She Knows


bella_icon.gif rebecca2_icon.gif

Scene Title She Knows
Synopsis Bella comes in to check on Rebecca.
Date September 28, 2009

St. Luke's Hospital: Rehab Wing

Bella likes getting to know things she's not supposed to know. It's one of the best Company perks. While a Lovecraftian hero might warn her that some knowledge remains hidden for good reason, this is New York, NY, not Arkham, MA. Secrets are currency. Which is not to say that Rebecca Nakano's hospitalization is a total secret, but the only reason it comes to her attention is thanks to a feeler she put out in the local hospitals, trolling for any news of Refrain related incidents. Professional investigation, is all. A few phonecalls, and Bella's in the door of St. Lukes, and on her way to the rehab sector of the hospital, wearing a business casual ensemble complete with a checkered tie that really emphasizes the 'casual'. When she arrives at Rebecca's door, she takes care to knock first. This visit is semi-unofficial, which is to say unofficial, but with the official trappings required to make it happen at all.

It's been a week since Rebecca was transferred from the ICU where she was detoxing to the rehab wing of the hospital. Today she sits as she has sat most every day since being moved to this room: huddled up against the wall, blanket around her body as she hugs her knees to her chest and stares out the window. The thick metal bars that would pervent anyone from trying to flee in that direction are a constant reminder that she's still somewhat a prisoner of the hospital. The clacking of shoe soles against the linoleum of the hospital floor is not an usual sound for her. She's heard it day in and day out for the past several weeks. The difference is that this time, the clacks stop at her door as a figure darkens her doorway.

Rebecca turns her brown eyes towards the figure and gives a curious expression. She's not been allowed many visitors, mostly those from the precinct. No one in any official capacity. No one to tell her if she still has a job or not. "Do I know you?" Rebecca gets regular showers, but otherwise she hasn't taken any time for making herself presentable. Her hair is a mess, and of course the hospital gown provided does nothing for her fashion sense. It's not like she was all that fashion concious to begin with. One thing that may be noted is that Rebecca has asked that all shiny surface be covered and all mirrors be removed from the room, lest it trigger her ability. Suffice to say, she's not had any headaches since being brought in, but that could be because she hasn't has a postcognitive episode in that long.

Bella acts as if she is a guest and this is Rebecca's home, deferring to her dominance of the space. "No, you don't. My name is Doctor Sheridan, I'm a psychiatrist. Private practice, though. I'm not affiliated with the hospital. I heard about your case, and I wanted to offer my help. Pro bono, of course. May I come in?"

Rebecca doesn't move from her spot huddled up in the corner of her bed, back in the corner. She does nod at the request to enter her room. "Sure." Rebecca does straighten her spine just a little, though she keeps herself into a protective defensive posture, hugging her knees to her still. "There's a chair." She offers. The Japanese-American woman upon closer inspection doesn't look like she sleeps all that well. Of course, it could be the fact that her body, or at least her mind, is still craving the drug she'd gotten used to.

Bella enters the room, moving to take the chair, pulling it so she can sit facing Rebecca. She sets herself down, crossing her legs and bracing one knee in both her hands. "I have some questions for you but, first, do you have any questions for me? Who I am or what it is I do? I don't want to come at you from out the blue without at least giving you some idea of who I am. That is, if you care."
ORDER: It is now your pose.

The hard thing about being Rebecca Nakano is that she sees everything. She has a keen eye that basically screams for her to be a forensic tech. She tends to find evidence that others miss. That being said, what she has as far as being detail oriented about things, she lacks in dealing with actual people. She's shy and not much of a people person, tending to keep to herself. Her chin rests between her knees as she shakes her head, but after a moment reconsiders. "How did you hear about me?" The last thing she needs is for the rumor mill to be passing her name around.

"I have a friend in the psych ward here, someone I did rotation with at Mount Sinai. He thought I might be able to help. I specialize in Evolved psychology," Bella gives a small smile, "Which is to say, the effect of having an Evolved talent on individual psychology."

"So you're here because I have an ability? Because I'm evolved?" asks Rebecca. There's a slight posture change at the question, as she begins to build up the wall around her. It's not something she's all that comfortable with, her ability, however she has tried her best to use it to help others. It just has never really helped her. In fact, just the opposite. It only seems to cause her pain.

"I'm here because not every doctor has the experience necessary to understand the unique difficulties Evolved people face," Bella explains, her tone slightly more animated than the usual bland deepness psych ward doctors adopt, "And I'm here because Refrain dependency is something only the Evolved suffer from. Your situation is distinct; I wanted to offer you specialist help. If you want it."

Rebecca's gaze flitters over towards the window. There's a world out there, yet her world has been in here for the past few weeks. What if she goes out and can't keep away from Refrain? She doesn't want to be dependant on the drug to keep her from getting headaches and she's not even just not use her ability if it means helping someone.

But she's scared to use it again.

"I'll take the help," she says in her quiet voice. "Where do we start?" she asks, turning her attention back to the redheaded doctor.

"We start by your telling me how this all began. Both with your ability, and with Refrain," Bella says, posture straightening, attaining a 'getting down to business' sort of air. "When did each start, and what was your experience of the beginning?"

Rebecca thinks for a moment before she begins to speak. "I'd been working for the NYPD for some time. Then mandatory testing for the evolved gene came around and I had to take the test. I'd never had any inkling that I was evolved, but when the test came back positive, it really changed me. Then one day I had a experience as I saw things in a reflection that just wasn't there. It wasn't until later that I realized that I was looking into the past. That by looking into a reflective surface, I can see things that have happened in the room that I'm standing in. The only problem is that with the flashbacks came the verigo, the headaches and the nosebleeds." Hence the lack of shinies in her room. "Soon the pain was unbearable and the meds that I were prescribed just didn't work anymore. That's when someone suggested Refrain.."

