Make Our Own Future


elaine2_icon.gif quinn3_icon.gif

Scene Title Make Our Own Future
Synopsis A seemingly happy dream gets a far different reaction when the dreamer awakens.
Date April 04, 2011

Village Renaissance Building: Elaine And Quinn's Flat

It's no longer Elaine's birthday when she wakes up.

Not her birthday, and certainly not any other special occasion. She sits up, letting herself settle from that dreamy half-awake stupor to full cognition as she pulls the blankets around herself and feels her arm brush against the sleeping figure at her side. She freezes, not because she's surprised or alarmed, but because the gentle brush causes her to think.

She's thinking about things she maybe doesn't want to think about.

Drawing her knees up towards her chest, Elaine huddles, back against the headboard of the bed, arms tightly wrapped around her legs as she bows her head, curling into the smallest, most compact she can make herself. It's only then that she allows herself a tiny sob of frustration.

The movement isn't enough to draw Robyn Quinn from her sleep, but the sob is enough to get her to stir. She doesn't recognise what the sound is, instead she rolls over to where Elaine should be, half conciously reaching over to drape an arm around the other woman's sleeping form.

Except, the other woman's sleeping form isn't there,

Not really at least. Instead, Quinn's arm brush down Elaine's curled up legs, a hand settling down on her foot. Well, now, that's a bit curious, a single one of Quinn's eyes opening, the world fuzzy for several moments as her eyes adjust to waking up and to the darkness around them. "Elaine?" she inquires sleepily, the hand moving back to reach for the redhead's leg.

The redhead glances down through the darkness to the tired Quinn, smiling slight at how adorable her girlfriend can be while sleepy. However there are other things on her mind. Things she's not even sure how to put into words.

"I don't know how I am supposed to feel," Elaine whispers, her eyes fixating on her knees to stare at them as if they were what she was talking to. "H-How can I possibly feel anything and not have it somehow be wrong?"

"Wh-what?" is a sleepy and confused response from Quinn, the musician sitting up a bit as she rubs her eyes. Unable to keep a yawn down, she waits a moment before she sits the rest of the way up, back against the headboard and a hand reached out to about where she thinks the taller woman's shoulder is.

She heard the words, but she's not quite awake enough that they all processed properly. The tone, however, was enough to tell her something's wrong, and as her vision adjusts and Elaine's outline becomes clearer, that acts a s a bigger hint. "What's up, dear?"

Her shoulder is found in the darkness, and Elaine permits herself to scoot a little closer to Quinn. It takes her a full minute to really respond, a slight shift of movement from Elaine's form allowing Quinn to see she hadn't dozed off. Finally, when she speaks, the words are pretty simple.

"Had another dream."

That’s when the lights come on. Well, more accurately, that's when Quinn lights up the room, a small spherical ball of light forming in the photokinetic’s lap, listing lazily in Elaine's general direction. It's light enough that Elaine can easily see the worry on Quinn's face, if she chooses to look, but not enough light to hurt either of their eyes. Her first instinct is to asked what happened. But from Elaine's reaction, another question comes first.

'Are you okay?"

The answer seems obvious enough, but she's worried. It doesn't hurt to ask. "Do you want t talk about it?"

"No," Elaine answers as soon as Quinn asks. The second question causes the redhead to shift in bed a little, unsure of what answer to give. "It's not a bad dream. I mean, no one dies or anything but it's bad- I mean to say that-" She hesitates. "It's a happy dream, it's just bad because that's… I-"

Her voice cracks, just a little. "It is not how I thought things would go."

Now Quinn's kind of confused. Maybe because she hasn't woken up yet, maybe because she doesn't exactly understand the whole "happy-but-sad" idea. Sliding up close to Elaine, a hand is rested on her opposite shoulder, starting to comfort her in an attempt to get her to open up a bit, literally and figuratively.

"I don't understand," she decides to voice, looking increasingly qworried as she moves from no to no how things would go. "T' be fair, none of these dreams have been how I thought anythin' would go."

"These dreams can't be the future, Quinn," Elaine murmurs, trying to wrap her head around things. "They can't be. Because this isn't how it goes. Maybe it was- maybe it was a potential future but things have happened that make it… I mean, it's impossible. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense because… it just doesn't."

Ooookay. Now on top of worried, Quinn is dreadfully curious. "With any luck, it's not the future," Quinn replies, seeming more awake now. "I don't want t' live in a future like the ones I've seen. It's too… ugh." She shakes her head, hand moving to scratch the side of Elaine's head. "What's impossible, though?"

There's at least one more reason for Quinn to not like this future. The redhead leans in against her girlfriend's shoulder, shutting her eyes. "I just… things have happened and I don't see how this could possibly be the future. I don't… I don't see," Elaine murmurs. She moves, one of her hands taking Quinn's free hand. Sliding her fingers between the other woman's, she murmurs, "I got married. Saw my wedding." That's not so impossible, but the next murmur has Elaine's voice cracking again as tears well up. "T-To Sable."

For the most part, Quinn is just listening and nodding as Elaine talks. Her hand presses against Elaine's cheek as she leans against her shoulder, hand squeezing Elaine's as it's taken, and she just listens. A wedding, that really doesn't sound to bad. In fact, it brings a pretty wide smile to Quinn's face.

It doesn't last.

In fact, Quinn kind of… freezes when she hears to her. Her brain just goes full stop, like it foesn't really want to process past that part. She blinks. "Wha…what?" This time, when she says it, it's far more serious sounding than the sleepy muttering made earlier.

That reaction is not one that makes Elaine comfortable. Not really. She stiffens a little, arms hugging her knees closer. "I didn't realize it right away, that it was her. Felt so real but so… surreal. I don't know why, Quinn. And I don't think it can be the future because she left. She left and you told me you loved me and that changed everything. So it can't be the real future because she's with Dee and I'm with you. It doesn't make sense for it to be real in any way, how could it possibly…" She trails off.

"I… don't know," Quinn replies, and not she has a tone to her voice not unlike Elaine's. The light she had been radiating dims and vanishes in a second's time, the Irishwoman hoping to hide the frown that sits on her face. She doesn't want to entertain the thought that these are supposed to be the future anymore. But what else could it be, after everything else they've seen. "You think… maybe this dream was just a dream?" Because that's so much better, right?

Elaine's head bows, a deep breath inhaled as she calms whatever feelings are welling up inside of her. "I'm not sure. I can ask Juniper if she had any dreams, she was there, it felt like this was one of those ones from the future but… now I'm not so sure. I don't see how things could change that much. It's… it's too much of a change. Too big. If these are related to the future, maybe they're just potential futures. Maybe this is a clue… this future can't happen because maybe this future didn't have us like this. So maybe this just means… maybe this just means we need to find something to change. Maybe one little thing is all it takes and the future is different. I just don't… I don't see how things could change so much from where we are now. I could see the shitty things that have been mentioned before, but this… it just seems so… impossible to me."

Quinn fidgits a bit, looking off in teh opposite direction of Elaine. "We make our own future," Quinn says quietly. "That's why I don't like this bullshit. But I don't like it even more now that it's telling me that I won't be with the woman I love." There is a palatable sense of frustration to Quinn's voice when she speaks. "I don't know. I don't know why we'd be shown somethin' that's not going t' happen. Everyone seems t' be jumping on this message from the future train, an' even if we’re supposed t' be changin' somethin' I don't like this. I don't like it at all." There's a moment of silence, several of them, before Quinn speaks again. "But what if we're not? What if… this is just some person’s way of tellin' us t' prepare?"

The redhead freezes, Elaine's eyes trying to focus on Quinn, and focus hard. Not seeing the other woman meet her gaze, she reaches a hand to try and turn Quinn to look at her. "You just said we make our own future. If we can do that, then maybe we can make a different future. We already have. I'm not planning on breaking up with you, Quinn. I don't plan on marrying Sable. I don't even know if I can forgive her for all the hurt she did to me. I don't think I ever can. It isn't something that is going to eventually happen no matter what!"

