Saving A World That Sucks


magnes_icon.gif veronica3_icon.gif

Scene Title Saving A World That Sucks
Synopsis … means returning to one that sucks and having to live in it, Veronica tells Magnes, who is unsure about how to go forward in the future they weren't sure they would see.
Date January 17, 2010

USS George Washingon

Having returned a few hours ago from freezing his ass off and realizing that one can't simply pack up and fly away in the middle of Antarctica, Magnes has returned his things to his room, and now roams the halls, running a finger across the wall. Wearing his gray NAVY t-shirt, blue jeans and blue sneakers, he appears to be in deep thought, worrying about things even after the world has been saved; go figure.

Veronica is having an argument with a doctor outside of the infirmary. "I don't want to stay in the infirmary. The doctors at McMurdo released me, so I'm sure I'm well enough to sleep in the regular cabins." The company agent is in a Navy sweatsuit that's a size too big, leaning on crutches and glaring at the doctor who's obviously trying to insist she sleep in the infirmary. "I'm not an enlisted sailor, so you can't force me to do it. I just stopped by to pick up an ice pack, not to be lectured like a three year old. Got it?"

Magnes stops near the two arguing, reaching over to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he looks to the doctor. "Agent Sawyer will be fine, I'm a licensed nurse, I'll watch her all night, alright?" He's lying, but smiling warmly, wanting to help out someone who's apparently his long forgotten friend.

The agent arches a brow at Magnes. Like he's going to be anywhere near her sleeping quarters! The doctor shrugs, however. "I just can't have the government pissed at me if you get worse, Agent Sawyer," he tries to explain, but she's already moving away on the crutches.

"You can't court marshal me for refusing to sleep in the medical bay," she says with a chuckle as she moves down the hall, not waiting for Magnes, but he can catch up easily enough. "Come on, Varlane."

Magnes walks up next to her, hands in his pockets as he looks over her attire. "I'm stressing, for so many reasons. We saved the world and I still have a knot in my stomach." Laughing lightly, almost uneasily without much humor at all in it, he stares down at his shoes. "So many people died so we could succeed, and I feel like an ungrateful jerk because I don't want to go home."

"Sadly, saving a world that sucks means that we continue to live in a world that sucks," Veronica says. She moves ably enough on the crutches that it suggests she's been on them several times in the past. "It feels like we should all have a happy ending. We saved the day, right? But it's not like that in real life. New York is still going to have a giant hole in it and there's still going to be all the chaos that's been there since Midtown. But at least we have the choice of living now, you know? And maybe making it better, but … scary as it is to say, making that mess better is a slower and more difficult process than what we just went through."

"It all sucks. I keep waiting for this light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm coming out of this mission with a worse life than I had before. People keep saying I knew the risks… well maybe I didn't? Maybe I just tried to have a little optimism…" Magnes, possibly sick of mopping around, just turns his head and says the first thing on his mind. "There's no way I didn't have a crush on you in the Company, I mean, you're hot. What was I like there? I mean, what did I do? Um… did I do anything that would likely be very important to know I did before?"

Veronica listens, finally coming to the cabin that holds several bedding berths, mostly empty and used by her and Gillian the last time they were on the vessel. She laughs a little at his comment. "Come on, sit down, and don't get any ideas," she says, lifting a crutch and pointing at one of the lower cots, then taking another and wincing as she stretches out her leg.

"You had a crush on just about every woman in the company you met, I think, Magnes. And no — I don't think there's anything that you really need to remember. You tried hard but … well, you were too honest for that kind of work. Don't regret leaving it, okay? It's not … you're better than we are, all right? Our shades of gray are too black for you, so to speak."

