Mr. Holden's Rules


ethan_icon.gif kaylee2_icon.gif

Scene Title Mr. Holden's Rules
Synopsis Ethan starts up training Kaylee on guns with laying out the rules and… well… being himself.
Date November 04, 2009

Undisclosed Location on Staten

"I understand you think you're good at things…"


"I did when I was your age, too. It's because we get coddled. When we're young, we get applauded for takin' shits."


"It takes down the stock of true excellence. Making valuable skill seem less worthwhile. Afterall if we're clapping at shit, 'ow much better can our reaction be to 'ittin' a target three 'undered feet away, right in between the fuckin' ojos."


A lot of things aren't explained. Like why Ethan agreed to do this, why Ethan is shooting all the targets he set up instead of letting her practice, why he suddenly decided to speak in Spanish for one word. But it seems too pointless to ask. Smoke sifts off the silenced barrel of the glock as the Wolf raises the gun to check over his handiwork. Little whiddled figurines line a dilapitated vehicle. His own carvings, lined up on the burnt out honda. Every single bullet cracks only against wood, never making the sharper twang of metal. "So if I'm going to waste my time teachin' you, when you'll probably backfire when you're on your own and shoot your own fuckin' nose off then spend all your money on plastic surgery and end up snortin lines off hobos cocks…" A breath. "Then you're going to 'ave to realize that you fuckin' suck. Not just at shootin', at fightin', at thinkin', even at bein' pretty." The man gives an appraising look to the woman standing beside him.

"If you can do that, I can show you 'ow to stop suckin' dick and start kickin' ass." It's a foggy day on Staten. The two have found a field with a few burnt out vehicles. The word field is used liberally as it is mostly a bunch of dirt. A weathered soccer goal off in the distance. Wearing a long brown coat, Ethan holds a silenced pistol in one hand. "If you can't do that, you've wasted more of my time than is reparable and I will never speak to you again and probably piss in your shoes."

She had been surprised when he showed up declaring he was teaching her how to shoot and now Kaylee stands there beside him, her mouth slightly open with shock, as she stare at those poor little figurines. She had complimented him on those.

"Holy shit…" That's Kaylee speak for.. 'Oh my god, that was so cool!' Her head turns slightly to direct that stare at him, her brows lifting a bit. "Holy shit…" Translation: 'I can't believe you just did that.'

Giving herself a shake, she sighs a bit. "I know I suck… especially at that." She flips a hand at the gun in his hands. "I couldn't even change the clip thing in it when we were in Pinehearst." There is a grimace as she mentions that, but continues. "I never learned cause I could just make the guys put their own gun to their head, but those freaky things at that place.. I couldn't get in their minds." She trails off and she bites her lip to stop she chatter.

"Sorry… anyway.. I suck at everything.. Got it." Kaylee gives him a small smirk and a thumbs up.

"Rule number two:" Apparently rule number one was already said at some point, hopefully Kaylee didn't miss it. "Never act impressed. Unless you're around me. Then it's okay." Ethan cleanly lifts up the weapon after blowing the load on the disfigured figurines. The magazine is ejected, but it is ejected in a way that it shoots out of the gun and into Kaylee. Haah. Lowering the gun, Ethan nods affirmatively. "Pick that up, would y'sweet'eart?"

And just to add to it, he tosses the now empty gun on the ground a few feet away from the clip. Just far enough that she isn't able to pick them both up in one clean squat or bendover, she'll have to pick one up go through the agony of standing back up, stepping, and then getting the other. Hee. :D Reaching into his coat pocket a few bullets are pulled out of his coat.

"D'you know 'ow to reload a clip?" The bullets are held up in his black gloved hand, giving an expectant look to her. "Probably not, ey?" And with that he allows the bullets to sift through his fingers and drop to the ground as well. "Pick 'em up and I'll teach ya."

Suddenly grateful that she isn't sick anymore, Kaylee watches the older man with a slightly amused expression. When he's don't she arches her brows, one side of her mouth tugs up a bit higher. "Is this like a… wax on wax off, Mr Miyagi thing? Or you just like want to watch me bend over?" Shse doesn't bend over though, she crouches down to retrieve one item, blowing on it a bit to get sand off of it as she moves to get the next time. The clip is tucked into her teeth as she picks up the gun and works on brushing that off on her way to the bullets. Those get picked up one at a time and wiped off on the thigh of her jean and tucked into her hands some. She does redrop a bullet or too, before she stands again with all items.

Kaylee offers him a small smile after she pulls the clip out of her mouth. "Alright, Oh Master of Guns." A look suddenly crosses her face and she turns her head aside to try and spit something out of her mouth, she gives a clip a look like it obviously tasted nasty.

"Rule number seventy-two, don't try to be funny. You suck at it, too. And you might accidentally steal my jokes. That includes irony, sarcasm, and unnecessary titles. Such as Master of guns." Holden mutters, watching her going to place the bullets in the clip. He frowns, pointing angrily. "You 'ave to 'old that thingie down while you push 'em in." Pointing pointedly at what 'thingie' he is talking about. "'old that thingie." He reaffirms.

Finally he takes a step back, growling. "Rule number five 'undered fourty three thousand, when it comes to you I am asexual. Your vagina, if you really 'ave one, 'as and will never 'ave anything for me. The only reason I would ever want to see you bend over is if there was a funny Garfield comic strip superglued to your ass. Or a clever wordpuzzle." He hums for a moment. "Other than that, you could never ever offer me any attraction. So edge your arousal now, I won't sleep with you." He points at a few of the remaining figurines. "When you're done loadin' it, take off a few shots so I can see 'ow much you suck."

"Who ever said anything about sleeping with you? Your probably old enough to be my dad. A girl has to draw the line somewhere." Kaylee murmurs sounding more amused then anything, though whether she means it or not is another thing. Though, she never thought of Adam that way either and Ethan looks a lot older then that. She glances over at the Wolf, with a bit of a smirk. Way older.

The smallest hint of a smile there, Kaylee eyes the clip and the bullets. She tucks the gun between her knees and then goes about trying to do as he asks. "This thingy?" She asks brows lifting a bit, but she doesn't wait for an answer and starts pushing the bullets into the clip one at a time and rather slowly. One she's done, she tries to push it into the gun, only to find out she put it in backwards. "Oops!" Finally it clicks in place and she gives a sigh of relief.

"Okay, Kaylee.. You've made men blow their brains out.. how hard could this be." That comment mumbled to herself as she glances over at the targets. Taking a deep breath, she lifts the gun, held with both hands. He can already see the uncertainty in her face, she has no confidence in this. She goes to pull the trigger she turns her head away slightly, her eyes squinting. She fires the first shot, nothing.. No metal… no wood chips flying. A few mores shots of the same.. Before she clips the metal between two wooden things.

"Your deepest and darkest thoughts, that's 'oo. And most likely your bejeweled diary when you finally get a chance to curl up wit' it while you watch 'ow to lose a guy in ten days for the fuckin-teenth time." How he even knows about that movie is up in the air, but don't mention it, it will make the Wolf angry! He makes no comment as she tries to jam the clip into her gun and finally lets out a squeak of disapproval as she finally, clumsily aims the gun up. And then she blasts out the load with nary a hit. And then a sharp twang. Hm.

"Fuck. You suck."

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