I Say I'm Sorry Less Than I Am Wrong


kay_icon.gif monica_icon.gif

Scene Title I Say I'm Sorry Less Than I Am Wrong
Synopsis We never do go over, we always gotta go through.
Date February 14, 2020

The Clocktower Building

Kay Damaris is thanking her good fortune (and Mira Sodowsky) for the fact that she was able to secure a meeting with Monica Dawson so quickly. A woman who has every right to refuse to see her. After being shown up to the office where they’ll be meeting, she steps out of the elevator alone, with only her shoulder bag and her silenced cellphone for company.

For all the dangerous scenarios she’s faced over the course of her career, none of that compares to how ill at ease she feels, standing outside Monica’s proverbial door. After everything that’s come to light, Kay has a lot to apologize for.

Only moments after Kay steps out of the elevator, Monica steps into view from the kitchen area. She hasn't slept much— a fact most people would miss because she's good at hiding, but Kay has long since learned her tells. She comes over with two mugs of still-steaming coffee, because it's too early to go without it, frankly.

"Hey Kay," she says, her tone easy, friendly even, as she passes her a mug. "Come have a seat. Sorry I'm one of those people you have to jump through hoops to see now, I had a burning circus fall in my lap recently. It is my circus, they are my monkeys." It's regretful, the series of events that led to this moment. But perversely, Monica feels her best when she has a mission. And she has a hell of one right now.

The mug is accepted easily. The tells are a two-way street, naturally. For all that Kay still walks into a room like she owns the damn place, ready to command, Monica can see that she’s shaking in her proverbial boots, though. The fact that Monica is being so casual about it, when it’s been so long…

There’s nothing tentative about the steps that carry Kay further into the space and to one of the offered seats. Her bag is set down first before she’ll consider sitting down herself. Now, there are two ways she can play this. She can continue to ignore the rift between them and conduct business as usual, or she can address it head on. Given that she is here on business, it doesn’t feel fair to ignore it.

“I was told you left,” Kay begins softly. “That you decided you didn’t want to— That you decided to part ways. One day you were there, and the next you were gone. After everything that went on without my knowledge, I just believed it.”

The coffee is set aside so she can reach inside that oversized bag of hers and produce a good bottle of sake. “I brought you a peace offering. And a gift to congratulate you on your new position.”

Monica lifts her eyebrows as Kay jumps right into it. Her gaze follows Kay's hands, to the mug, to the bag and to the sake. "Kay, please, come sit," she says, although she does take the bottle to look at it. "The only way I'm drinking this is with you, so," she says as she sets it down before moving to take a seat herself.

"Of course you believed it," she says, her head shaking, "I didn't give you anything else to believe. And that part, I am sorry about. I was messed up for a while after she fired me. You remember how it was, adjusting to the arm when I first got it. I had to adjust all over again when she took it back." Of course, she has another now, which she lifts to acknowledge, "Marlowe made me a new one, I've had it a couple months now. Easier this time." To adjust. "I kept you out of a lot of stuff before that. And maybe I shouldn't have. But I did, and I'd do it again. Not because I don't trust you or because I don't think you're capable, I know you are. But we were hunting someone inside Yamagato and with our whole lives wrapped up in them… I couldn't put you and Ella in their line of fire like I did with Asi." And given everything that she lost with how that turned out, she feels like she made the right choice. Although, even so, she knows right or wrong, it's completely in Kay's rights to be pissed at her all the same. "You do not owe me an apology, okay? I owe you one."

Kay keeps shaking her head as Monica keeps talking. She doesn’t want to hear how this was at all her former colleague’s fault in any way. Doesn’t want to accept that this situation took the both of them to create. “I shouldn’t have believed it, though. That you would just leave… You may have hated me,” which she understands now wasn’t the case, “but you wouldn’t have… I should’ve known you wouldn’t have just left ‘Ella hanging like that.”

Whether or not Monica had the opportunity to reach out at any time doesn’t matter. Kay can understand not having the inclination to want to cross that bridge after her betrayal. “Ms Nakamura finally admitted what she did to you. And what she did to Asi. I—” Kay finally sinks down into her chair. “There’s so much she never told me. I feel like if I’d been like you, or like Eizen, or… anybody else, maybe she’d have let me in on what was going on.”

Brown eyes lift to fix on Monica’s face again. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you. I should have. You were my partner.”

"I have no idea how Kimiko feels about evos and non evos. As if competence is restricted to one or the other," Monica rolls her eyes, not putting it past the woman to prefer one over the other. "But honestly, I think she would have kept everyone out of her business if she could have. And all of us that got involved got our punishments."

