Participants:
| Scene Title | Unfit For Duty |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | The two detectives talk about a little of this and that. |
| Date | October 19, 2009 |
The New York Police Department Head Quarters is an old stone building, rennovated many times over the years. The plaster walls are not as cracked and in need of repair as the various Precinct buildings around the city. The fluorescent lights give the room a rather sterile glow. Old posters, civic reminders, duty rosters and newspaper clippings are tacked up on the walls, rustling every time one of the doors opens. A high, wooden desk sits on the north wall, manned by two clerks, who records all visitors and arrests.
The way out to the street lies to the south, while doors to the offices of the Head Quarters lie to the northwest.
It has been a surreal couple of weeks for the redheaded detective, with all the intense questioning from the department's shrink and Coren's resigning. Everything just seemed.. weird. So when she limps her way up the stairs into the large room that houses the detectives, she feels… numb to Elisabeth. It's like Cassidy is just not feeling anything at the moment.
With cane in hand, Cassidy limps her way through the room to the desks that her and Coren had been sharing for a good six months. That thought actually gets a bit of amusement out of her and a smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. Coming to stop at those desks she notices a plastic box sitting on her desk and the smile falls away, the numbness returning. "Might as well get this done with." Cassidy murmurs softly to herself, reaching to pull her chair out and laying the cane on Coren's desk. After some maneuvering she drops into the chair and pulls open a drawer and start shiting through the stuff in it, occasionally dropping something in the box.
Elisabeth has already heard through the grapevine — bad news travels damn fast, especially when it's happening to someone in Cassidy's situation. It's not exactly surprising to the blonde, but … Even as she walks into the squad room, she knows exactly what she'll find. She's carrying two cups of something in her hand — steaming cups. And she walks up, making sure that Cassidy can see her in her periphery before approaching close enough to set the cup of decadent gourmet hot chocolate in front of the woman who, Elisabeth regrets to realize, is likely not to be anywhere nearby for a fun girls' night again. "Hey you," she says quietly.
Eyes focus on the cup and then moves to her friend, a small smile touching her lips, "Hey, girlie." She drops a folder in the box and picks up the cup. "God that smells good." She picks up the cup with both hand and inhales deeply, only to sigh. "So you heard? No longer fit for duty. Underlying suicidal tendencies. Deep psychological trauma." Cassidy gives a soft laugh, though there is no humor in it. "Even Coren agrees… and admittedly I do too, even though I don't feel like I am. Even right now, I'm far from thinking about it." She gives a small shake of her head and lifts the cup to blow on the hot liquid before taking a sip. "Oooh that's good."
Pulling Coren's chair around to sit down, Liz says quietly, "I've thought about it." Her own cup is set on the desk. "I thought about eating the gun," she admits quietly, putting a bubble around the two of them. "When the nightmares were so bad that I couldn't close my eyes… when I'd find myself sitting in the closet or the bathroom with every light in the place blazing, freezing to death even under a scalding hot shower. I thought about giving up. And sometimes….. sometimes I still do." She sounds… ashamed. "Between the pills and the dreamwalker…. I think I must hide it pretty well most of the time. No one seems to realize that it's still…. kind of like walking a tightrope to be out here. And harder still because… I don't remember seeing the World Trade Center fall. I just remember… the aftermath. And the Municipal Building has made sure I have to take far more pills than I did before."
"It helped having Coren there in the beginning. Surprisingly this link was what kept the nightmares at bay for the most part." Cassidy gives a small sigh and shakes her head, fingers of one hand reach up to comb through red hair, "But even that isn't helping. I had thought about your offer for someone to wipe the memories, but I don't want to risk other things. And people have recovered without help before. The medication will help, too. " Another careful sip and she studies the woman who has been her closest friend for sometime. "I am going to really miss you though, even if this isn't suppose to be forever." The first edge of emotion coloring her tone. She knows through that mental bond that Coren told Liz what he's planning for his redheaded partner.
Looking at the redhead, Elisabeth says quietly, "I hope not, Cass. I really, truly hope not. I'm gonna miss you more than I can possibly say." She smiles a little, a sad edge to her face. "It's….been a long time since I had a friend I could cut loose with."
"You and me both. Between you and Coren, I actually remember what it's like to be human and not lost in this damn job." Setting the cup on the desk, she goes back to shifting through the drawer. "I mean. I've never been out of the country before, so that is kind of exciting. Seeing where Coren came from and all, but I was definitely miss cutting loose with you." Glancing sideways at Liz with a smug smile. "Though I imagine Coren will be thankful." She glances down the hall and actually breaks into a real smile, something she doesn't do much of lately. "There are somethings that he feels do not need to be discussed over pictures of margaritas." Cassidy's eyes flick back to Elisabeth, she leans over and whispers, "He doesn't want me to go into a drunken discussion of our exploits or compare him to some other guy I slept with." There is a wince and she chuckles, head ducking and sifting begun again.