"Why did they suggest Refrain? What effects were you told it had, and what effects did it have?" Bella inquires. Her questions are quick, given in the manner of one asking for elaboration on a story, but still wanting the story to continue.

"I don't really know why. I knew there were issues with the drug, and word had just begun to circulate about it being spread around. That it was dangerous. I told 'them' no, that I didn't want it, but when I got home I found three doses in my purse." Rebecca bites her lip for a moment as she feels the drug tugs at her will like it was on a leash. She knows she wants more. She wants to feel it inside her. She gives a small shudder before moving on. "My head was hurting so bad tears were streaming down my face and when I found them all I wanted was to take the pain away. And it did. If I had a vision, I could take the Refrain afterwards and the pain would be gone."

Bella leans forward, "So you took Refrain for pain management, due to your ability?" The connection between Refrain and the evolved is well established. It's connection to the abilities themselves, well, Bella hasn't been able to dig up any details as of yet. "What did it feel like? Did the pain go away? What were the drug's other effects?"

Sure. Just kill her by having her relive this stuff. She would nearly kill for a dose right now, but go ahead and tempt fate. Rebecca briefly brushes her tongue against her upper lip as it suddenly feels dry. "I'm not all that experienced with drugs, mind you. I would have these memories relived in vivid fashion. Everytime I would take it I would relive a happy time from my past." She hugs her knees tighter against her chest as she finishes speaking. "I guess it just made everything feel good. It didn't stop the pain from coming when I had my visions, but would take it away afterwards if I took some."

"How do you feel about your ability?" Bella says, head tilting, "It's remarkable, certainly, but it causes you considerable suffering."

That question takes a few moments before an answer comes. "I know it helps people, but it does bring me quite a bit of pain. At first, it wasn't so bad, but as time goes on it only got worse. Part of me wishes that I didn't have it, but another part of me is glad that it's been able to be of help. But it's only caused me so much anguish and pain that I can't help but wish it would go away. One day they tell me I have cancer and the next day they tell me I don't. How does that happen? I think my ability is messing with me now." Rebecca glances up at the woman across from her and her shoulders shrug slightly.

Bella nods, "It seems to be that the emergence of your ability is the root of your troubles, not that that is anything new to you. But it does suggest a course of action. Without the pain, the original reason for taking the Refrain will be gone. That may make phasing the Refrain itself out of your life easier. And the only way to avoid the pain, so far as I can tell from what you've told me, is not to use your ability."

Rebecca has noticed that. "I haven't had any pain since being here, but I've also not used my ability." She motions to all the shiny surfaces being covered by cloth and there is a void of mirrors, even in her restroom. It's all nice and good talking about stopping the use of her ability, but what if she could do something good by using it? "I guess I just don't understand how I could be given this ability and all it does is bring me pain."

"Questions like that are best put to a priest or a rabbi," Bella says, with a slanted smile, "I imagine the Book of Job would get liberally referenced. How difficult would it be for you to live your life away from reflective surfaces? How direct does your gaze have to be in order to trigger your ability? Right now we need to get you in a place where you can live your life relatively pain-free, so you can work towards staying drug-free. It's a temporary solution, but recovery is always a series of temporary stages."

Rebecca shakes her head. "I already live that way. In my apartment, I have no mirrors and nothing that could reflect. I carry a mirror for when I intentionally want to have a vision. When I walk down the street, I stare down at the sidewalk so I don't have to worry about looking at a reflection. As far as how it's triggered, it doesn't really matter. If I look at a reflective surface, I flash back. I can control how far back the vision goes, but I can't do much more than stop it, but even that takes some effort."

Bella purses her lips, "How much time have you spent on that kind of effort? Have you practiced with your ability?"

"With the pain that comes with it, very little. At first, I mean, when the pain was minimal I tried to control it a bit, but soon it just didn't seem worth it as the pain got worse," Rebecca explains.

"I wish we knew enough about Evolved abilities, so that we could set up a program that would help you control your ability better," Bella says, "And in the long term, that's really what you need: the control necessary to prevent you from falling into every reflective surface you encounter. For now, though, that's just too ambitious. How would you like to live your life, once you get out of here? Modest goals at first, things you think you can accomplish."

"To pick just one? Pain free would be nice." Rebecca admits. "I mean, if I have to stop using my ability to get there. But.." But then Rebecca loses that edge she has for her job. That little extra something she can pull out of her hat to try and help solve a case.

"But…?" Bella prompts.

"But I like it when something I see helps solve a crime. Brings someone to justice, or helps a victim. It's my job to look at all the evidence and try and piece together what happened, and if I have that something extra that'll help me piece it all together, then I should use it." Though with the tone of her voice it seems like maybe she would add 'shouldn't I?' to the end of that, but Rebecca doesn't.

"Generally speaking I applaud that logic," Bella says, nodding her agreement, "But do you know what happens when you carry it out to its ultimate conclusion?"

For the first time since Bella has arrived, Rebecca pulls an arm out from underneath the blanket and motions towards the room. "This happens." The arm is tucked back underneath almost as quickly. "I know the result if I do it." There's a defeated tone to her voice as if she really has no choice. "It may not matter much anyway, as I expect that I'll no longer have a job when I get out of here anyway."

Bella gives a single nod, "This," she agrees, "And while that sword of Damocles may be hanging over your head, you have a chance to get your life back. Your job… I can't speak to that, but you have a chance to reverse the slide you're on," she gestures at the room, "All this, the whole psychiatric edifice… I've never really liked it. It's sketchy, judging people not fit to take care of themselves. But if you're going to stand on your own, you have to do it right."

Rebecca nods.

She knows.

She truly knows.

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