Setting her mug down, Monica shakes her head as well. "There wasn't anything to fight for. If she hadn't fired me, I would have left anyway. I couldn't do the job anymore." Kill people without question, that is. And with that thought, she refocuses on Kay again. "If you ever want to leave there, get Ella out of there? You have a place here. You could do actual PR, if you want." She would not, the subtext reads, have to help kill anyone.

Unless she wanted.

But that detail can come later, if it becomes relevant.

"That's an open invite. Now, later, whenever, if ever. I only have a handful of people I trust without question, but you're one of them. And whatever wrong you think you did me, you didn't. It was a fucked up situation."

Kay gives Monica the benefit of letting her see the emotion play out on her face. She is overwhelmed by the kindness her friend is willing to show her. If anyone knows how absolutely isolated Kay forces herself to be, it’s Monica. It could only have gotten worse after her and Asi’s departures. No more SEAN to help remind her that she’s not alone.

This? Is a good reminder.

But she smiles sadly. “I’ll think about it. But… Right now, I know I can’t.” But maybe this could be where she nudges her daughter to focus for part-time work or internship opportunities when that time comes. For now, she takes another drink of coffee and wishes just a little bit that it had some Bailey’s in it, even at this hour.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t come here just to catch up.” And for that, she is truly apologetic. “It’s come to my attention that Ms Nakamura has a daughter named Ami, and that Ami was in the care of the Deveaux Society. With your predecessors out of the picture, Kimiko has no idea of the whereabouts of her child.” Kay leans forward a little, canting her head to one side. “I was hoping you might know something about that. I’m still hopeful that she’s still secreted away somewhere, but Ms Nakamura fears the worst. That those who took Secretary Zimmerman and Director Shaw also took Ami.”

"If you ever change your mind," Monica says, because she means that open invite to last until Kay decides to take her up on it. There's little doubt it extends to Ella as well.

When Kay turns the conversation to the more serious matter, Monica lifts her eyebrows. It doesn't surprise her that Kimiko wouldn't contact her directly, but part of her hopes that her former employer knows Monica wouldn't hold their grudge against her daughter. Even if she's far from ready to forgive Kimiko. "As far as we know, no one else was taken and none of our other facilities were hit. It might take me a bit to sift through all the information, but I'll find where Ami is being kept. I'll keep you updated." If Ami was taken, it's another reason for Monica to track down whoever is responsible. She doesn't seem to mind another burden added to her shoulders; not one like this one.

Kay nods her head slowly, both to the open offer and to the promise to look into things. “Ms Nakamura is… Well, she’s beside herself the way that I would be if it were ‘Ella. She’s afraid Adam Monroe is involved, and that he’ll use Ami to exact more revenge on the Nakamura family.” One shoulder lifts in a shrug, “I can’t say I blame her, but I’d also like to believe he wouldn’t stoop to harming someone’s kid.

Even though Kimiko herself is the child of the man he’s trying to continually exact revenge on. The thought leaves Kay feeling uneasy. “Anything you find… You can filter it through me, or… I know Ms Nakamura would be glad to hear from you on this one.” She’ll leave that ball in Monica’s court.

"Unfortunately, I believe him capable of anything," Monica says, letting out a sigh. She's seen, after all, what he's done to his own children. "And I can't say I blame her for worrying. But, if it is him behind it, if she's not just tucked away safe and he does have her— I'll stop him. I think he's done quite enough to the Nakamura family." She has no love lost for Kimiko, but she's not so angry that she'd wish this on her or her daughter. And she knew Hiro enough to respect him. "And plenty of other families, too. But, hopefully all the worry is unfounded."

Monica tips her head to the side when it comes to contacting Kimiko herself. That's a whole other matter, at least to Monica, and she shakes her head a little. "It's less strange if you and I meet up now and then for coffee or drinks than if Kimiko and I do. It'll keep attention off the situation with her daughter. If there is one." Solid reasoning, even if it's secondary to her just not wanting to look her former employer in the eye.

Kay purses her lips. She’d like to believe there are some lines that men don’t cross. Even men like Adam Monroe. She knows all too well that isn’t the case. She’s seen too much in her career not to know better. “Let’s hope she’s where she’s supposed to be.”

Her gaze dips to her folded hands in her lap, steadying herself with a slow breath before lifting her head again to offer a smile to her friend. “Of course. I’m happy to take any excuse to spend time with you.”

"We'll do better with making those excuses from here out, yeah?" Monica's smile sits crookedly, even if there is a tinge of regret to her expression. Time lost. It's not an unfamiliar cycle for her, to disappear when she's… processing. One day, she'll learn not to do that.

One day.

Letting out a sigh, Monica looks over at Kay with a softer expression. "Let's put business aside, at least until we finish coffee. Frankly, I could use a calm morning with a friend before I get to it." And there is so much to get to. Miles to go, as they say.

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