Lukewarm Yoga


dirk_icon.gif megan2_icon.gif sahara_icon.gif

Scene Title Lukewarm Yoga
Synopsis Unwilling to entertain his machismo, Sahara dashes Dirk's yoga expectations like a crystal wineglass on concrete floor. Megan, bless her heart, picks up the pieces.
Date January 3, 2019

Mattitude Yoga Studio

Skylight windows cast in sunlight, snowfall occasionally casting shadows down below, but it's plenty warm and inviting on the inside of this older, renovated building. The brick walls are covered with brightly colored sheets that help to liven the environment, and today a table of light refreshments line the back wall to make the studio space that much more inviting to a first-time visitor. Uniformly-colored yoga mats with foam blocks are set apart at respectful intervals from each other, awaiting their prospective yogis!

The class's instructor, Sahara Jackson, is mingling with her new students and getting to know them. Her hair is pulled back, her eyes bright, her smile wide as she converses warmly with a paper cup of steaming tea held in one hand. She takes a moment to glance up to the clock at the back of the studio. 15 minutes until class start!

"Heeeeeyyyyy Ronnie, it's your Archiekins~" Dirk sing songs into the cell phone held in front of him. It's not cool if it's not on speaker, because otherwise you might as well be talking to yourself. "Just hitting the hot yoga studio, thought you might wanna come take a gander at this goose in the lotus, if you know what I mean.. Rrrroorrwwwww. Talk to you later!"

After that message has been sent his thumb quickly taps over the screen to another colleague.

🔥 yoga
🔥🔥 YOGA 🔥🔥

He's prepared. For the honeys.

He walks through the door with his mat rolled up and hooked to his black gym bag with purple highlights. If anything, Dirk looks like he's been taking yoga classes for years. Pushing one of the complementary mats out of the way, he unrolls his with a snap, right in the front row.

The redhead at the back of the room sipping from a water is surveying the classroom with a thoughtful eye. She's clearly an old hand at yoga — and she's not a spring chicken, though she appears in good shape. Yoga clothes don't do much to hide the lean muscle overlaid with slender though decent curves. She absently pushes a swath of pure white hair off her eye and back behind her ear because it's not long enough to reach the clip that holds the rest of her silver-streaked copper hair. Apparently she doesn't feel the need to hide behind hair coloring.

Setting her water down, she quirks a brow at the man talking on his phone and a subtle quirk of her lips indicates amusement as she moves to join the people laying their mats on the floor.

"Welcome!" comes the peppy, enthusiastic voice from Dirk's side, like it apparated out of thin air. Sahara is there with the same warm smile as before. Her voice has honeyed, Southern notes to it, though it's certainly doesn't twang. "I'm Sahara, I'll be your instructor today. If it's not too much of a bother, 'Archie', I do ask everyone turn off their cell phones before we begin. Leave all the outside stress behind at the door, so to speak."

She's beaming that he and others have brought their own equipment with them! Such dedication, even for a beginning class. "So glad to have you with us, though! Once you get settled in, invite yourself on over to grab a bite before we begin. We've got tea, water, coffee, and a couple little things to snack on."

"Oh yeah, no problemo mamasita," is the reply the young lady receives for her trouble. No reply from Cooper means he's going to be missing out, it's no skin off Dirk's nose. The cell phone is dropped into the side pocket of the gym bag and is soon joined by his sweatpants and t-shirt.. socks… leaving him in his yoga clothes.

A pair of skin tight hotpants and nothing else.

His pasty white dadbod isn't as firm as some of the ladies. When he sits, there's a bit of loose flab that hangs over his waistband, the varicose veins behind his knees bulge like blue snakes under his skin. Pulling a tube out of the side pocket of his bag, he squirts a silver dollar's worth of oil into his palm and begins the ritual to make himself glisten. Spying the water drinking redhead watching him, he waggles his eyebrows at her. "I'll do your front if you do my back?" He won't even tell her boyfriend.

"Please replace your shirt. No shirt, no pants, no yoga." Sahara quips with the same beam as before before promptly leaving him to his business and heading back for the refreshment table. She pauses as she sees Megan, circling back.

"Hi, I'm not sure we've been introduced yet," she offers her hand out to the older woman, like nothing odd had happened moments before at the front of the studio. After all, that's pushed out of mind. A later problem to ugh about over wine! And definitely not here. "I'm Sahara, I'll be leading the class today. Is this your first time here?"

A single brow rises further and Megan Young bites her tongue before it can blister the layer of pasty white skin right off that youngling. Taking the proffered hand, she offers her name to Sahara as well as a cordial, "Very nice to meet you. No, it's not — I've done yoga for a good while now. This is just the only class that fits my schedule today." Hence why she's in a beginner class. "I rather enjoy the company, generally." She smiles at Sahara. "Thank you for allowing me to sit in."

The instructor is given a look of disbelief and slowly, Dirk tugs a small tank top from his bag and slips into it. "Judgy," he mutters, no longer living la vida loca or for this class.

While he tucks his tube away, he thumbs quickly over the screen of his phone.

nvm… buzzkill
they hate my outfit and no 🍩
worst class ever

Then he slips the phone back and slides his mat away from the front of the class. His eyes flit to the door and the gears are obviously turning in his head about how quickly he can make an exit.

