Local News September 2009

BRONX — The New York City planning bureau has officially received permission from the Primatech Paper Company to turn the ruined remnants of the Primatech Paper Bronx Processing Facility into the neighborhood's 336th municipal parking lot. This additional municipal parking lot will create a two-hundred and fifty car free parking zone in what is now the southern edge of the neighborhood. This additional municipal parking lot will help alleviate street-parking congestion issues stemming from roadwork and maintenance. Municipal lot 336 is scheduled to open at the end of October.

NEW YORK CITY — Initially infrequent incidences of stenciled graffiti in the image of a swinging noose and the words HUMANIS FIRST have been on the rise this weekend, with 24 versions of the same image reported in Brooklyn alone. Targets vary, but thus far most have been centered nearby or on Evolved owned or Evolved friendly businesses within the city. Variations of the same violent motif have also appeared around Manhattan and Roosevelt island, where Humanis First sympathizers have been encouraged to "RISE UP" - a mantra the walls of NYC have seen before. So far no arrests have been made in connection with the offensive artworks, but local police are already taking steps to increase beat patrols in neighborhoods that have been hit hardest.

JERSEY CITY — Representatives of the U.S. Department of Energy, Federal Emergency Relief Management, and the Environmental Protection Agency say that background levels of radiation in the "Unreclaimed Zone" of Jersey City in New Jersey are now within safe limits for human inhabitation. Jersey City's "unreclaimed zone" had been closed off to human habitation since the November 6, 2006 nuclear detonation in Midtown Manhattan. Despite the fallout having been deemed "safe" for inhabitation in regions closer to the detonation, ground-water contamination in New Jersey (the ultimate end-path of the fallout cloud) resulted in the EPA determining a ten square block region of Jersey City as inhospitable. With the ban removed, businesses and residents of New Jersey will be allowed — after nearly three years — to return to their homes and place of work. The New Jersey State Public Works Department will be working round the clock to repair untended roads and damage to the area sustained from the years of uninhabitation.

CHELSEA — On the morning of September 13th, NYPD officers raided a tenement building in the neighborhood of Chelsea believed to be a 'Refrain Den'. Sixteen arrests were made in conjunction with the raid, the twenty-eight vials of the street-drug. Mayor Harry Bianco is quoted as saying, "The reprehensible problem of Refrain that is plaguing the evolved peoples of New York City must be stopped before it escalates any further. We will not tolerate Refrain on our streets, in our homes, or in our country." Uncorroborated reports from witnesses at the scene claim that on-site Department of Homeland Security operatives working in conjunction with NYPD officials were checking Linderman-Act registration cards on those arrested, and stated that involuntary blood tests for the SLC may have been performed.

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