Missing Memories


claire2_icon.gif magnes2_icon.gif

Scene Title Missing Memories
Synopsis Claire and Magnes talk about missing memories and then he tells her something shocking!
Date January 12, 2010

USS George Washington

Arriving at Claire's room early in the evening, Magnes is playing around with the iPhone that was taken from him, mostly going through pictures. He knocks a few times, then looks back down at the screen. It's not in her view, he's not even sure he should show her, he seems to be in high spirits, smiling warmly. He's in another set of random NAVY-given clothes, a gray NAVY t-shirt, blue jeans and white sneakers. His white eyepatch seems to be a bit smaller, since he's healed a lot in the last week or so.

Sliding off her bunk, Claire leans over in the small room and simply opens the door. There is surprised expression on her face when the door swings open, brow lifting. "Magnes. Um… hello. Ah.." She glances around the room and pulls the desk chair out for him before she moves to sit on her bunk again. "Shut the door behind you." She murmurs as she tucks feet under her.

Closing the door behind him, he takes the chair and takes a seat across from her, staring for a moment before speaking up. "Just thought we could talk, about stuff. Like, not about the mission or even us, I mean unless you wanted to, just, stuff, y'know? To be perfectly honest, I'm trying to calm down before the mission starts. A lot's riding on me to not screw up, beyond wanting to prove that I'm not just some immature pizza boy anymore. Now the world depends on not screwing up…"

He shakes his head, pressing a few things on his iPhone before sitting it facedown in his lap. "I don't know, I just thought maybe we could talk about random stuff. My only friends on this ship, like, real friends, are you, Elisabeth, apparently Veronica, and Gillian, who I've known online for years but we only recently met. Cat's kind of a friend, but I think she swings inbetween business and friend, I don't know her too well. I've never liked Cardinal. I can work with him, he's even saved my life once, but, I just don't like him. I always feel like he's looking down on me."

He's apparently saying what his relationship to everyone is, mostly just casually explaining. "I used to speak to Gabriel, I had this idea that I could save him from his ability, but you told me not to go around him anymore, so I stopped. Though we had a fight in the engine room the other day, when I heard what he tried to do to you. It's my fault for thinking he could keep a promise. I was an idiot for ever giving him a chance, or believing that stupid vision from the future.

"Cardinal is the only one I remember.." Claire murmurs from the bunk, eyes lifting to Magnes after she started at her lap for a long moment listening. "I don't know why.. but it's only one or two things about him. But there are feelings and emotions when I see him." Her brows drop into a frown and eyes are almost distant as she tries to think back.

"I think of him much like and older brother." She explains, why she's worried about his thoughts on the matter, Claire doesn't know, but she does. "There is a feeling of family.. even thought he isn't." Her shoulders shrug. "Liz I've had to relearn… but I like her. Some one I know will have my back." A small smile on her lips, but we seem to work well together.

"And you are an idiot if you trusted Gabriel." Claire gives him a matter of fact look. "Though I admit I relaxed my guard some in Madagascar cause we were a team and we fught side by side.. So there I was an idiot."

"Even if I don't like Cardinal, I never thought he'd do anything bad to you, so I never minded you working with him. You guys do good work, I can't argue with that." Magnes smiles, apparently not bothered anymore by her only remembering him. He seems to have made some peace with the situation, so he's a lot less on edge or emotional. "I met Gabriel before I met you, the only things I knew about him, as a person, were from Eileen. I learned that how he is is largely because of some side effect of his power. I wanted to help him get over it, I really tried. He told me that someone went to the future, and saw that we were partners in SCOUT or something. That I'd hit rock bottom and he pulled me back up, he wasn't a serial killer anymore. But, he also told me that the future likely changed by now, that nothing's set in stone, and right now? I decided that I don't care if his power is an excuse. The fact is, he promised not to try and steal your power again, and he did it anyway. Moment of weakness my ass, the next time he tries it…"

He shakes his head, apparently not a happy camper about Gabriel right now, but quickly moves on. "Before I was dragged into the Company, well, at least before my memories stop, I was a pizza boy. I considered Hiro my mentor, he taught me a lot, but I got into lots of trouble because I was so inexperienced, I made a lot of stupid mistakes with my ability, like the Shibuya Incident. But I learned from it, and I also did a lot of good things with my ability, saved a lot of people… I just don't think I've proven to anyone that I've changed. I just didn't care, that didn't matter anymore. I believed in myself, you believed in me, public opinion is probably split on me, but as long as I did what I needed to do, as long as I tried my best and started acting responsibly, that was all I needed."

"I dunno what to tell you on that…. " Claire states softly, giving her head a slow shake. "There might have one time been a chance. But nothing is ever set in stone like you said. Everything we do to change the future changes everything else in it." She sighs softly, running fingers through her blond hair. "Just like the vision I was shown by a woman in Madagascar. It was a moment in time during the mission coming up. She said to succeed it must not happen… a series of choices that need to be made. I just wish.. I knew the choices."