"No offense, but after this mission, I'm not a big government fan. This whole thing could have gone in an entirely different way, we could have planned. I mean, I can only imagine how things would have gone if we had Daphne and Tracy with us. Do you have any idea how easy Madagascar would have been with Daphne?" Magnes doesn't expect her to know who Daphne is, taking his seat and crossing his legs on the cot. "When I get home, after I negotiate some things out with whoever's in charge of compensation, I'm taking my government-paid issue of Amazing Fantasy 15, buying a nice suit, getting my credits transferred from my online courses and going to a real college, then I'm gonna start a band, if Cat isn't pissed at me."

"That's probably the smartest thing I've ever heard you say," Veronica says with a nod toward college. "Well. I don't know about the band part, but it's good to have goals. And no, I have no idea who those people are." She might figure out Tracy if she thought about it, but the ice princess is far from the company agent's mind at the moment. "As far as planning — the problem is everyone knew certain things that they didn't let everyone else in on, it sounded like to me. If we all knew the plan — well. That's Kazimir's doing, maybe, and he's no longer in the picture, so whatever. We can't undo and God forbid we have to ever do it again so it's done. And they figured there would be sacrifices, Magnes. They knew there would be. Like in any war, and yeah, this was a war of a sort."

"I don't plan to be a big celebrity, I just wanna do the band for fun, I wanna start playing piano again. And yeah, Kazimir's gone too, isn't he… I know this is all his fault, but, I kind of felt like maybe he was some sort of father figure." Magnes frowns, looking to the door, likely the only one who's gonna miss Kazimir at all. "I'm not sure if I can really look at Peter, I don't know Peter except for those comics, I only know Kazimir. It'll be… weird."

"I don't know Peter, but at least Peter can't kill someone just by poking them with his finger, you know?" Veronica says. "Sorry though, that you lost someone you look up to. We lost some good people." Her voice wavers just a touch, and her eyes drop, a touch of something glimmering on the dark lashes. Her mind is on Cardinal mostly, the person she grew closest to besides Gillian, and on Francois, a member of her team, who she helped bring into the mission in the first place.

"Yeah, I feel like I've gotta honor them somehow, and I need to apologize to Elisabeth. I can be an immature kid sometimes." Magnes leans over until he's laying on his side, resting his cheek into his fist. "Maybe I do need to get laid, but my girlfriend has amnesia, so, not happening. I should really try porn some time, never really have." He's once again seemingly going off the serious topics. "Hey, when we're back home, you're not like… just gonna disappear, right? I think you're one of the few people I know who don't judge me."

Veronica arches a brow at the Liz comment, then shakes her head at the discussion of being laid and trying porn. Her eyes close. "Like I said, you're too honest for your own good," she says with a laugh. "Honor them by taking the chance to live in this world and having a good life. That's all they'd want, Mag." As far as her disappearing, she shrugs. "I'm not going to pretend I don't know you if I see you in the grocery store or something, but it's not like we're all going to have tea parties, you know? I'm still the bad guy."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, about both being too honest and living life. I do need to try and live a good life. I need to kind of swallow this lump in my throat and realize that Claire might just be my friend from now on. I can't let a loss ruin my life… I'm not just gonna give up, but I can't let it ruin me either." Magnes rolls over on his back, staring at the top punk, being pretty comfy in a bed that isn't his. "And you're not bad, even if you're in the Company, you're just… not bad. I can't see you that way."

"I know this sounds … old and lectury and stuff, but you're still young. The chances of Claire being the one you end up with — well. It might or might not have been, and it still might or might not be. But you're still becoming, you know? You need to find out who you are before you utterly tie yourself to someone else… and same for her. Now that she's lost so much of her memory, she needs the space to find out who she is even more than she would have just as a 20-year-old girl, which is a bit of space already, if you know what I mean." She frowns, knowing she's not explaining it well. "She knows you care for her, at least. You have nothing to regret, there, and that's something to be proud of."