Quinn hadn't realised the contradiction she had given just a moment ago, and having it pointed out makes her wrinkle her nose. She doesn't look back, at least, not until a hand attempts to force her to. It might be hard to make out, but Quinn wears a somewhat dejected expression on her face. Thankfully, it fades a little, the corner of her mouth upturned back into a hint of a smile. Which is good, because it prevents her from spouting out the first stupid thing that had come to mind as a response.

"I hope that's the case," she says quietly, before her eyes drift off to the side. "It just… it makes me sad, to think that… that's even a possibility. I guess. I don't know." A hand reaches up, rubbing her face. "I just don't like this. It makes me worry. I know I shouldn't. I don't want to. But…"

"It's not a possibility, Quinn! That's exactly the point. I don't see any way, any possible way that I could ever leave you for her. I don't want you to think it's a possibility. The only possibility, Quinn, is that this whole dream crap? That it's just a future that could have been. I'm sure we stopped this from happening. Maybe in this future I never went back to Scotland. Maybe in this future Sable left Dee when I broke up with Magnes. I don't know. I don't know, Quinn. I don't know anything about this," Elaine says, releasing her legs and turning her full body so she can sit on her knees and face Quinn fully. "Look Quinn, no matter what happens, this was just a dream. It isn't what is going on right now. Look at me. I'm right here with you. Look at me right now, Robyn Quinn, and tell me that you believe that I love you and that I want to stay with you. Tell me."

"I don't doubt it," though is a surprisingly strained comment from Quinn, more out of frustration than anything else. Elaine's hand prevents her from looking away, so she makes no effort to divert her gaze from Elaine as she looks in eyes. "I know that you love me. I know you want t' stay with me. An' I love you, Elaine, with all of my heart…" And barely, just barely, Quinn keeps herself from adding a but to that statement. "I… I just…" She closes her eyes, a hand rising to cover them. "I don't know. I hurts to think about." Which to her feels a bit inexplicable. It's not like they were planning on getting married. Not any time soon, at least.

"Promise me something?" she asks after a few moments. "Don't say anythin' t' Sable or Dee. They don't need t' have this discussion. We shouldn’t be havin' this discussion." …And Quinn would never, ever admit it, but there's a part of her that doesn't want Sable to know what she's missing. In case second thoughts occur.

Elaine might have answered Quinn's request, had it not been proceeded by Quinn's previous comments. She releases Quinn in favour of wrapping her arms back around her knees, swallowing hard. "It's not like I cheated on you, Quinn. It's not like I'm gonna run out tomorrow and go elope with Sable. Love, Sable wasn't even on the radar. Sable is with Delilah. This didn't happen and there is no reason to believe that this will happen, do you understand? We have no proof. People have shared dreams like this, sure, but that doesn't mean someone's not fucking with us." One of her hands reaches up to rub her head. "Do trust me?"

Quinn looks long at hard at Elaine, not moving even once the redhead stops preventing her from doing so. It takes a moment, but slowly a hand reaches out, light glowing from it as she searches out Elaine's closer hand, trying to take it in hers.

"I know you didn't. I just… I know it's- something that doesn’t have to be anymore. But the thought of all the pain we've gone through in the last month, the thought of it meaning nothing? It scares me. But I trust you, Elaine Darrow. If I have my way? I imagine someday it'll be me in that dream. Not Sable. I can hope, at least."

A pause, and Quinn wrinkles her nose. "God, I hope I don't have anymore of the stupid dreams. I can't handle this stuff."

"Quinn, it means everything. Just to be happy like this right now, everything we've gone through is worth it, isn't it?" Elaine takes Quinn's hand, but she's unable to keep from being a little teary-eyed. "No matter what happens, it has always been worth it, so don't you make any less of this. And if you really want that to be you, Quinn, then don't you dare give up hope on me, okay? Don't you just give up on me."

