Matthew 15:24


abby_icon.gif brian_icon.gif

Scene Title Matthew 15:24
Synopsis But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Date January 11, 2009

Basement of Old Lucy's

The white door of the 91 Dodge closes after Brian took the overly long time to parallel park then cut the ignition. The paint is very faded on the poor thing and most of it is gray rather than white. Doing one last check over his shoulder to make sure its locked he tucks his keys into his pockets then his hands into his coat as he makes his way towards the bar.

It's late afternoon, and Brian is headed for Old Lucy's. He's wearing a thick green coat and a military style green cap. A pair of converse that don't have any laces and a long cross dangles around his neck. "Don't let me mess this up, Father." He whispers quietly.

Brians heading in, but Abby's heading out. The alleyway and the emergency exit as well as the double door to the basement are all open and the blonde haired baptist Brian might be looking for is currently stacking crates of full beet and other drinks outside the door and heading back down. Stocking the shelves so to speak.

"Abby." Brian calls out as his gray eyes fall upon the girl. His hands remain in his coat pockets as his pace slows, walking towards her. "You okay?" He asks softly, tilting his head a bit. Concern is on his features, though he stops plenty of feet short of the young woman.

She stops halfway down the stairs, only her head and the tips of her shoulders seen as she swivels her head towards the voice. "Brian" Well. She had been thinking of talking to him. "Stocking shelves. Little cold" She only had a thin cardigan on. "you?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Other than pulling out a gun in Central Park on a woman. Or all that other junk. You know. I'm okay." He says, shaking his head a little bit with a faint grin. He takes a few steps forward, rolling his head back on his shoulders. "Listen.. We should talk."

"Who sent you brian?" Someone sent him. "I told them i'd be there. They don't have to worry about Sylar coming for my head between now and then. He agreed to leave me be" She doesn't come up, just stays where she is, digging her own hands into her own pockets.

"No one sent me Abby." Brian says in a kind of chiding voice, shaking his head like it was a ridiculous thing to say. "I came because we have a problem and I want to work it out." He explains, trying to hide his agitation.

"We do. I'm not married to you. I'm not someone to be put on a leash Brian. Ordered around like.. a.. dog" She slips her hands from out of her pockets, pulling the sleeves down to cover her hands and wrap them around her. "Come on down Brian, before I freeze my rear off. Isabelle's seducing a customer inside and I can spare some time, but come on downstairs so I can close the doors and stay warm"

Giving a little sigh, Brian gives a reluctant nod. He's already regretting his decision. Help me God. Give me patience. The young man follows after her down the stairs, taking his hands out of his jacket pockets.

Once Brian's down, and Abby's called into the bar for Isabelle to fetch the beer, the doors are clanged shut and she turns to face brian. SHe sits down on the steps arms still wrapped around herself to conserve warmth. "I'm listening"

He gives a little sigh. "I'm trying real hard here. Okay? I want to make things right with you? But little comments like that don't exactly make me feel like I can open up to you okay? I don't order you around like a dog, and of course we're not married. Wow Abby, thanks for telling me that one, I was unaware!" He says sarcastically, shaking his head a little bit. It's not venomous not meant to cause malice, just his way of expressing himself, defending himself.

"And little things like rebuking me in front of others, telling them to take me away and take care of me isn't a way to make things right Brian" Abby reaches up, yanking on her ponytail after running her hands through the blonde hair.

"That's why I'm here now." Brian says levelly punctuating every word. God she makes apologizing difficult. His own mind screaming to just leave. Brian goes to take a seat next to her anyway.

She doesn't move, despite some little inward want to. Just sighs. Sighs and reaches over to pass Brian a beer from one of the crates.

Bringing up one dismissive hand he shakes his head. "No thanks." He lets out quietly, tilting his head back. "Listen Abby. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I told you to get away from Eileen. I was thinking of your safety above everything Abby. I'm always just trying to care about you Abby. I'm trying to protect you. And.. Yeah. I know what you're going to say. Something about a bird in a cage, or a dog on a leash. Whatever Abby. Fact is, you've gotten in a lot of trouble. I just want to keep you safe, to not have to worry about you every single day. If you're going to hate me for that, then so be it." Brian says softly as if it is hard for him to speak.

"Then you have two more weeks of worrying about me Brian" She slides the beer back to rest with it's brothers and sister in cardboard bondage.

"What are you talking about?" Brian asks, arching a brow at her cryptic words. He wasn't expecting that short of an answer. A little sigh comes out. This is hard for him.

"In two weeks, Sylar is coming for me, minimum, or.." Abby shrugs. "Kazimir. Helena came to me for healing, said that I was needed. With her group for whatever is going to happen. Kazimir's touch brings death, mine brings life. Do the math" It's not spoken snarkily, just laid out, quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Brian asks, really having no idea what's going on. He peers at her intensely out the side of his glance. She was on a team with him in the plan thingy. Hmm.

"Nothing, never mind. I had a deal with Sylar, to have two weeks without him banging on my door. He won't be coming within those two week to take my gift. No matter how much other people will say otherwise. He won't. Brian, I admire, that you want to protect me, that you make it your duty and your job and your desire and need, but… Stuff is going to happen, and no matter how you want it not to, it will. You were there on Christmas eve, or on new years eve. If you had been there, they still would have happened and then you'd have been hurt. But it's five times I've met Sylar now and five times that god's let me walk away"

Well this isn't what he was expecting to talk about. His brows go high. "That is so fatalistic Abby." Brian comments quietly. "Bad things aren't just going to happen if you make good decisions. Careful decisions. They just happen, because you're not being careful and you're not listening to people. Like me."