"If you woke up and someone said I was your boyfriend, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't exactly be in a rush to get that back." Magnes closes his eyes, silent for a few moments, mostly processing her words. "Space. Five months is a lot to give up, but, I guess if she can't remember, it wouldn't really hurt her. But someone already said I shouldn't just do what I think is best for people… I'll give it a while, and if she wants me to go away, if she really isn't interested in me anymore…"

Veronica chuckles at his self deprecation. "You're not a bad guy, Magnes. You're sweet and you're cute, and don't get any ideas, because I'm too old for you and I'm taken to boot. But if I were a 20 year old girl, I'd probably think you were pretty keen stuff." She winks at the old-fashioned word. "So don't sell yourself short. Just… do your thing. If I recall, you had other girls lined up that might be interested in you, if it doesn't work out, right?"

"Don't tell anyone, 'cause, well, this is a secret. I'm trusting you, alright?" Magnes opens his eyes, smiling over at her. If you can't trust the person who helped you save the world, well… "There's this girl, Delilah, I've had a thing for her since before I met Claire. Unlike every other girl I know, I could probably show up at her door and a relationship would more or less start. We'd be together already, but things were complicated, and since I barely remember things around that time, I'm guessing 'complicated' means 'Company'."

"The reason it's a secret is because I told Claire absolutely everything, except the fact that I still had feelings for a girl other than her. God, you have no idea how awkward that could be sometimes. I was laying in the hospital after that helicopter thing, and Delilah started spoon feeding me… while Claire was sitting right there." He shakes his head, snickering at that. "But it's not Claire's fault she lost her memories, I can't just abandon her, I still want her, I still feel loyal to her. Not to mention the idea of her being with another guy, when I've been with her for five months, and we didn't really end… Can you imagine how that feels? Just, losing someone even though they're still there, and neither of you chose it? I'm not saying I could never be with Delilah, but Claire has me so confused."

"That was one of the names. There were two, before you met Claire, that I recall," Veronica says, reaching into a bag beneath the cot for a bottle and a bottle of pills. "You could date more than one person at a time. See which works out. As long as you're honest, which isn't a problem for you. Just don't tell the other person everything about the other. Just say you're just dating, and they're free to see other people, too, and then everyone has the space they need to figure things out." Is she really giving dating advice? She hasn't successfully "dated" anyone since college. Brian and she never dated — they just suddenly were. She shakes out a pill and tosses it back with a swig of water.

"I thought dating lots of people was something they did in the 60s, I mean, that's what my mother always said." Magnes crosses his legs once he sits back up, hunching again. He hunches a lot lately, considering he had pretty good posture a few months ago. "The thing about now and when I liked girls before, well, when I started dating Claire, I suddenly knew the difference between wanting to sleep with a girl and wanting to date her. Turns out, I wanted to sleep with a lot of girls. But I mean, it's not like one would be any different than the other, physically. I've read sexual diagrams. Bella did explain that different girls like different things… She kind of gave me 'The talk'. Bella's my therapist, by the way." The one person from the Company he kept his memories of… except the Company stuff.

Veronica closes her eyes and laughs again. "Do yourself a favor and never say that to any girl you want to date or sleep with — that sleeping with one isn't any different than sleeping with another. And I'd wait until you actually try it to make judgement. The person you're with makes a huge difference — from how you feel about them emotionally to their responses and their reactions and their preferences and what you want from that particular person specifically. But you'll find out for yourself, some day." Is this what having siblings is like? Magnes is somehow turning into the little brother she never had, nor missed. "Keep your plans simple. Go back to school. Focus on one thing at a time. Don't try to force the relationship thing. Most of the time, it falls in your lap when you're not looking. You weren't looking for Claire when you went flying over the rooftops of Manhattan, right?"

"Yeah, you're right… Government demands, school, band, I'll focus on those things, and just kind of live my life. If Claire likes who I am, then, good, if not, well… We had a good run, right? I think that's what they say." Magnes idly rubs the back of his neck, then clears his throat. "One night I was feeling pretty bad, like, my stress levels hit a serious high; this is another secret, by the way. But um, I almost slept with Gillian, like, I was extremely close, but we came to our senses before we made a huge mistake."

