Participants:
| Scene Title | The Best You Can |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | Koshka gets some cheering after the meeting with her father doesn't go as planned. |
| Date | December 27, 2010 |
The snow lies thick around the Garden, knee deep in some places, and higher where it's drifted up in the wind. But there's evidence of life with tracks leading away from the house and to various places, away to the real world and back toward the woods behind the cottage. The firepit's been used recently, the snow surrounding it melted to a frosty crust and the logs still showing black devoid of snow. Thankfully, though, the storm has blown over and the stars are out in a clear sky of deep black-blue.
Koshka has spent most of the day outside, exploring the woods and keeping to herself. Much like she had yesterday. And pretty much since Brian had brought her back from the city. Now, cold and wet, the youth trudges back to the cottage. Time to return, find food and warm up. Maybe find her sleeping bag and continue to stew in her thoughts.
The front door to the cottage opens, bringing not only a teenager inside but a swirl of snow and cold air. After a stamp of each foot to leave the white stuff behind, Koshka closes the door behind her and sets to untying shoes and removing her jacket.
The drift of cool air causes one of the less expected occupants to develop distinct goosebumps along her arms, legs, and the back of her neck. She's already gone about the business of making hot cocoa which she needs all the more now that the door was opened. She'd arrived not long ago, taking with her a few necessities today. There's no reason to just totally move everything at once. Especially with how they've intended things to go down. Playing a street mouse dictates some time in the city. Assuming all plans come to fruition.
With a high-pitched whistle, her head cranes to face the door with a lopsided grin. "Kosh~" she greets in a singsong voice. Her large cream-coloured oversized sweater and dark relaxed fit blue jeans give the illusion that she's completely relaxed. In actuality, she's a little unsettled, but not really in a bad way.
"Come! Sit! Uh… there's hot water in like the kettle and power on the countertop— "
Ferrymen> I'm not a kid!> Kendall hehs. That's fine too. You want RP, I want RP, win-win! :D
Ferrymen> Amato has left this channel.
Koshka's hands pause in removing her shoes at the greeting. She hadn't expected anyone to here, in the house perhaps but she'd managed to dodge everyone fairly well. Then, as though she'd never stilled, her shoes are removed and jacket hung near the door with her scarf and hat.
"Hi, Sami," the youth greets pleasantly enough. She moves toward the kitchen, glancing toward the woman. Koshka says nothing else, though her silence isn't exactly the brooding sort. And she goes about finding a mug and making her own mug of cocoa.
Hazel eyes follow Koshka towards the kitchen, but revert back to the mug moments later, focusing on the beverage and, in essence, something to focus on. "It's cold out there today," she observes quietly towards her hot cocoa, even as that musical cadence to her voice remains.
Her lips twitch into a gentler, nearly apprehensive smile when she pries her gaze away from her cocoa. "So. I… heard… " she doesn't have the heart to focus on things that didn't turn out and so she latches onto something more positive, "…that you might be thinking of living at the Lighthouse. Or Lighthouse. There may be no 'the'… I can't remember…"
It is cold outside, but not something that Koshka seems overly concerned with. There's also a ton of snow and lots to see, on top of all the thinking she's been doing. Besides, she's formulating cocoa right now, mixing in powder and hot water until it's just the right consistancy.
"Yeah," Koshka answers as she returns to the living room, mug in hand. "Kinda had a well, Brian said I could live with you guys and.. the Lighthouse thing." Still pondering over it, though it's more and more seeming like a good idea, for now. "—What do you think?"
The cocoa is sipped gingerly for fear of burning her tongue as Sam shifts in her seat, looking over her shoulder back at Koshka. The cocoa is lowered and left to sit on a nearby table as Sami hmmms quietly to herself. She tucks her legs underneath her, sitting criss-crossed on her chair while she leans back, her flexibility serving her well in this regard.
"I think— look… I don't really know your story. I don't know where you've been and stuff, but I think having a family and a place to belong are the most important things. I had… wait— have— a brother and a sister. And while they can be annoying and they can sometimes drive me crazy, I really love them too." She pauses as her head tilts and her fingers curl tighter around the mug, "The people we care about, who make us feel needed, they make life… good. Worth living." She shrugs, "Y'know?"