"Ahhh, that makes sense why I've not seen you before, then!" Sahara coos fondly, shaking Megan's hand firmly before stepping back. The paper cup in her hand is rotated, even though that's not necessary, and she takes a quick sip since it's cooled some. "I normally only teach beginner classes here at Mattitude. It's nice though — get to see lots of new faces, even if they're not permanent fixtures."

"Well, make yourself comfortable here!" She starts to finish heading back toward the refreshments with those parting words. "Nothing like getting back to basics." From there, Sahara downs the rest of the fragrant peppermint tea and tosses the small cup in the trash. "All right, everyone, if you could please make your way to your mats, we'll get started here in just a moment!"

The group of people still milling and chatting all disperse, heading to find their own space. "Anywhere is fine, so long you can clearly see me up front. If you need to move up some, don't feel shy about coming up closer!" As everyone settles in, Sahara moves for the large wooden door to slide it shut, glancing over her shoulder for a final headcount. She smiles to herself as she overhears some giddy laughs from a group of college-age girls who clearly all came together.

"Have a seat on your mats and sit however is most comfortable for you. Indian style, legs out front, doesn't matter; just so long as you're sitting. I want you to take where you've been today and where you're going after this, all those pesky outside thoughts, and put them aside. Leave them back with your shoes and your bags, put it all out of mind entirely. Take a few deep breaths to help clear it all out." For effect, as she walks through the rows, she takes in an audibly deep breath herself and exhales it out, hands sweeping along with the motion. Her pace is measured and calm. "Yoga isn't about just going through the motions with your body, it's about feeling it as you go, about fusing each movement with your breath. A lot of these poses we're going to try today will stretch you both body and soul."

Clapping her hands together, she beams again. "I want to stress that none of this should strain you. We'll be moving at one pace together, but if you need to modify any stretches due to discomfort, just reach out and let me know what you need. I'm happy to make sure each and every one of you are comfortable. Those blocks by your mats are there to help you get up and down if you need them." Sahara sweeps a stray hair from her face as she looks out over the rows. "We're going to have a lot of fun today, guys, I can feel it. Does anybody have any questions before we get started?"

Well, she has no questions. Megan finds herself next to Dirk — and silently reflects that this ought to be really entertaining if nothing else. Settling onto her mat, she can't help it. She has to find the amusement in his attitude because if you don't laugh, what're you gonna do? Be annoyed? It's totally not worth it.

Crossing her legs and sitting up straight, Megan closes her eyes and takes several deep, centering breaths to get started. She opens one at Dirk and says softly, "Don't hurt yourself. With the oil on your hands, you could slip." It's just a nice reminder to be careful!

"I know how to get rid of lotion on my hands," Dirk replies with a wide grin, flashing his teeth. The greasy handprints on his tank top are pointed out, "you wipe them on nature's napkin." Because the first statement is usually one that needs to be corrected… dirty minds. Still he sits his rear end down on his mat and begins a slow stretch without the leadership from the head of the class.

Leaning over, he whispers to Megan, "So I was totally wrong about what kind of yoga this is… do you know of any hot studios around? I like a workout and I'm trying to impress this lady at the office."

After answering a pair of questions from an older gentleman and one of the giggling college students, Sahara nods briskly both to herself and everyone else. "Before we head into any poses, let's work through a few stretches first… we'll open up some tension in the arms, shoulders, and hips." she states, in the process of sitting down herself to demonstrate the stretches and hold them along with the rest of the class. It was important to practice what you preached, after all!

Megan blinks at him, both brows shooting up. She is hard-pressed not to laugh. "Uhm…. no, sorry. I'm afraid I really have no idea where you might find hot yoga." She's not even entirely sure she knows what hot yoga is…. is it what she's thinking it is??? OMG.

Dirk doesn't even try to hide the disappointment on his face as Megan answers. She gets a weak smile for her effort, not one of his more snide ones, and then he turns his attention to the front again. Because he has to, not because he wants to. Despite being somewhat bad at most skill requiring things, yoga is not one of them. There's a reason why he wanted to be at the front of the class and staring at the figures in the mirror wasn't one of them, staring at his own form is.

Beginner class or not, he manages to twist himself into some of the more complex iterations of whatever is being led, elaborating where he finds the rest of the class lacking. While the rest of the class takes a child's pose, he flourishes in crane.

Sahara's pushing herself to her feet while everyone finishes the last of the stretches, including the simple child's pose to ease them into starting learning a flow of poses. It's easy to observe the various skill levels all visible as they've worked so far, and she cants her head slightly to one side as she considers altering their schedule. It's definitely a mixed bunch here today! But best of all, it doesn't look like anyone's using her class to help meditate their way out of a nervous, SLC-E ability-induced meltdown. Everyone looks to be in a good headspace, nobody appears to have any major health issues she'll have to pause for … they're all ready to dive into the class.

"Slowly release that last stretch, and everybody come up to their feet now and then we'll jump right in! We're going to start with something I call the 'sun salute', or 'sun salutation'…"

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