Participants:
| Scene Title | You're In Ruins |
|---|---|
| Synopsis | As usual, Quinn finds the best way to express her feelings through song. Ygraine is there to be as supportive as ever. |
| Date | November 12, 2011 |
Pollepel Island has seemed quiet the last few days. The reasons aren't consistent - some people are resting, others mourning. Some are busy, some are sleeping. Some are trying to stay out of sight, some are packing to leave. Everyone is coping with the last few days differently, and it's led to Bannerman's Castle being even more quiet than it normally is.
Except for, of course, one corner of the castle's living area.
"Are we lost, fading away?
Trapped in our delirium
With nothing left to adore
Endless midnight we abhor
What else is in store?"
There, Robyn Quinn sits on the edge of a bed, her bright red acoustic guitar resting over her knee and finger strum and pluck up and down the strings.
"I was told
Kid, you can't win
All the nights that come
Lose all you've ever been"
Hearing her play music the last two days since she finally woke up hasn't been unusual - it's been the thing she's been most commonly doing, in fact. But for most of yesterday and the day before, it had been the last remaining songs Else Kjelstrom had written before her death in the drainage ditch in Cambridge.
Today, though, she's playing something else. The cadence is different, the emotion behind it rawer. She isn't playing something she's piecing together from the last memories of a dead woman.
"And I was told
Give up the fight
Nothing we can do
To stop the dying of the light"
Robyn Quinn is writing music again. This song, she's been playing fragments of throughout the day, trying to find the right melody, the right chords, the right lyrics. It's after the last line that she abruptly stops play, a twang ringing out from the strings as she moves to silence them with her palm. A sigh escapes her laps as she reaches up to adjust her sunglasses, and then pulls a notebook up to her knee, scrawling words and tablature.
Able to get in and out of places more freely than almost anyone remaining to either the Ferry or Endgame, Ygraine has spent the last couple of days travelling, scouting, crawling, hiding, and relaying messages. The leathers that had been so glossily clean a few days ago - a never-worn present to herself after escaping the Dome, brought out especially for the Ark mission - are now streaked with many miles of dirt. The woman herself looks pale and drawn, and tired to the bone… but she moves with a predatory edge to her gait that was not there before her months of subterranean and combat training.
She did, however, come to a halt for some little while, eyes closed and lower lip caught between her teeth as she listened to that voice raised in song. A slow, unsteady breath follows the guitar's final twang… then she forces one foot in front of the other, moving close enough to deliver a gloved-knuckle rap-a-rap to the doorway.
The faint sound of grumbling gives way to a yelp of surprise, followed by the dissonant tawning of more strings after the knock rigns out. A loud sigh, and a groad. "Come on in," Quinn calls out to whomever is on the other side, setting aside the guitar and picking up the long stick she's been using as a makeshift can.
She rises slowly to her feet, a small groan issuing forth - most of her stiff hurts but it's notably better than the previous two days - and turns to look towards the door expectantly. "Sorry if I'm bein' too loud," she remarks as the door opens. "Didn't mean t' bother anyone this time, I swear."
There's a distinct hesitation… then the black and midnight blue figure (topped with hair dyed the red tone Quinn talked her into trying) steps into view, a nervous half-smile on her pallid, drawn features. "I'm glad you made it," Ygraine says softly.
Quinn's breath hitches in her throat as Ygraine moves into view, eyes widening behind her sunglasses. The stick is tossed off to the side - walking stick, I don't need a walking stick! - and a hesitant smile forms on her face. "I've rarely been happier t' see a familiar face," Quinn offers back. Ygraine is one of the few people she could possibly be happier to see than she had been February Lancaster - though it was perhaps better she ran into her first.
It makes Quinn much less likely to breakdown on Ygraine.
"Y' made it out in one piece, then? I wasn't sure, last I heard-" from Doyle, that he and Ygraine had split up. That's a bitter memory to pull up though, so with a wrinkle of her nose she tries to force it back down. "What bring you 'round these parts? I figured you'd be smarter than that, Yggy." Borrowing part of Rue's nickname for the Briton offers her a bit of levity, making her smile a bit more genuine.