Lowering herself onto the sofa, Koshka looks up at Sami. "My dad sorta cares. Kind of, like— I mean he adopted me and stuff. Gave me a home and watched out for me." The normal things, parents and guardians do. She tilts her head slightly, eyes going to her cocoa. Why couldn't he just have listened and understood that she was there for Christmas, but there had to be allowances for it.
The youth places her mug on the table as well, then draws her knees up toward her chest as she sits back. "I just… I want a place to belong… —Brian says I'd be helping and learning things. With you guys." More than she seems to be here.
"I think…" Sam's gaze turns downward as a nearly secretive smile pulls at the edges of her lips, "I think there are some people in life who are good at making people feel like they belong." The smile grows as her gaze seeks Koshka's, "There are some people who can spot people that are invisible and make them feel important, and in the process, in a way, almost help them become important." She hmmms, "Does that make any sense? It's like… we matter because someone makes us feel like we matter." Again she shrugs.
"And you belong with us. We're like you. We can do extraordinary things and we don't want the world to be worse for it, you know? Like… I can phase through things. I could use that for bad stuff. Like stealing or whatever. But I want to help people with it. I want to help people out of scary places and walk them right through the walls." Assuming she'll be able to walk with people soon, that is.
"I want to help people, too." Koshka looks up at Samara. "I thought.. maybe I'd try to go back to see my dad on New Year's, count down with him. I don't think he wants me there, though. He didn't say anything, just… walked away." Maybe it's time for her to do the same. It's been nearly five months since she'd seen Elijah, nearly five months and too much has changed to fall back into the routine they'd had before.
"For now" the teen begins carefully, watching Sami as she speaks. "For now and as long as I can. I want to ..I want to live with you guys, and work and… All that Lighthouse stuff."
"We're delighted to have you as long as you want to stay— " Samara virtually sparkles as she sips her cocoa again with an Mmmmmmm. "Honestly, I think the reason Lighthouse works— and you have to know, I'm only very very newly involved— " although she'd watched from the sidelines as a ghost girl for awhile, "the reason it operates so well is because everyone lives in community." She pauses while she sets her mug back on the table. "I think people often forget that living in community is like being responsible to other people, not just benefitting from the talents and skills of people around you." She shoots Koshka a half-smile.
"And your dad? I bet you he wanted you more than he let on. Look, adults make mistakes sometimes. I imagine it was hard for you to go see him, but it was probably hard for him too. Like… he misses you. He wanted you home with him— you told me that— he was likely in shock trying to process you even being there— "
"That's what Monica was saying," Koshka points out with just a ghost of a grin. "She called it solidarity. And told me to listen to what Brian had to say." Which, once finished feeling sorry for herself, she actually started to do. Likely that's part of why she's been away so much, spending time outside alone but for her thoughts.
Then, back to her father. Koshka sighs and shrugs. "I guess, maybe. He kept holding it over my head how much he did for me. I just.. I finally told him to stop, because he didn't have to adopt me or do anything for me. He coulda left me where I was." Though that future would certainly have turned out more grim than the one she faces now. "But— I'll try and make it right again. Or something."
"Hey!" Sami interjects, but her voice stays gentle, a quiet reprimand comparatively, with a shake of her head, "People make choices. The only ones you ever have to live up to are your own. No one can make you feel guilty without your permission. They made their choices. You made yours. And as long as you did the best you could with what you had— " she reaches out to squeeze the teen's shoulder, "— there's nothing else you could do. You're a good kid. But you're still a kid. He's the adult in this. And while I don't pretend to know what happened, I know that adults can change their world more than kids can." And then with a small sigh and a softened smile she tacks on, "And I think guilt is a parent's bread and butter. My mom is still trying to guilt me for spending Christmas here."
"Just do the best you can, given the circumstances. Sometimes things happen that we can't control. Do your best and recognize it won't be as good as your best at other times… you know?"