"I am fatalistic Brian. And you need to accept that. I believe that things will happen for a reason, that they do happen for a reason. That god has some tricky plan for us all. Whether I make good decision or bad decision. If I hadn't gone with wu-long to heal Eileen, what would have happened? Brian.. I…" Abby shakes her head. "I don't see things like you do, there is no black, and there is no white. No right and no wrong. Only what I'm supposed to do. And I do listen. you all assume that I don't listen, that I don't use my brain, that it all goes in one ear and out the other" Abby stands then, starting to search for what else she was looking for down here. "You all think that when in fact I am listening, but i'm still doing what is the proper route, in my mind and in my heart, for me"

"Abby." Brian says as calmly he can manage. "Fatalism is against our faith." He explains delicately. "It goes against biblical teachings." He goes to stand to match Abby now. "Don't tell me how I see things. And what are you talking about no right and wrong? I don't know if you're trying to write a script for a TV show, but yeah, Abby, there is a right and there is a wrong." Brian says crisply shaking his head in disbelief. "Stop talking to me as 'you all'. Do you know how condescending that is? You make people feel like shit, Abby. You heal physically, sure, but you scar the hell out of me emotionally." He protests, frowning deeply.

"God has a plan. How is that wrong? To believe that he has a road for me and I'm walking down it? To know that the road ends at some point Brian? That along that road there are things supposed to happen and for good reason. How do you explain the people like Eve who can see the future? Who can predict events that will happen. Is that against out religion? To believe that?" This case, that case are carted to near him and the steps to be taken upstairs. "For me, for me there is no right or wrong when it comes to what I do. To laying my hands on a person. Whether it's in a room filled with people who would rather attack me than barter with me to come and heal someone, or to heal a bullet wound after someone shot you. I'm sorry that my actions do that to you, I really am. So tell me what to do, what I can do to stop you from hurting when it comes to me, that doesn't include hiding me out and keeping me from doing what I need to do, what god needs me to do"

"God doesn't need you!" Brian yells. His raised voice practically shattering his composure of before. "That's the thing Abby! You've got to be one of the most proud people I have ever met! You hide behind this innocent little girl routine, but you're in it! You can't fix everything! You can't heal everyone!! You have no discretion! And you won't listen to me right now because you're always right, damnit! You always do the right thing? Don't you!?" It's like a bomb exploding. This tirade was a long time in the coming. "There is a right and a wrong Abby. For you, for everyone. And until you realize that you're not always right, people around you are going to keep getting hurt." He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself.

'Why can't I Brian? Why can't I heal everyone? Why give me this gift, why give me this ability, this precious ability and tell me I can't heal people? What's wrong with healing everyone?" The case of beer is slapped down, her hands still on the plastic handles of the crate their in. "I'm not some innocent little girl, I'm a full grown woman who accepts the consequences of her actions. What I do isn't always right, I know it isn't always right or make sense to others, but I do the best I can Brian. I don't ask for.. I don't.." Abby turns away from Brian, one hand coming up, the back of her palm pressed ot the underside of her nose. "You don't understand Brian" Said quietly after a few moments. "I need to heal everyone, I need to.. I need to make the world better, by making the world better, I make myself better and there's so much pain in the world and I can take that away. I can make those people better, make them hurt less and maybe by doing that, it'll change them, and it'll change how they see the world"

"No Abby. You're wrong." Brian says levelly. "People die. Abby. We're put here for a reason. Even Jesus Christ didn't heal everyone Abby. Our God. If you've forgotten, He sets plans. For all your words Abby, you work against Him. You're not in this for furthering God's message, for furthering His love. You're in it for making yourself feel good about yourself. And that's fine. Do it, whatever! But don't tell me you're trying to do as God has made you, cause you're not! God doesn't need you Abigail. God never needed you, He allows you to serve Him because He loves you." He says, delivering every word. Conviction in his voice. "You're not God, Abby. Stop pretending like it." The young man straightens his jacket, starting to turn back up towards the stairs.

She's not god. Even she knows it. And people do die. Even she's met people that no matter how hard she prayed, what she could give, was never enough. "He healed Brian. He healed everyone, regardless of whether they believed in him or not because it was about his faith not about everyone elses. He brought back the dead, and he gave sight to the blind, make the paralyzed walk" It's spoke, quietly. "But i'm not god, and I'm not his son and I can't bring back the dead. I'm just Abigail. Abigail who can't save everyone no matter how much she wants to. Stupid abigail who believes in a better world and a seed of good in nearly everyone." She's on the edge of tears and then beyond as the salty liquid spills over her eyelids. Her lips pressed together.

Brian turns around slowly, sympathy coming on to his face. His heart breaking for her. He moves forward, his arms spreading. He goes to embrace her, to bring her close. To apologize, to comfort her. To tell her it will all be okay and he will watch out for her, no matter what. To kiss her cheek and wipe away her tears.

Only, that's not what happens.

His back to her, his mouth opens. "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." A shaky breath is taken. "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." Brian wets his lips before taking a step up the stairs. Even though it goes against the screaming in his head to go comfort her, he ignores it. He ignores the pain as he makes his way up the stairs. And he doesn't say what creeps around his heart. I love you, Abby.

The last sound that Brian hears when he heads out the cellar doors, away from Old Lucy's and it's bartenders is the sound of a beer bottle smashing and the sound of it's contents splashing to the floor not anywhere near the stairs.

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