As Magnes spills secret like a drunk spills his beer, Veronica chuckles. "Five months is quite a long time, for most people, especially when they haven't had a relationship before. It's an accomplishment. I haven't had a relationship that long since … well high school." She was one half of the school's most popular sweethearts, the royalty of the school before her life fell apart when her father was killed. "The one I'm in… it's complicated, due to my work. I don't really know how many months to count it in," she says with a chuckle.

"I can't say I'm not a bit anxious, I mean, we were so close. I always told Claire she was an evil tease, but getting amnesia is going pretty far." Magnes smiles fondly though, not exactly bitter, just remembering the girlfriend he had. "Honestly, if I wasn't so hung up on Claire, I'd just sleep over Delilah's house for a freakin' week. I just, don't know what to do. I don't even know if I have a girlfriend. I can't hold her to something she can't remember, but I don't wanna make her think she doesn't mean anything to me by saying I'll let her go so she can find herself either."

"Let her know you care, and that you're there as a friend, but you need to give her the space, too," Veronica suggests. "Look, I'm not good with relationships, I'm just telling you what I'd want. And I'm not normal, but then, neither is Claire, so who the hell knows." The pain is making her a little cranky, since the pain pill isn't kicking in yet. "I'd suggest talking to Dr. Sheridan about it when you get back — she might be able to guide you better than me, because I'm not good at this stuff. I'm not even sure why my fia — boyfriend likes me because I am a mess, Magnes." She didn't mean to use the fiance word… it's not like she can even wear the ring in public. She left it at home, for this mission, so she wouldn't lose it in the wilds of Argentina.

"No, you're right, I do need to give her the space. I'm just… afraid of what I might do with space. I mean, I've never had a girlfriend before Claire, except some crazy girl I kind of remember from the Company. I just, I feel like everything is cheating, I feel like I'm cheating on the old Claire who didn't choose to break up with me… Alright, maybe I should talk to Bella, maybe, but I do think you're right." Magnes doesn't push her almost-word-slip, if she doesn't want to say it then she doesn't want to, it's not his place to push! "Asking purely on opinion, what would you do if you were me? Oh, and off topic, but do you Twitter?"

"What," Veronica says, opening her eyes and staring at the man in disbelief, "exactly am I supposed to … what, tweet, Magnes? 'OMG I just bagged and tagged a precog, yay me?'"

"Hey, you do other stuff. I mean, women take baths with chocolate and roses and stuff, right?" Magnes' cheeks are flushed, awkwardly rubbing his neck again. Embarassed! "Or your thoughts, people tweet their thoughts… This is the dumbest question I ever asked, isn't it?"

"Roses and chocolate and …" Veronica rubs her eyes and laughs aloud, a weak sound that suggests the injury she mustered on with yesterday took more out of her than she let on. "I take five minute showers, Magnes. And be careful on Twitter. Don't say anything dumb that's going to let someone dangerous find you and hurt you, okay? You never know. There are technopaths and people … I don't even want to know what they could do with the information."

"I'm careful, though Abby freaks out like crazy if I even remotely say anything hinting at the government. But, I really am careful, I learned my lesson about spilling information." Magnes slids off the bed, stretching and reaching over to touch her shoulder, intending to lower her weight slightly, just enough to add some comfort. "You've given me a bit to think about. I'm sure in a few months, this is gonna seem like a bad dream."

"Right. Don't mention the Company or the government or God, anything about the president, there are always people filtering that shit," she says, yawning a bit as the painkiller begins to make her sleepy. "You'll be okay, Magnes. You have people that care about you, even if everything's not as clear as it should be. It never really is." Her life certainly isn't.

"Yeah, I just have to take off my Claire-colored glasses and see life beyond my limber girlfriend with perfect…" Magnes clears his throat, then heads to the door, offering her one last smile. "I just need to see life. Thanks, Veronica."

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