Participants:
| Scene Title | Real Talk |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | Kara attempts to give Reena advice on her love life. |
| Date | March 22, 2019 |
Reena was supposed to stay in the Safe Zone for a few days with some of her employees, but she came home ahead of the rest. She doesn't even go home to the farm, she heads straight for the alcohol. Her horse is tied up outside their town bar, but Reena is inside with a glass of whiskey (neat) half gone in front of her. The normally stoic woman is visibly frazzled, which is odd enough on its own, but coupled with coming home from a market weekend early it's downright troubling.
And things like that don't go unnoticed.
When Kara settles in next to Reena at the bar after taking what she would consider an early day, seeing the other woman already there, and already in her cup, she takes her time in addressing the abnormality. She orders a whiskey of her own, not unusual in that she prefers it to any of the beer they normally haul back from down. But it is a sign of solidarity today, however small.
She speaks only after considering her drink in contemplative silence, and even when she does, Kara only asks, "You need me to go kick anyone's ass for you?" as she takes her first sip. She doesn't normally swear, but this is a special occasion. Without knowing what's happened in the slightest, she's already not fond of whatever's put Reena in this state.
Looking over as Kara sits down, Reena greets her with a nod before she drinks a little more. She doesn't volunteer to break the silence, but once Kara does, she answers with a wry laugh. "I wish it were that simple," she says, running a hand through her hair. For a moment, it seems like that might be all of it, as she falls silent again for a long moment.
But what Reena feels most at this moment is lonely.
"Have you ever loved someone that you couldn't stay with?" She shakes out her hair, undoing what taming her fingers just managed to do. "And then run into them at a coffee shop and have a conversation that reminds you why you loved them in the first place, but also why you had to walk away?" That part's a little more specific. Perhaps a little less universal.
Oh, man. It was one of those conversations.
Just at hearing have you ever loved someone, Kara is already tipping her glass back again to take a much deeper drink than first anticipated. It deepens even further when Reena finishes her first question. She winces when the second one makes the conversation less hypothetical and more indicative of the kind of day she's had.
"Oof," Kara intones with a sympathetic wince. "Just so we're clear, are they both the same thing? The reasons."
Instead of using the information to feed what kind of advice she'll give for the situation, or something more traditionally helpful, she elaborates, "That'll determine how closely I can relate."
"They are not. I'm not that messed up," Reena says with a sideways smile. "No, I… left him because he was becoming… or I got to know him well enough to realize… He blames non-evolved, full stop, for every wrong. He says he doesn't mean me, but then, that's not really the issue." She shakes her head, tipping back the rest of her drink before signalling for another. "I'm a little messed up, though, because I can't just not care about him and I've just been trying to not think about him and definitely not see him." She groans and drops her head to the bar. "Oh god, stop me now, even I'm tired of listening to me."
"Ah," Kara drily muses at Reena declaring she's not that messed up. "Well."
She takes another drink from her glass while she listens to the rest of it, gnawing on the topic mentally. When Reena tries to hide her face, Kara grins stiffly before leaning back on the stool, yowling with melodrama, "Stop, please, I can't take it!" A hand flies to the side of her face, knuckles resting against her brow like she's in an old western and she's about to swoon. "The sound of you beating yourself up for giving a damn is just. too. much!"
Her look flattens then, head tipping forward to help accentuate the stern look she's trying to convey. Kara tips back what remains of her first glass, letting it land with a clack on the bar before she similarly signals for another.
"You know, it could be worse. You could be a jilted lover who swore off everything Evo in response. He should count his lucky stars you still care after him even though he's opted to blanket hate us common folk." With a lift of her brow, she adds coarsely, "For some stupid reason." His beliefs, her caring about him despite them— both of those things were stupid, frankly.
"How'd you even meet this guy, Reena?" she asks skeptically.
"Kara," Reena says, chidingly, "this is serious." Her words might be starting to slur a bit. Her cheeks are pinker than normal, for sure. "I don't want to give a damn, giving a damn is what broken hearts are made of. I'm sure of it."
It's probably good that there's no cell service out here. In the old days, this would definitely lead to drunk dialing exactly the person she shouldn't be thinking about. She drinks a little more, because she isn't nearly drunk enough for the day she's had. "I have enough sense to know that one evo's actions don't reflect on every evo." She looks over at Kara, her hand propping her head up. "I don't think he feels lucky. I just kept thinking… if I could just say the right thing he would realize that he's being obtuse. But I didn't say the right thing, I said the wrong thing. And then I got mad at myself for thinking any of that in the first place." The last question gets a long sigh. "We both had ties to the Ferrymen. Waystations, that kind of thing. I got pushed out east during the war."
Kara ceases her ribbing, at least for now. If she senses Reena taking everything overly seriously again, she might make another ill-advised attempt at levity. The response to her question elicits an upward nod of her head, careful acknowledgement of the shared fact. "I had ties to the Ferry further West, up and down the coast," she shares, because she doesn't think she has before and it seems like it could be relevant later, even if now it wasn't.
"Listen," she inputs with renewed vigor. "It isn't your job to fix his outlook. Clearly he won't listen to any sense. It sounds like you've tried." Kara's tone isn't disapproving, but it's close. Her next words are slightly more sympathetic: "Caring doesn't make up broken hearts, but holding on too tight sure will lead to it. Surefire way to break you, doing that."