Quinn's eyes close, the Irishwoman's head angling down as Elaine speaks. Which might seem like an admission of defeat, but the light shining from her hand makes it each enough to see a smile keeping on her face, small and soft. But there regardless. She squeezes Elaine's hand, choking out a laugh as she looks up at the other woman. "I'm scared, worried. But it takes more than that t' make me give up on you, Elaine. I… I have you here, an' I'm going t' do everything I can t' keep you. That's not going t' change, no matter what dreams show us." Her eyes open, and she slides up closer to the other woman. "I've said before I see a future with you. One dream isn't going to change that. I just… I don't like even thinking of the possibility, after everything that's happened. It's scary."

Wrapping her arms around Quinn, Elaine tugs the other woman close. "That'll be us, someday," she murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Quinn's head. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. That it's confusing. That it makes me feel uneasy to go from a dream where everything felt natural and right back to reality where the very thing that felt right just doesn't work. God, it feels weird. If I'd had this dream a couple of months ago… things would be different. I'd feel different about all this, but… things change. They change every day, and no one can make us do anything we don't want to, Quinn. We'll stick it out. Right now, let's just chalk it up to a 'bad dream' and leave it at that. I wanna see if I can hunt down Juniper cause she was there, see if she saw anything, and Kaylee to let her know about it."

"If we're lucky, that's all it is," Quinn remarks, rephrasing her earlier statement. "Yeah… things change…." The way she trails off says the statement that proceeded that fact, even though she knows it's true, doesn't entirely sit well with her. But she doesn't press at it, for the moment. "I think Juniper's on Pollepel. I know Kaylee's coming in t' town…. Elaine. I wouldn't head out there right now. Wait for Kaylee to come home. Have you heard about all the shit goin' down? About Elisabeth Harrison," a name Elaine should be very familiar with by now, "has been terminated from FRONTLINE because of ties to "terrorist activity"? An' Ygraine… shit's just not safe at the moment."

Elaine gives a little nod. "I won't head to Pollepel. If Kaylee's coming to town, I can always have her ask Juniper when she goes back…" She does seem a little surprised when she hears about Liz. "Do… do you think she'd betray the Ferry? I feel like that's what she did. To piss everyone off, in that dream I mean. Something as bad as that." She shrugs a little, then leans her head on Quinn's shoulder. "I'm not gonna do something stupid. There's lots of shit going on, and I plan on staying here and staying safe with you. I'm not going anywhere."

"Please don't," is said quietly, hopefully. "Please don't ever go anywhere." The sudden change to a low, helpless sounding voice is unexpected even by Quinn - a moment of raw emotion she was trying to keep down showing through. She swallows hard, nodding at Elaine. "I don't know if she would. Maybe now she can't. Who knows. But if she ends up with the Ferry, I might try an' find her, talk t' her. Maybe. The idea still sort of scares me." A good attempt at changing the subject, maybe.

Elaine's arms tighten around Quinn, squeezing. The emotion makes her wish she could somehow squeeze tighter, to make the other woman understand just how there she was. "They'd have to drag me away kicking and screaming for me to go anywhere without you right there with me, Quinn. I love you." She presses a kiss to Quinn's cheek. "I don't know how these dreams figure in but… she's a big part of this. It's hard to ignore that. It scares me a lot too. Worrying about it right now isn't going to help anyone, though. Especially not us. God, I don't even know what time it is…"

Quinn hasn't looked at a clock, nor does she desire to. Instead, she just squeezes Elaine tight, burying her face against the other woman. "I'm tired of talking about the future," she says with an exasperated tone. It's too god damn depressing. Even the one happy dream I've heard about makes me want t' cry. I am so over this whole feckin' thing. If I ever find out who's doin' this, or if I ever meet a time traveller, I'm going t' punch them, I think."

Fingers running through Quinn's hair, Elaine can't help but laugh. "The future's pretty shitty… but we don't have to worry about it. And if you need to cry… cry. I almost did. I almost didn't wanna tell you, couldn't just keep it, though. I'd rather you know than for me to lie to you and say nothing happened." She lets out a long sigh. "We'll both punch the damn time traveller, I think. Seriously. No one's got the right to muddle in people's lives like this."

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