Mordor Blackberries


jezebel_icon.gif tony_icon.gif

Scene Title Mordor Blackberries
Synopsis Jezebel and Tony finally get some planting done.
Date March 30, 2009

The Garden

Out by the boundary wall, thin oaks, maples and the occasional dogwood are all of what's there. The boundary wall itself is six feet high, made of brick. The driveway leads towards the house, which can be a bit tricky to spot even in winter.

It's a lovely spring day at last. The air is reasonably warm. The wind is cut off by the boundary wall and the trees, allowing serious work out here.

Jezebel is out by the wall with all sorts of gardening implements, potted blackberry bushes, water, a wheelbarrow full of compost and a lawn chair.

Tony looks unconvinced, but he's out there, nonetheless, rolling up his sleeves.

Jezebel smiles at Tony. "Okay, here's the drill. We'll dig a hole deep enough for the bush, which should be quick. Then we'll put a little compost in the bottom. I'll water the bush to get it out of this stupid black plastic pot, then we'll plant it, water it and make it grow thorns."

Tony grumbles, "Seems kind of a lot of work, but sure… sure, I guess so." And he picks up the spade. "Where do you want it?"

Jezebel replies, "Right about here. It'll be a lot of work to get the entire wall, but it should be worth it. We'll want to plant the bushes about four feet apart." She picks up a shovel and starts digging.

Tony throws himself into it. He's not one of the world's natural gardeners, but at least he's working.

Jezebel helps dig too, so a hole about two feet deep gets dug in almost no time at all. She puts a shovel of compost at the bottom, then waters the blackberry bush. Grasping it by the base with heavy gardening gloves, she gets it into the hole.

Tony watches this bit, perhaps looking like he doesn't know what he's supposed to do now.

Jezebel uses her shovel to move the dirt to finish filling the hole and covering the roots. Then she sits in the lawn chair. "Now comes the hard part." She falls silent, concentrating hard…

… and the bush's thorns slowly grow to an inch long.

Tony edges back, "Uh… it is just doing it like that, right?"
Tony says, “I mean, it's not gonna go all triffid on us, right?”

Jezebel says, “I can't make it turn into a Triffid, no. No Krinoids, either. Do you think the thorns need to be longer?”

Tony says, “Uh;… yeah. Yeah, those could get padded down, with a roll of carpet.”

Jezebel says, "I think the bush will be too springy for that, but you're the expert. " She concentrates again…

… and after a few minutes, the thorns are now two inches long.

Tony nods, "Yeah. Yeah, that would put me off. I don't reckon you're gonna plant any which grow nicer berries, or stuff?"

Jezebel shakes her head. "Not out here, probably. I might work on that later. I'm asking a lot of this bush as it is. It should get some rest before I ask it to do anything else."

Tony says, “Well, I was reckoning a different bush, anyway, because I don't care how good this one's berries taste, I'm not collectin' em.”

Jezebel chuckles. "I can come make the thorns retract, once the berries are ripe."

Tony rubs his chin, "I guess. Does that hurt the plant?"

Jezebel says, "It shouldn't, really, although it does take some energy."

Tony says, “Okay… okay, well, this is all kind of weird. You want another hole dug?”

Jezebel replies, "Yes, please," as she moves everything four feet over.

Tony groans, and starts digging, "Man, there's a reason I didn't opt to do honest work."

Jezebel helps dig the hole. "This isn't the fun part of gardening, I agree. Just think how much better you'll sleep at night once we get these all planted."

Tony chuckles a bit, as he digs into the soil again, "I figured on other ways of wearin' me out to sleep well."

Jezebel laughs as she digs. "You would," she says to him. "I'll rephrase: think how much safer you'll feel."

Tony says, “Yeah, now THAT you have a point with.”

Jezebel smiles. "That's the idea: home defense through gardening. It's why I was chosen to run this safehouse."

Tony says, “Yeah… and it's pretty elegant. And I doubt anyone's gonna notice it, either.”

Jezebel takes a moment to bow to Tony. "Thank you. Our best defense will always be no one knowing we're here. That's why I'm not planting climbing roses on the south wall."

Tony says, “Uh… because they're domestic?”

Jezebel nods. "Roses won't grow wild. Blackberries usually do."

Tony rubs his chin, thoughtfully, "How about ground creepers?"

Jezebel says, "That'll probably be the third line of defense, if I can find a shade-loving one I like that can be coaxed into covering its leaves with catchetolamines."

Tony tilts his head, "Okay, lost me there. Why Cathecolamines?" He shakes his head slowly.

Jezebel explains, "So people walking through it will get nasty, poison ivy-type allergic reactions."

Tony whistles, "Oh… right.. .I was thinking.. you know… like mantraps."

Jezebel thinks about that a moment. "I can't make plants move, Tony. Would you please explain what you had in mind?"

Tony hrms, and ponders, "Well.. there are creepers which can grab, and tighten up, yeah?"

Jezebel says, "I'm not familiar with them, but please go on."

Tony says, “Well… I don't know… sort of sticky plants, you know?”

Jezebel thinks. "Sticky as in oozing sap, or sticky as in thorny?"

Tony says, “Well, little hooks or something. I don't know!”

Jezebel keeps thinking. "Can you tell me the name of one of these vines?"

Tony looks apologetic, "Uh… no?"

Jezebel sighs. "Curses, foiled again. If you do remember a name, please tell me."

Tony says, “Yeah, will do. You want me to see if I can… uh… find… a book on Australian flora?”

Jezebel answers, "Please."

Tony grins wickedly, "See what I can do."

Jezebel beams at Tony. "Thank you."

Tony says, “Hey, you're easy to please!”

Jezebel laughs. "Luckily for you, eh?"

Tony digs in, again, "Yeah. Yeah, mind… I reckon this is just an excuse to get me all hot and sweaty."

Jezebel just laughs and laughs while she helps dig. Once the hole is ready, she adds compost, the bush and some water, mounds the leftover dirt, then concentrates. In just a few minutes, the bush has two-inch thorns.

Tony is already working on the next hole, "You any good at massages?"

Jezebel admits, "Not very, but I'll do my best." She moves everything over to the new hole.

Tony gives a wolfish grin, and….

Fade to black.

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