, but a part of her recognized that she still could. Of course, it begged the question: Was she capable of even doing it still? She wasn't the same woman of five years ago, yet so much of who she was hasn't changed.

Thoughtful, she looked at Joseph again. Kaylee leans over a brushes a kiss against his cheek. In that moment, the resolution comes to her suddenly, even as he stirs a little from the contact.

I resolve…

Kaylee snuggles down under the covers again, feeling his arm slide around her and pull her close, before he settles back into sleep again. She curls up against him with a soft sigh, letting her eyes drift shut so that she can attempt sleep again.

I resolve to remember it's not just me, but we. To talk to you first, not cause you are my leader, but because you're the man I want to and hope to spend my life with.

Whether Joseph's sleep blurred mind will remember the whispered words in his head, only he will know.


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