In The Absence Of Hope

Participants:

s_colette_icon.gif nightmare_icon.gif

In Shadows:

s_danko_icon.gif nicole_icon.gif s_joseph_icon.gif s_kaylee_icon.gif tamara2_icon.gif

Scene Title In The Absence of Hope
Synopsis Colette suffers a visitation by the Nightmare Man while in Dr.Sheridan's captivity…
Date February 8, 2010

Colette's Dreamscape


It's dark here.

It's because it's easier to handle with the lights off. You don't have to see what's happening, don't have to associate that horrible person with who he really is, don't have to face yourself. It's dark here, and outside the drawn blinds the city of Boston doesn't sleep, cars whip by the tenement building at all hours, even now when street lights flood through, the digital alarm clock reads 2:01, and Evangeline Nichols is pretending to sleep, pretending she can't hear what's going on in the other room.

It's dark here.

Except for thin rays of light that come in jaundiced yellow between the slats of Venetian blinds, paint across walls, over moving sheets that twist and curl when fingers squeeze them for lack of anything worth holding onto. It's easier when the lights are off, but it doesn't take away the sounds, his breathing, her hitched breaths, it doesn't take away the smell, ot the touch, or the feeling, or the sickened sensation in her stomach. It's dark here, when the lights in the apartment are all out, when swear mixes with tears, when she learns to hate herself.

It's dark here.

"Did you think you could get away?" She doesn't want to hear his words against her ear, feel hands clamping down against her wrists; the unwanted touch. "Did you think you were strong enough?" She'd started to, but the delusion of strength is an intoxicating one and the withdrawal when it is taken away is equally obscene. "You'll never be rid of me… ever."

It's dark in here.

"The cowards who don't resist, but preach patience and understanding. And hope…" His breath is hot against her cheek, body against hers, enough that the tears rolling down either side of her face feel cold in comparison. "Knock one of those down and ten more find themselves in faith, but warp one — infect one…" he trails off and his brows tip up. "Your pastor's never gonna be the same again. And neither are you." Her father's face never looked as cadaverous as Emile Danko's, and yet there he is atop her.

It's dark in here.

"You can't take care of yourself," the breathing is heavier this time, bare skin on skin, and she's trying to claw through her sheets again so her mother has to see the rips when she does the laundry, "you're just a little girl, and no one is ever going to respect you. They just want to protect you, or coddle you, or use you." The lips against her throat are full, soft, saccharine sweet and the feminine voice whispering in her ear is the hate she hates believing. "You'll always be my Sissy, and you'll never grow up." Nicole had never said those things to her before in this room, and yet there she is atop her.

It's dark in here.

A coarse palm brushes against Colette's cheek, back arches and green eyes wrench shut as a knee bends and brushes along warm skin. "Y'never gonna have anythin' you're ever happy with, 'cause you ain't ever happy with yourself. You just keep on shuttin' everythin' up inside yourself, hidin' it…" His lips press to her brow, and her fingernails scrape and leave dark red marks across his back in their wake. "You don't even understand you you are, and I reckon…" Joseph's forehead touches hers, "you never will."

It's dark in here.

A sharp breath is drawn in, teeth clench together and catch a little bit of her own lip in it, nasally breathing comes in short bursts and her toes curl. She strangles out a sob, palms flattening against the mattress beneath her, and Colette feels that delicate hand on the side of her face. "You don't even know who you want…" Coils of blonde hair brush across reddened cheeks, gold eyes meet green, thin slits of yellow light across Kaylee's face. "You shut yourself out from the world entirely, like a scared little girl," her thumb brushes across Colette's lips, "and then dive right back in once you forget how bad it hurts… You want everything."

It's dark in here.

Rolling onto her side, knees curled to her chest and a bare length of spine afforded to the room, Colette shivvers with arms wrapped around herself. The sweat soaked bedsheets cling to her both, splotched red and smeared across pale skin. She chokes out a sob, eyes wrenched shut and fingers curled tight into the rough fabric. A hiccuped cry comes, but the voice at her back turns it silent and makes her blood run cold. "You are always going to be alone…" Exhaling a shuddering breath, Colette slowly rolls onto her back, turns her head to regard the woman standing in shadow at the far edge of the bedroom.

It's dark in here.

"Because you seek affection in people who are incapable of returning it to you…" Golden eyes stare with saucer-wide pupils from the dark, a tangle of dirty blonde hair framing either side of her face, sky blue scarf hiding her mouth. "You think the world will come from someone with the mind of a child, and no heart." This time Colette can't hide the ragged crying sound that croaks out from behind her lips when she catches sight of Tamara's visage.

It's dark in here.

"Where am I?" Tamara asks, golden eyes staring unblinking at Colette as the teen's fall shut, her hands covering her face, breathing out a wet choking sob into her palms. "Why didn't I come for you?" Frayed bits of words come rasping into her hands as she tries to quiet her crying for the sake of her mother in the other room, like she always did. "You know why." Tamara takes one step forward, looking down at Colette as a thin band of light filtering through the blinds crosses over her golden eyes.

It's dark in here.

"Because she doesn't really love you."

It's dark in here.

"But she's too kind to say it."

It's dark in here.

Colette lets out a weak keening sound, her fingers curling at her mouth and a pathetic, drawn out sob making weak protesting noises as she tries to vocalize some demand to stop to be quiet to end this. The crying noises become louder now, tangled up in those torn sheets, laying in the dark by herself, without anyone in her room but the voices of her own fears, guilt, and inadequacies.

It's dark in here.

It's always dark in here.


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