"Rarely, huh? So you have been happier?" As so often, Ygraine flounders for security in the face of emotion, trying to hide behind levity. Then she steps forward, tugging off her gloves before holding out her hands. "'My' group got out into the subway tunnels. There was a direct link to the reactor chamber. I… carried Tamara out over one shoulder. Remi helped me get an injured scientist out, though she was in a pretty bad way herself. One lab technician survived down there" - Darren-fashion, anyway - "and Graeme managed to up and out by the hole we came in by. None…." She gulps, blinks, then finds her voice again. "None of us wound up at the main extraction point."
Quinn's feigned smile falters a bit, first at joke - harmless, but in Quinn's current state it pierces unexpectedly - and then again at the mention of the main extraction point. Quinn shakes a bit, and then steps forward. Her initial movement is to push Ygraine's hands aside. It might seen callous or mean, were it not for the deep hug that follows, arms encircling the other woman and pulling her as tight as Quinn can manage before parts of her start to hurt.
"Well thank fuckin' God that that," she says quietly, burying her face into Ygraine's shoulder. Probably a bit awkward with the sunglasses on her face. She knows that Ygraine wasn't there - Quinn was there, after all. But that doesn't make her less happy for that to have been the case.
Ygraine's leathers creak in response to the hug - and are decidedly aromatic to press up against in that sort of fashion - but their wearer returns the hug after only a momentary hesitation, the two-armed *strength* of grip something Quinn has not felt since before the Dome came up and opened the way to more than one kind of separation. "I… have been trying to reassure myself that I saved people, down there," the Briton murmurs. "I, uhhh, can confirm that the vest I was given to wear beneath the leathers works. There's a hole in the back of these, but none in me. And no one else down there was in a fit state to carry Tamara out. Or to get people up and out of the subway tunnels. But… I could have made getting people out of that trench so much easier. I am so very, very sorry I couldn't be there too."
Quinn would rather not think about what could have made things easier. That things had to play out the way they did is some of the only solace she's convinced herself of. "It was awful," she says quietly. She's cried too much lately to have many tears left in her, but there's definitely emotion in her voice. "I've never seen so many people die so fast." She swallows audibly, falling silent for a moment as she tries to compose herself.
"I'm glad your okay," she says, slowly pulling back and disentangling herself from the other woman. A pat - gentle - on her shoulder as she steps away. "So what brings you from one hell t' this one," she asks as she looks around the room, brow furrowing as she tries to see where she threw her stick.
It kind of blends into the floor, unfortunately. She's going to need to paint it white or something. That'll stand out anywhere but the snow. There's a small falter in her step as she starts forward, arms suddenly out in a motion to help steady herself.
Ygraine is a little reluctant to let Quinn go, but does so as soon as the musician pulls back. She offers a lop-sided, sad little smile, before a slight shrug produces another creak from her leathers. "I've just come up from the heart of New York", she says softly. "Part of the reason I, ahh, probably smell pretty rank. Bypassing the military's not the cleanest of tasks, given the way I do it. But I wanted to reach a couple of points inside the cordon, and try to glean what information I could. I'm on my way back up North, now, to rejoin everyone from 'my' group who was too sick or injured to travel. I'm the one in rugged good health, comparatively. So… I need to get back up there. And as soon as we can move, we need to find somewhere we can hole up that's at least a *little* safer. And preferably without further overloading *here*. There's one option I know of: we'll probably take that."
"I so don't even care," Quinn remarks, referring to any smells that may be coming from the other woman. "I haven't had a proper shower since Cambridge, so fuck it," she remarks with a dismissive wave of her hand as she continues to scan the ground. It takes a moment before the finds the outline of the stick and hefts it up, turning back towards her bed. "How long are you going t' be stayin' around here," she asks, a bit more quietly, looking towards her guitar.
She takes a moment to look back at the windows - with the blinds pulled down halfway it's darker than most of the other rooms; despite that, Quinn still wears her sunglasses. "It'd be nice if you could stay for a bit. Only a few other people I feel like talkin' to, and Rue and Lynette are both mostly busy an' I dunno what Kaylee an' