Medical Student Arrested For Defying Registration
Date August 30 & 31, 2010
Relevant Logs A Tiny Prick, One of Them

Department of Evolved Affair officials recently arrested twenty-year-old NYU medical student Delia Ryans at a police station in New Jersey after she made arrangements with former Officer Tam Finnley to register her as Non-Evolved. Ryans purportedly paid Finnley one thousand dollars to falsify her test results - a transaction said to be on the low end of the spectrum for such a deal.

Her arrest is not the first of its kind, but now that her father, former Homeland Security Agent Benjamin Ryans, is wanted for treason and Officer Finnley has officially entered his guilty plea, her misstep is beginning to draw attention from the media. What is it about the process that drives otherwise law-abiding citizens to such lengths to evade it? Stephane Winters, a counselor at NYU, cited the fear some students have that being labeled as Evolved may, "affect their hireability or chances at success." She went on to say that some unregistered students have told her they're afraid the government might start monitoring them if they are discovered to be Evolved.

Senior Analyst for the DoEA's Resettlement Projects Georgia Mayes weighed in on the incident early yesterday, going so far as to say, "Anti-Registry sentiment works to distort the truth and encourage young people to break the law, and those who are outspoken critics of the Registry are as much to blame for these incidents as those that are caught."

"It's a shame," she said. "The Department will be working hard to spread some awareness about the Registry and its function in an attempt to abolish these fever-dream notions about why it's so important to cheat it."

It's unclear what motivated Ryans to take the steps she did, but an agent with the FBI (who asked to remain anonymous) suggested that her father may have pressured her into trying to remain inconspicuous in light of his activities. Because Ryans plead guilty shortly after she was arrested and charged, no further action beyond the initial fine will be taken against her, but her situation should serve as a warning to other young Americans fearful of the the consequences of registering: being found out isn't worth it.

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