Elisabeth rolls her eyes. "That is NOT what pitchers of margaritas are for!" she objects. "They're for ….. making sure you get what you want out of it! You know… 'hey, have you tried this'!" And then she grins cheekily at Cassidy. "I mean, Christ…. you can't compare men. You really can't. The mechanics might be the same, but the feelings and the … well, the link you have — even if it's just a friend! — is entirely different. Comparing, as an example, Felix and Richard would be like apples and oranges! Men are so dumb."
"Yeah I know." Cassidy smirks. "And boy.. that link makes a world of difference." There is another wince and she chuckles again. "Sorry." Though who she is giving the half ass apology too is unclear. The smile falls away a bit at a thought, "I really don't think it has sunk in yet, that.. I'm not going to be a detective anymore. I still feel kind of numb about it. I actually expected to be a complete mess about it.. but nothing yet." Her brows drop and she frowns slightly. "Maybe it just doesn't feel as important as it did. There is just so very much that has happen lately. I don't know Liz. Maybe it'll hit me later down the line."
The glances around the squad room and purses her lips, "I haven't even told my mom yet.. Or even called her since it happened. I haven't even told her about Coren, cause that would probably freak her out more." Cassidy sighs, leaning back in her chair. "I know I should.. But god.. she's marrying.. sorry married… someone who is a prime candidate for Humanis First."
With a grimace, Elisabeth says quietly, "I don't know what to tell you. I think…. I'd like to think that any parent faced with the knowledge that their child is different would react…like my dad did." She shrugs a little. "But while I was teaching at the high school? I saw a lot of parents who didn't. It's … a call only you can make. Hell… I still haven't told my father about what happened. I have this… mental image of what he'd do. ANd it's not pretty, and it involves a lot of things like … making a bunch of noise and maybe hounding the governor's office, and assorted things like that." She grimaces. "My dad knows a lot of the movers and shakers in this town, even though he's not in any way high-profile."
Listening Cassidy nods slowly, "I'll probably just… send her an email or something. Tell her about going to live in England for a time with this great guy. I won't tell her he's her age." She gives a slow shrug. "I know she knows about what happened. My name was all over the damn evening news. I just haven't called her to tell her myself." A few more items are added to the box. "We won't be leaving right away, I know there are people that still need to talk to us about the case and all. I imagine there will be all sorts of questions about the link Coren and I have. I'm just glad we won't have to worry about being split as partners cause of that thing."
"Speaking about the case.." Cassidy starts after a moment of silence. "The girl that saw where I was…. is she easily found?" There is caution in her tone, even though she looks hopeful.
Elisabeth hesitates and asks warily, "Why?"
"I.. want to thank her.. apologize for what she had to have seen." Cassidy gives a small smile. "If she hadn't have given you the break…." The words trail off and she looks down at the drawer she's been going through and closes it, only to open the next. "Mostly, I want to thank her for getting me out of that place."
Now the blonde relaxes and she says quietly, "I'll pass the word along. She…. is one of the reasons we located Ivanov too. And she also located two more hostages of Humanis First last night." Elisabeth grimaces. "The girl's seen more in the past month than any young woman should ever see."
Cassidy looks over at Elisabeth, brows lifting a bit, "I do not envy her that ability. It seems one hell of a burden. But yeah, pass on that we'd like to meet her to thank her. Not sure if enough people do that for others." Cassidy takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "Subject change.. before I start flashing back. It happens sometimes when I talk about those days, and I really don't want to force Coren out of his meeting, they might not take it well."
Elisabeth chuckles softly. "Okay! Subject change." She hesitates and then says…. "So… how about those Giants?" Yeah… she's got not a single clue what else to talk about right now!
Cassidy can't help but laugh, "Okay, harder to do then it sounds. "A smirk tugs at the corner of her mouth as she observes the other woman. "How is Han Solo doing anyhow? I feel bad offering what help we can and then taking off like that, not that I imagine he minds." A few more files are added to the box, before that drawer is closed and Cassidy climbs to her feet. Balancing on one foot, she starts plucking personal items off her and Coren's desk, placing them gently in the bin. "When you see him…." She stops for a moment as she pushes some memories aside. "..tell him thank you for not killing us." There is a bit of a grimace at saying that.
There is a blink and Elisabeth stares. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asks, flummoxed. She's grateful that she has the bubble up at this point. "When did that happen?"
"One night Az…. you know who went to talk to your guy." Cassidy skims over the part that it was as Liz. "Richard threatened to take away his toys.. me and Coren, with a bullet to the head. It's part of the reason Az… her took me when he did." There is a shudder that goes through the woman and she's quiet for a moment. Letting out a deep sigh finally she murmurs. "Sorry. Anyhow, I don't blame him for it, since he was doing it to protect you. I just… I'm glad he didn't, for obvious reasons."
"Oh…. oh, GOD." Like she needed that on her conscience. The reret, the guilt, the shock is full-blown. Felix being reckless was because of her, and now this?? Elisabeth can't breathe. It's the first true anxiety attack she's had in a couple of weeks.
Cassidy cringes away from the slap of emotions from the woman, taking a stumbling step back and setting down heavily in her chair as her bad foot can't take the sudden weight still. "Shit… Liz, I'm sorry. I should have known better." Fingers grip the arms of the chair tightly and she closes her eyes, head turned away from the blonde detective as she tries to keep her own emotions at bay, not wanting to add her's into the mix.
