To Be A Monster



And featuring words from:


Scene Title To Be A Monster
Synopsis Thalia wonders if she and Isabelle are more alike then she thought when she finally begins to read Isabelle's diary.
Date May 8, 2010

A closet somewhere in St. Lukes

It had sat unopened and unread since the time she found it in the belongings that Abby let her go through all that time ago when she first came to the city and told the blonde bartender that she was Isabelle’s sister. She didn’t get to rifle through things until later of course, after the DNA tests and what not but still, she came upon the diary the first time she looked into the box of stuff that was her older sister’s. The woman she would never know.

Part of her was afraid to read the dairy and see what her sister was like. What would she find if she fell into her sister’s life through the pages?

All these thoughts and questions rung through her head as she tries to stay calm, locked away in a closet in the hospital. She’s surprised nobody else tried this place for somewhere quiet to relax and get away from the scene that is the hospital as a whole. Not even a hormonal teenage couple is interested in this place? That’s pretty awesome for Thalia.

The young woman sighs as she’s curled up against the wall staring down at the diary in the dim lighting and then she lifts the cover and comes to the first page.

So. My therapist that the judge appointed me told me to write down my thoughts and feelings and daily happenings as a way to let my aggression out. Let me tell you.. if I could, I’d burn that judge and this ‘therapist’. They both make me sick, so I beat a girl’s head in. She deserved it, she called me a “Bitch.” And while that I am, she didn’t have to be so painfully honest with me. Shit. So I guess this diary will serve as my confidant, right? Man, this book is so big.. it can probably fit my whole life until I die. But anywho, my name is Isabelle. I’m a bartender at Rapture, where I work for the utterly gorgeous Eliot. And I’ve tried to get him in bed a few times but he doesn’t really fall for it. Damn that charmer. Okay, that’s all. I’m over this already.

Thalia blinks as she looks down at the diary and shakes her head. If only Isabelle had knew how spot on she was being. Her eyebrows furrow at what her sister wrote. So, everyone said she was always in trouble. Had a bit of a temper, and so did Thalia so the young woman can relate to her late sibling. With breath held she turns to the next entry.

Dear Journal,

She said that I should make it like I’m addressing a person. Well I’m not naming this fucking thing. So Journal it will be. Okay, now that is sorted. Weirdest fucking thing happened today.. I was walking in the park and what do I see but a younger woman (okay, I’m not old but still.) surrounded.. by pigeons.. what.. the fucking.. fuck. That was gross. And then the little crazy was acting crazy, ya know? She was a strange chick, then a damn raven or crow or something came flying after me. I was about to have me some roasted bird. I’ll tell you that. Then I might this guy later that week and.. I kind of made a date. A ‘sparring’ date. Yeah, it ended up with some hot fighting moves and then pizza. Ahh it was perfect. And Diego (that’s his name) has pets! Just like me! Maxine and Roxy had a really good playdate. And I kissed him. What! I couldn’t help it, he’s totally hot and uber dark and mysterious. No, really he’s a nice chocolate color.

Thal laughs aloud as she reads that entry and she closes the diary briefly with her thumb in the middle. Her sister was crazy, that much she has gathered so far. But.. she feels like she’s the one that Isabelle is talking too. If the only the two had known the other had existed.. maybe things would be different. Onto the next entry.

Dear Journal,

It’s the second year anniversary of the Bomb.. the day that changed life as we know it for everyone. I don’t really partake in the festivities of that day. You can’t lose anyone to a huge explosion if you don’t have anyone.. right? Well today, I decided to switch it up. I went to a church for a memorial service thing and then they showed up. I don’t know their names.. but there was something about them. It was like I was only seeing the three of them. The white haired woman looked like she could kick ass. I’d love to take her in a tango. The obvious leader, he was hot was well. But the other one.. the darker skinned one. He was my type of boy, a bad boy. The ultimate hotness. And then they identified themselves as PARIAH. The terrorist group? I like their style, they aren’t just lying down and letting the government take what he wants. They are fighting back. I have one mission right now.. and that’s get apart of that faction.

Thalia’s eyes widen slightly. Nobody said she was apart of PARIAH, or expressed interest. Is that what the man that came to visit her the other day meant? That she was a solider and apart of the fight? “Damn..” she says softly and then she’s looking down towards the next entry.

Dear Journal,

I’ve met them officially. Karl, Erim and Melinda that is. The members from PARIAH that came to crash the memorial. Karl is the hot leader type, I’d bang him. Erim is.. Erim is just really really hot and smart, I think. Right? Melinda! I don’t think she likes strangers too much. They bring me into the fold.. very easily. It must be a set up or trap. That’s the only way to explain this. Well.. we’ll see I guess. I need to help the Evolved. Nobody cares enough to do anything to help the Evolved community. PARIAH fights for them. We fight for them, and every Evolved man, woman and child will know our name. We will not to stopped. Plus, they need someone like me.

The younger Ashford girl blinks as she reads the entry and then she’s looking around the room as if someone is trying to read over her shoulder and see what she is reading. Her sister was a terrorist? She always knew that Isabelle walked on the dark side a little bit, but then so does Thalia. And the fact that Thalia has joined up with Messiah makes her pause. We really must be related. She thinks to herself as she turns to the page to another entry.

Dear Journal,

Screw that.

Dear Journy,

I think that’s a better name. Shit I named you like she told me too. Plus I hate spelling the whole J word out. Nyeah, I’m lazy. Anywho. I had one of my first missions for PARIAH. It involved fire, some people, breaking and entering and a bomb. Yeah, it was pretty heavy and dramatic stuff. I didn’t.. I didn’t even feel bad. Sometimes I think that people are right when they call me a soulless monster. I feel no guilt.. and no pain for what I did. Maybe the government isn’t the monster.

Maybe I am?

Thalia shuts the diary as she reads that last line and she looks up towards the ceiling as she shoves the diary back into her messenger bag. “Damnit Izzy.” She says before curling up and putting her head on the messenger bag as a pillow.

She has a lot to think about, including the fact that if Isabelle was a monster..

Is she a monster too?

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