Reena looks over at Kara, reassessing her with that piece of information. Being part of the Network is always a bonus, as far as she's concerned. Around Providence, she's been slow to make friends over the years, seeming content with a sort of professional reputation and relationship with the people who live here. All the more so when Eileen's people came to join them.
But Ferrymen, that's different.
"I know," she says, to her advice. Maybe to her disappointment, too. "I know. You're right." Her lips press together and for a moment it looks like she might start to cry. But instead, she shifts her focus to her glass and her whiskey. Her shoulders straighten and she takes a long drink. "I just have to shake this. Seeing him. It happened, it's over. That's always the worst, right? Seeing your ex the first time after they're ex."
"And the second, and then the third, until one day it's suddenly not as big a deal anymore."
Kara's nothing if not honest, and the way she reaches for her topped off glass immediately after suggests it's something maybe you never truly get over. She at least pauses before drinking, taking the time to shrug. "It's different for everyone, how many times it takes."
She sets her glass aside in favor of reaching over to Reena, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She squeezes the other woman firmly, ruffling her shoulder before letting go. "You're strong, it probably won't get to you too many more times." Kara assures her. "If you saw him more frequently, you'd probably be over it by now. And that's the shitty kicker, isn't it? Doing what's best for you somehow always ends up punching you in the gut, too."
But there's supposed to be advice in here somewhere, too, and she seems to realize she's not done that great a job at conveying that. "Have you moved on? I mean, that helps. Seeing other people. It makes it less fresh if your head and your heart are both focused on someone else, usually."
The prospect of more run ins makes Reena sigh heavily, dramatically until she has to laugh. She leans into the hug, returning it with her own squeeze before she picks her drink up again. "Immersion therapy. It's a theory…" She's been doing the opposite of that, so far, and it's led to her setting herself up for a hangover in the morning. So maybe it's a good theory, even. "I would rather he just literally punch me in the gut, frankly," she says, finishing off her glass again.
Moving on is also the opposite of what she's been doing, so the answer is a shake of her head. "Casual stuff. Not dating. I fell in love once and I really don't want to do it again. You don't ever really… know people. I should have had that drilled in a long time ago." The dip in her mood is sharp, and she thunks her empty glass back on the bar. "Work helps. The farm helps. Luckily, it needs me most of the time and doesn't leave a lot of room for other things. That has been working for me."
"Sure, that work will keep you plenty busy," Kara agrees mildly, eyeing the freshly empty glass of Reena's. "It'll make sure you don't get to know people, at least." She takes a tender sip from her own, suspecting that her drinking partner's trip home might require three legs instead of two. Squinting thoughtfully, she sets her glass back down and lets go of it. "And you know," she ventures more quietly, "it sounds like you do know him now. You just hate what you learned because it changed the way you saw him. Rightfully so." That last part added a bit more sternly. She's not suggesting this guy be forgiven.
"But, getting hurt doesn't mean you're broken. Not unless you let it break you." Glancing pointedly from the corner of her eyes, she asks, "You're not gonna let what's-his-name break your heart, are you? I'm not saying go out and fall in love, but, go let off some steam or something. Go into town, find some place he won't be, and enjoy yourself. Get tangled up in something. Let that heart flutter a little. Hell, I'll even go with you if you need it."
"I know people," Reena says in protest. Of course, what she means is that she is passingly familiar with people. Which is not what Kara is talking about.
"Ignacio," she says, after a long pause. "That's what's his name. I know this isn't him, that's the thing. I can't believe this is him." Shaking her head, she reaches for her glass only to find it empty. When did that happen? She's stalling, really. Rolling over Kara's advice in her head. Like most advice that needs to be heard, she doesn't much like it. But she considers it, at least. "Do you have any suggestions?"
Outside of Providence, she isn't familiar enough to plan a night out. And inside Providence, there's not much in the way of a nightlife.
Kara gives Reena a knowing look when she insists she knows people. It speaks what no single word could on its own. But when she's asked for suggestions, the intensity of her look quickly lessens. She needs to offer a good suggestion.
"Well, he'd probably stay away from Staten, right?" she suggests, mulling the idea over. She might not be wrong, even if she dislikes the isle herself. "There's bars, even clubs out there." Kara lifts her hand with a slight tilt of her head, "I mean I'd not recommend sleeping with anybody out there, but it could be a fun night out."
"Or we could head further into town." She's sure she can find a club.
She's not sure it'll solve Reena's problem, but it's a long enough drive to the city she could work on a Plan B then if she hadn't come up with one by the time they set out.
Reena tips her head and looks to her glass. She hasn't gotten it filled again, but she's kind of regretting it now. "I don't even have anything to wear to a club," she says, because she may be a farm girl, but she knows the sort of attire one wears to such an outing. And for a moment, it seems like she might leave it there, a refusal to do anything outside of her reclusive routine.
But she looks over at Kara, letting out a sigh. "But if you find us a bar, I'll come for a night out. Just maybe not… tonight. I'm a glass or two from passing out and forgetting today ever happened."
"Definitely not tonight." Kara approves of this highly sound decision. "And don't worry about dressing down for the occasion, we'll work something out." Plaid might not even stand out that much, if worst came to worst.
She reaches over to rub Reena's back in a vaguely affectionate pat. "First adventure is going to be getting you home later. Can you even walk?" she teases, mouth trying and failing to suppress a small grin.
Reena smirks over at Kara at the pat, a chuckle following her question. "That," she says with a firm press of her finger against the bar, "is what the horse is for."