Old Me Is Dead


claire3_icon.gif magnes2_icon.gif

Scene Title Old Me Is Dead
Synopsis Claire and Magnes talk more about how things have changed.
Date January 10, 2010

USS George Washington

Sitting out in the hall in the middle of the afternoon, Magnes is staring at a little baseball-sized floating sphere of water in front of him, occasionally splashing a penguin. There's two waddling near him, and he's simply watching intently, possibly doing some sort of training when he tries to break off tiny bits of water and throw it. He's in his NAVY shirt, blue jeans, and black combat boots, seemingly hiding from the world… in the middle of a hallway.

She's been spending time on the fantail, watching the endless ocean stretch out to the horizon, knowing that this is the last leg of a long journey, but also she's been trying to look through the blurred haze of so many of her memories. Coming back from just this activity, Claire almost doesn't see Magnes sitting there, with her thoughts still turned inward. Her combat boots sound heavy on the metal decking beneath her, until she comes to a stop near him.

Blue eyes focus on the young man and then blinks. "Oh… Magnes. Hello." Her head lifts to glance down one side of the hall then the other. "What… are you up too out here?"

"Just thinking, and being embarassed. I know it probably seems immature, since you don't really know me now, but I felt like I was gonna die when Kazimir tore me apart in front of you." Magnes raises his hand, causing the ball of water to hover above it, slightly wobbling and occasionally losing shape, but he mostly holds it into a sphere. "He taught me this, on our mission. I couldn't use my ability without touching something. So, this is really your first time seeing it. What about you, Claire? What are you up to?"

"Thinking.." Is all the answer Manges gets from Claire as she watches the orb float there curiously. "I wouldn't worry about what happened with Kaimir to much. You learn from it and move on." The words are blunt but true. Moving to stand on the other side of the hallway. "We all have embarrassing moments, it happens." She gives him a tight lipped smile.

She is quiet for a moment and she starts hesitantly, "Something I've observed about you Magnes…" She holds a hand up to keep him from interrupting her. "And try not to take what I say wrong… but you come across as speaking without thinking on somethings and a bit of the sidekick." goofy comic relief, but that she keeps completely to herself. "It's kind of obvious this isn't your typical gig."

"We've all gone through this kind of rookie stage. We've all made mistakes. Learn from it for sure." She gives him a sad smile, "It's weird knowing that we had something… I don't know what to think about it most time." Claire admits.

"You say that to me a lot, Claire. Whenever we were at my place and I'd feel crushed because I made some mistake, trying to be in this life, you'd always say 'We were all there at some point', and you'd say that I should ask for your help instead of trying to do everything alone. I guess you haven't changed that much, you still make me feel better." Magnes offers a genuine smile, for once not having to force it as a little bead of water gently bounces from her forehead and back into the air. "When we met, we didn't really have so many people around. I mean, you were one of the few people I met who didn't already have an opinion of me because of everyone else. You'd say people give you crap about our relationship, but you ignore it. I know we were honest with each other and comfortable and all, but I never knew why you put so much effort into our relationship when there's so many awesome guys around."

"I wish I had the answer for you Magnes. But I can tell you right now… My mind isn't on men and relationships." Claire says softly, "But not remembering does not help at all. It's like starting over, but the game has changed. I don't look at things like I did. What I saw…what I went though in Madagascar.. or at least what I can remember of it… It made me really see that somethings are much more important."

"Do you know that on the trip, I never once saw a woman that I remember that wasn't my team?" she levels a look at Magnes, there are no emotions on her face, her eyes kind of take on that empty look, something she learned on trip. It's what makes her an effective killer. "We found them.. the women.. Rooms upon rooms of pregnant woman. Made to carry the future of humanity. And when each baby is born. It was tested. The evolved babies were killed and tossed into the incinerator. I saw… the incinerator and the tiny bodies falling through the chute.. I ran through the incinerator and watch a good man get incinerated. We had too do it to escape. "

The young blonde is silent for a long moment, her eyes almost haunted, "You don't walk away from something like that the same person. And that… that was only part of it… but probably the worst that I remember. So yes… I look at you and I have a hard time understanding and for that… I am sorry."

"You shouldn't be apologizing to me." Magnes slowly massages his forehead with one hand, not even sure how one responds to something like incinerated babies. "I love you, Claire, that's something I've never directly said to you, but that doesn't mean I expect you to just… drop everything and focus on me. I never asked you to do that, I just kind of swallowed and accepted that this is what you do, because you're a good person, always sacrificing yourself for other people."

He stands finally, moving to walk over to her, looking down with a gentle expression. "To me, you're like, this amazing girl, who's thoughtful and selfless, and not always a hardened soldier. But I'm not selfish enough to bottle you up and keep you to myself if you believe you could be doing something better than dates with your geeky boyfriend. Besides," He offers a soft smile, though it's one of those partially sad ones. "To me, you're like lightning randomly striking a bullet just before it's gonna hit someone. Getting a girl like you was probably one of those perfect circumstance things, right place, right time, all that stuff. So, don't worry, alright? I mean, I'm not completely immature, I love you enough to let you go, if that's really what I need to do, for you." He swallows, hard, but is doing his best to keep up a brave front.

"That is the thing, Magnes… I don't know what I need yet." Claire says, confusion finally pushing through that emotionless mask. "I don't even know what is going to happen when to go into this mission. I have something I have to try to do. I only know the moment, not what will stop it from destroying the world, but…" Claire's look is intense as she just tells him the truth. "I will do whatever I have too to make sure it doesn't happen, even if it means.. well… dying for good."

"I had an old woman tell me in Madagascar, that if I didn't go to Antarctica, then all is lost. The vision she showed me, can not happen." Claire explains if, but she doesn't give details, "There is too much riding on it for me to even think about you an me."

"Look…" A hand moves to press against his chest. "I have no idea what is going to happen.. With the bomb, us… anything… Just keep what we did have close to your heart.. Cause the old me.. she's not coming back, she can't. Think of her as dead if you must… but keep an open mind with the new me."

"I don't wanna lose you, Claire, but I know this is bigger than both of us, I know I can't, shouldn't stop you, so let's wait until we get to New York before we get all Dawson's Creek, alright? I believe you'll survive, you always say you can protect yourself, and, I'll believe that, beyond anything else." Magnes looks down at her hand, moving to gently place his hand against it. "But just remember one thing, alright? I thought about this for a while, and even if the old Claire is gone, you're still Claire, I still love you, and I'm willing to get to know you all over again, when we get back. If a relationship happens, then, great, if not, then I'll probably kick a car into orbit, but I'll still accept it, and I'll be your friend. So, we're good for the rest of the mission?"

"Yeah…" Claire murmurs softly, nodding slowly. "We're good…" Her tone seems a bit distracted. Slipping her hand from under his, she edges out from between him and the wall. "Now I'm going to get some rest, I recommend you do the same." A glance goes to the penguins. "And you might want to hide your pets… the brass might not like the fact you brought them on board." she give him an amused look.

"Take care, Manges. I'll see you around the ship." Claire raises her hand in farewell, before she starts heading down the hall to her room.

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