She frowns a bit and studies Magnes thoughtfully, Claire asks…. "Have you warned any family or friends back home about what could come? I called my mom. Told her to take my brother… get my dad to take them camping." She leans back til her back bumps against the wall. "I hope they listen, but my family is pretty stubborn."

"Damn, I should really warn Delilah. I'm pretty sure Abby knows, there's always someone protecting her. My family… I have no idea where they are, they've been missing since the bomb, but they were out of town, so it beats me what exactly happened." Magnes shakes his head, likely going to warn a bunch of people later on. "I'll call my speedster contact, she's nice, she'll take care of things."

He reaches down for his iPhone, then holds it over to her. It's on a fairly sizable photo gallery in his phone. "But uh, on that thought, about if things do go wrong, I thought I'd let you look through these pictures, just, stuff we did. I only recently got my phone back, and I thought this is possibly the closest to giving you some of your memories I'll come to. I don't even have pictures to remember what I forgot, but I remember conversations. So, you can have images, even without the conversations."

He clicks on one of the galleries, and it's the time they dressed up in fancy clothes and snuck on a cruise ship. "That day, I said 'We should just spend the day on a cruise', and I don't think you thought I was serious, but we got dressed up, and I flew you around until I found one." He laughs at the situation, sitting back after handing her the phone.

Leaning over, Claire reaches for the phone taking it carefully, giving him an odd look. Glancing down at the phone, brows drop as she looks at a moment frozen in time. It is her looking out at her from the phone, but there is nothing, not a spark of memory.

"We did that?" Claire sounds almost disapproving of herself, the phone cradled in one hand, "I actually consented to do something like that?" She almost sounds disbelieving, but the proof is in her hand. A finger slides slowly making the next photo slide on the screen. A picture of them so happy and kissing while trying to get that picture at the same time. Her breath catches and she suddenly looks completely guilty.

The phone is handed back quickly, her head turning away a bit. Clearing her throat she wiggles the phone at him as to say 'hurry up and take it.' "I'm… not ready. I… just… can't."

"Hey, it's alright, I'm not worried about 'us' right now, Claire, I just thought it'd help you." Magnes tries to sound reassuring, being patient as he takes the phone back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, I honestly thought it'd make you feel better, having some memories, even if they're not things you can actually remember. I've been trying to think of how I felt when I got my memories taken, and I remember often thinking 'I at least wish I could remember their faces'."

There is a moment of silence from Claire as she closes her eyes and works to get her emotions under control again. "You didn't hurt me." She finally says in a strained voice, still not looking at him. "I'm just not ready to learn what I've lost.. The loss is too new… too fresh." She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I just wish I could remember anything at all." Claire states blandly as well. "Even the smallest bit of emotion… it's a big gaping hole."

"It's alright, Claire. Someone really wise told me that a big gaping hole, like the one in both our heads, can be filled with new things, instead of dwelling on the past." Magnes slides the phone back into his pocket, leaning forward as he rests his arms just over his knees. "The things you did before, they happened, you can't remember them, you can't feel it, but they happened. I know it hurts that none of it is in your head anymore, but you know what? Everyone else remembers, you have so many people who care about you, so many people willing to tell you about your life, and help you through this. You don't have to try to be old Claire, you don't have to think of her as you being gone. Five months is a long time to lose, yeah, but in another five months? You'll have new memories, new friends, and all this stuff we're going through will just seem like a nightmare."

Sitting up again, he stretches his arms, yawning slightly. "Besides, in those five months, you were mostly with me or Cardinal, and you remember him, that's something. Hold on to that. You're alive, if you got out with every a shred of memory, that's more than most people can ever hope for, because, well, they'll never be back. Me? I'm happy you're alive, I'm happy I can talk to you. There might be an empty void where your memories and emotions of the past five months are gone, but I'll help you fill that void, your mother will help you, Cardinal, Elisabeth, Cat, Helena… We're all there for you, memories or not."

"If we have another five months," Claire's voice is bitter, eyes studying him. "Who knows what is going to happen when we hit the land of eternal ice." She easily uses the terms told to her. "And I know they will help me.. Cardinal is going to remind me why I was working with him and I imagine others will remind me too.. but I have to relearn all my allies that I made recently.." She gives a frustrated sigh. "Anyhow… I appreciate you trying to show me the pictures… but I'm going to need more time before I'm ready."

"It's alright, Claire. I just wanna be there to help you. I resolved to stop sulking and worrying about myself, and to focus on making you feel better. I'm not gonna be a selfish and immature jerk who only worries about himself." Magnes goes silent for a few minutes, leaning back in his chair, then just suddenly says, "You know, Michael Jackson died. Not kidding you at all." He may as well tell her something completely unbelievable but isn't personal. Get her mind off her problems!

The look Claire gives Magnes is a shocked one. "Bullshit! Micheal Jackson did not die!" That seems rather impossible to her.

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