Struggling to pull it into control, especially here in the squad room, Elisabeth fumbles for the bottle of pills in her pants pocket, popping one of them into her mouth and dry-swallowing it. As she fights to catch her breath, she shakes her head slightly. "I'm…. God, Cass, I'm so sorry," she gasps.
There is a soft humorless chuckle, "No reason to be sorry, Liz. Seriously…." Cassidy takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly trying to relax herself. "One good thing about my leaving, we won't have this problem. Hopefully, by time I'm back we won't have this problem. I know I can't feel my last boyfriend anymore." Leaning forward, she pushes the box aside and rests her arms on her desk. "So that's something at least. Doesn't mean it won't come back again, but… with hope we'll both be in better minds by then." Rubbing the fingers of one hand across her forehead, she says "i wish I knew my my ability did this.. This latching on to people thing. It's frustrating at times. I count my blessings everyday it wasn't someone else. I got really lucky with Coren."
Cassidy's calm helps Liz calm some too, which is a good byproduct. The blue eyes seek out the redhead's gaze, and she says softly, "Maybe because you need people to trust and those instincts you trust more than your gut." She shrugs a little. "Coming from the situation you had down there, I can't say I blame you much. But considering we've both been tortured? Yeah… probably not good to be around one another right now." She smiles a little.
"I'm sorry I didn't mention it once you were back. And I'm sorry you had to find out like you did." Cassidy offers in returning, mirroring that small smile. "But you were going through so much and I thought you might not take the news too well." She props her chin on her hand, the cuff of her sleeve dropping slightly to expose a couple of the pick scars. "But it did tell them you were still alive when they were trying to find you. A hell of a way to find out though." She gives a soft woof of air, "It had it use, but now I think we both need it to stop. Coren doesn't get that luxury, but he doesn't rightly care. He actually prefers it this way. Have to see how he feels ten - twenty year down the line." She flashes the other woman a toothy grin.
Elisabeth laughs softly. "Considering the fact that you're all googly-eyes over one another, it's probably good for you both to get out of here for a while," she comments.
Cheeks color a bit, Cassidy looks away and rolls her eyes a bit. "Yeah.. well. I guess. Spare you all from the newly wed type stuff, huh?" Since if you go by the vision they got, they are in a sense married. "Even after almost six months of having me in his head, this relationship has just thrown it into a new level. It's going to take time to get use too." Leaning forward, she murmurs softly to Liz like there is some big conspiracy. "Got to admit it's cute to see a man Coren's age get all googly eyes. You would think he'd be past all that." Then she leans back again, her chair creaking, "Anyhow like I said, I've never been out of the United States. So that will be nice. I am so very much dragging him all over Europe."
There's a chuckle, and Liz says, "Send pictures and postcards, lady. I'll be envying you." She hesitates and says quietly, "And will you do something for me? It's morbid, I know… but I'm going to ask anyway, since you won't be here."
"You know I will." Cassidy says gently, giving the woman an affectionate smile. "You'll have all the info to contact me, plus I know how to get you as well." Her smiles fades a bit at the question, "If I can, sure anything. What's up?"
Elisabeth shrugs slightly and says, "You heard the news that the Vanguard remnants may have a nuclear weapon, right?" She hesitates. "I'd like to send some things to England with you, if you don't mind. Will you just keep them safe and if… something happens to me while we're out there in this round of end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it shit, make sure my dad gets it? I'd… feel better if it were out of town."
"More then willing, girl." Cassidy gives a firm nod of her head. "Just drop it off at our place, or here, I think we still have a few things we have too do. Like talk to IA, or I think we do. Pretty sure we do." Her eyes seem to unfocus a moment, "Yeah, most definitely. So it's not like we're fleeing the country right away. Soon though."
Elisabeth nods to Cassidy and smiles. "All right. That's fine." She grimaces at the mention of IA. "Yeah… they're investigating me, I think." She frowns slightly. "I'm honestly not sure. But …. I guess try to keep me out of it, if you can. Don't get yourself in trouble on my behalf, though," she says quietly. "If you have to burn me…. well." She shrugs. "It's the risk I took when I came in." She moves to pick up her own cup and stand up. "Let me know when you want to have dinner, okay? I'll be moving back into my place at the end of the week, so I'll cook."
"If I get into trouble not too much more they can do except toss me in jail and I don't think anything I did will put me there. And they already canned me." Cassidy, pushes herself up to her feet, balancing on her good foot and reaching for her cane. "He should be out of that meeting soon, I'm going to go meet him, make him take me to lunch." The young woman grins, but then it falls away. "Yeah, I'll give you a call when things are a bit less hectic. At least see you one last time before we go." Leaning heavily on the cane for a moment Cassidy gives her friend a soft smile. "Just make sure you take care of yourself and keep me up to date on things." She glances around, "Not like we have to worry about my job anymore. I'll call you tonight.. or at least send you a text about dinner."
"I will, Cass." Elisabeth sighs. "What a mess. And I gotta meet a new partner this week, too. Christ…. " She nods. "I'll talk to you tonight, then. I better get back to work."