Lighting The Way


cassidy2_icon.gif coren2_icon.gif

Scene Title Lighting The Way
Synopsis Cassidy and Coren break the unwritten rules about partners as Coren tries to light the way for Cassidy.
Date July 1, 2009

Cassidy's Apartment

It was not the easiest task, escaping from work at such an early hour — hardly three hours into a shift, especially with some idea of what was to come. But it seemed to him that now would be the best time, not because of her willingless to finally talk, but because there was simply nowhere else for her line of thought to go but down into the chasms of darkness that so few truly know and understand.

He saw it, almost as vividly as she had. It provoked some strong emotions in her, and the visions as she saw them bled through into his own mind. Her panicking over it only brought those visions to the forefront of both their minds, but he knew she would have to reach this point before she would accept his help. So he backed off. He knew she wanted him to. But Coren is not so deluded to think that he is in any way allowing her to handle this on her own — they're so conjoined now that nothing will ever be done alone anymore, so long as there are emotions tied to any of their activities. No, this is very much a joint effort, one in which he is hoping she will accept his help on.

So it is that, not too long after Cassidy sunk into her funk following being told that she would absolutely have to come into work tomorrow, Coren arrives at her door with a bottle of Bel Normande Blush Grape Spritzer in one hand and a bottle of Glenmorangie Single Highland Malt Scotch Whisky in the other. It's a highly unusual combination, especially considering that Coren is a rather heavy drinker — why should he carry around a non-alcoholic beverage? But everything has meaning. Even this.

It's unlocked.

Even though he's come all this way, Cassidy doesn't move from her spot on the kitchen floor. She's still sitting there arms wrapped around her legs, forehead resting on her knees. Her emotions are just as chaotic and playing havoc with her stomach, but there is an overwhelming sense of relief that he's there. Try as she may not to feel it, she's comforted by his presence. Damn that link…

Her head comes up and bumps lightly against the cabinet. She wasn't ready to deal with this, to face him knowing what she saw. How do you look at a person the same way? Reluctantly, she opens her eyes and turns her head to where she can see him whn he approaches.

And he's there when she opens his eyes. He figured it would be unlocked — she did know he was on his way. Coren sets both bottles down on the countertop. He's not about to pour anything quite yet, even though a bit of alcohol would probably help. No, that's not why he's here. He's here to make Cassidy choose the other bottle — for her own sake.

Coren lets out a contemplative sigh as he looks her way, only moments before he crouches down to her level and rests his hands on her shoulders. "Come on. There are more comfortable places to sit than the kitchen floor. Nothing has ended."

So says you… Cassidy tells him bitterly, he head dipping down a bit as her eyes try to look anywhere but him. Sure feels like it. When she finally allows herself to look at him, her eyes show that loss she's feeling.

As soon as she looks at him the guilt hits her, as she suddenly feels bad for thinking about him and what had happened as being an end. This gets her moving to get to her feet.

As she climbs to her feet, she brushes off his hands. It was weird how much she felt like sh needed it. What the hell was wrong with her? Putting distance between them, she sighs softly. "Thanks for coming, Coren."

And then she pulls away. Not that he didn't see it coming — this is precisely her problem. She sees this is as marriage or some other horrifying nightmare from which she cannot wake up. Coren pulls out two short glasses. "Don't feel guilty for wanting privacy," he says. For this particular event, there will be no intentional communications coming from his thoughts that don't also come out of his mouth. The glasses are left on the countertop. Coren takes both bottles with him into the living room, where he takes a seat on one side of the sofa.

Once Cassidy has arrived with the glasses, Coren says, "Change is a fickle thing. When I was in Atlanta on a case with the FBI, I learned a thing or two about the Tarot, the 'death' card in particular. There's no true death in the Tarot — though I'm sure some would disagree. But what was stressed to me was that it's all about change and new beginnings. That is what this is. It's a change and a new beginning, just like marriage," Coren says, and he points a finger, "To use your own metaphor." He leans back a bit, resting his hand on his knee. It's not polite to point. "I know you feel like you've lost your entire future, but that's just no the case. We will adapt to this. You will adapt to this. All things mend in time."

The glasses thump loudly on the coffee table in front of him, then she moves away from him, pacing something he tends to do. Even though there is truth to his words, Cassidy finds herself irritated by them. "Adapt?" she growls the word angrily. "Adapt how? You going to be able to adapt to me dating? Me falling in love with some guy?" She doesn't mention the next step after that, he can figure it out himself.

