That's Not It


rue_icon.gif shirley_icon.gif

Scene Title That's Not It
Synopsis Art and confessions don't do as much to smooth over a rocky start as one girl might want.
Date January 21, 2011

Bannerman's Castle: Shirley's Room

Shirley is sitting behind her desk, working on a drawing. It's one of many drawings, but this one is special. She's been working on it for pretty much as long as she's had the sketchpad, but plainly refuses to show it to anyone. She's currently unaware that it's getting closer to lunchtime, as she would've hidden it by now if she had realized such.

There's a quiet knock on the door just before it swings open to admit a tray-laden Rue Lancaster. Soup and crust of bread seem to be on the menu again, but at least the meal is decent and no one goes hungry. "Hey," the redhead greets in a far more subdued tone than their first meeting. "Brought you your food." She brings it over to the desk and sets it down carefully, peering over curiously. "What's that you're drawing?"

The teen is not quite fast enough to hide that drawing. Oops. It displays two feminine figures, one far taller than the other. They are embraced in a hug, and it seems they're making out. Who they're supposed to be is not quite obvious due to the poor quality, though the shorter one's shirt somewhat resembles the one Shirley is wearing today. It's not visible for long, though, as Shirley turns the drawing over, "N-nothing."

Rue's expression shifts from one of intrigue to one of confusion. "What was that?" The way the younger girl hid the drawing so quickly has the older woman's brow furrowing.

"Nothing!" Shirley says again, quite firmly, and a little nervously. She's obviously hiding something. "Thanks for bringing over the food, Rue. I appreciate all the stuff the Ferry is doing for me." Chaaaanging the subject! She dips some of the bread into the the soup, and then puts it into her mouth to start chewing.

Rue backs away from the desk slowly, her gaze narrowing. "You're free to draw whatever you like, but if that's some attempt at mocking me?" She lets it trail off. Her expression is more wounded than accusatory. "I know what you think of—" Hands come up in a gesture of surrender, and cessation. "Enjoy your lunch, Shirley. I'm gonna get out of your hair so you can get back to your drawing."

Oh, fuck. Shirley now realizes that Rue had seen the drawing, and well. She's not sure what to do… "W-wait!" She calls out, "That.. that's not it, honest…" Her breath speeds up, and her eyes are wide. She's visibly thinking what she'll do next, and by the paralyzed look on her face, she's not quite able to find out quite yet.

"Sure it isn't." Rue sniffs, perhaps a bit haughtily. "It's fine. Whatever. I don't really care. It's your art, your opinions. I'm secure in who I am, both as a member of the Evolved, and as a lesbian." She's about to head out the door, one hand on the knob, when she whirls around. All ginger curls and fury. "You know what else the Bible says, little girl? It says let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone." This time, her squint is unmistakably accusing. "Do you even know what that means?"

Fuck. Shirley feels this going in the wrong direction, and before she realizes it… she blurts out something she wasn't quite ready to admit to herself… even though she already knew it to be true… "I'm a lesbian too…" As she realizes what she's just said, her eyes widen and she starts to blush. She looks down and away from Rue, and she starts to fold her hands together nervously.

The response Shirley's confession garners is nothing short of sceptical. "Oh, so that's supposed to make it better? It's cool, I was just in the closet!" Rue shakes her head. "No. That doesn't make hateful words all right. Not ever. Do you have any idea how you made me feel? I think you're a confused little girl." Her hands find her hips, squaring off. "I'm sorry if you're confused by your sexual identity. But that's no excuse for what you said."

Rue's response makes Shirley's eyes well up with tears. "I'm sorry…" She whispers, squarely not looking Rue in the eyes, but rather looking at the ground. "I… I don't know what I was thinking…" She still doesn't know what she is thinking, "I realize I don't know you that well, Rue, but…" She glances to the upside down drawing, "I just … we seem … well …" And her voice stocks.

The only outward indication that Rue feels bad about Shirley's tears (which is not to say that she believes she made the other girl cry) is the visible working of her throat as she swallows. "We seem what?" Her hands move from her hips so she can cross her arms over her chest. She doesn't make a move to step forward and comfort the girl.

"We… we seem like… like we have a lot in common…" Shirley manages to say between her tears and sniffs, still not looking Rue in the eyes. It's the closest she can come to a confession of her real emotions. Admitting she's a lesbian was already a huge step for the girl, admitting she's got a particular girl she's interested in is too big a step at the moment. Combined with the fear of rejection, it's not going to be a real confession of love.

"I think you're wrong," Rue says, perhaps a bit more coldly than she even intended to. Now, she reaches for the door again, pulling it open. "I think you're confused," she repeats. "I hope you figure yourself out."

Once outside the room, Rue closes the door shut behind her audibly, but not with quite enough force for it to be called a slam. Like the last time she left Shirley's room, she sucks in a deep breath. Except this time, she doesn't put her smile back on. She runs down the hallway, the soles of her shoes slapping against the hard floor heedless of the way the sound echoes off the walls.

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