Stopping mid paces she spreads her hands to each side of her. "How am I going to adapt to this?" A hand moves to rest on her hp, the other moves to rub at her forehead. "Neither one of us is going to be able to have a life.. cause God knows.. life happens. People enter our lives taking us by surprise…" Point of fact… Mortimer. The pacing picks up again as she continues, voice rising little by little, "It's going to happen. And joy…. we can't follow where we want to cause we're shackled to each other. Head, heart and soul. Thoughts and emotions. How the hell do we adjust to this?"

"Cassidy, Cassidy, Cassidy." Coren pulls the foil off the top of the Bel Normande and twists the metal cap off the bulb-top cork. "You know, I once popped one of these out and it hit my forehead and rebounded off the ceiling and hit my ex-wife's forehead." Yes, he casually refers to his ex-wife as his ex-wife — no hanging on to wife. He carefully removes the bulb-top cork and pours some of the completely non-alcoholic sparkling wine into each of the glasses.

"You're prematurely reacting to new situations," he says. It's a completely logical and emotionless comment. "Situations, might I add, that have not yet transpired. Yes, there was the whole incident with Mortimer, prior to us fully coming to understand what this connection is, but there hasn't been anything else after it. There's a phrase — we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, also we'll burn that bridge when we get to it — that mean the very same things: Wait until something happens before you start worrying about it."

"Yeah, nothing cause nothing has happened." Cassidy points out blandly, she hasn't had the chance since it happened. And now she won't get that shot since he's gone looking for a way to change himself.

Frowning she glances at Coren, "How can you stay so damn calm?" Moving towards him she leans down, a hand resting on the arm of the couch. Her eyes search his as images pass between them.. All her perspective. "You make it sound so easy," she says softly, as an image of her look into a mirror wearing a white wedding dress, walking down the isle. "A lot of these bridges are mine… Ones that you have already crossed." An image of here looking down at a baby with a faint cloud of red hair.

"I'll be too damn scared to cross them, cause of how you might react or what it mgiht do to you." Cassidy whispers roughly as the tears start to finally fill her eyes. "And we know cutting each other off will do more harm then good." Especially, to you. And she couldn't live with that?

There's a blush from that. He's still not used to people caring so much about him — usually it's the other way around. Coren leans back with a glass of the Bel Normande. "Part of it is definitely that I've done all that, and more." He takes a sip. "It helps. I've shared a house and been intimate with two women who were very close to me." One being his late wife and the other being his ex-wife, "And I have a son. But don't think you can't have any of that. We'll find a way to make it work."

Moving to drop down on the couch next to him, Cassidy sighs wearily. "I don't see how we will. Doesn't seem possible." She pretty much flops back against the back of the couch and rests her head on the it. Her eyes open and she gazes at the ceiling, When it first happened it didn't seem so bad. I mean.. bad, but not as bad till I talked to the pastor. Her head turns a bit so she can look at him. That vision really sunk it in for me. Her hand reaches out for his. I don't want to cut your heart out or mine… or even make us only half of what we were for…. dreams. There is a slight tremble to her lip as she tries to talk out loud, "but…." and the words can't seem to be spoken.. But… it doesn't make their loss hurt any less. Of course, he can feel that emotional pain as it grips her stomach making her feel.. empty.

Coren takes Cassidy's hand and actually pulls her closer to him, so he can wrap his arms around her, his drink set aside on the coffee table. "Neither of us are going to cut out the other's heart," he says, reaching a hand to brush away her tears. "And you haven't lost me, for what that's worth."

There is no protest as he pulls her close but there is actually more a skip in the beat of her heart, which is ignored. Cassidy rests her head on his shoulder as he talks, she simply answers at first with a soft, "I guess." Quiet then for a moment, her mind buzzing a bit with thinking over everything said as she tries to sort out her emotions. Eventually, arms slide around him as well, finding comfort right then… "Yeah… I haven't lost you." She murmurs, her expression thoughtful. And strangely that means a lot. It makes her a bit nervous that it does.

"Even when things don't go as planned, when all is said and done, we'll always be there for each other," Coren says. It sounds like a line from a cheesy romance film. No, he doesn't watch chick flicks, it just happens to be what he feels. For better or worse, they're family now. One way or the other.

A smile tugs at the corner of Cassidy's mouth, Oh so cheesy. But he's right. They are something more then just partners now, though both unclear as to what. No matter what the unwritten rules about partners are, they have thrown that book right out the window. Even at this moment, they are probably breaking a hell of a taboo holding each other. It's shaky and unstable ground, they have to write the rules as they go.

At least they will not be alone….. Never alone in their miseries ever again.

When your heart is feeling lonely
If your voice cannot be heard
You can't always see the end
You don't need to find the words
You are someone I believe in
When the tears fall from above
Know that right now I am with you and
when I'm with you you are loved

— Josh Groban,
You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

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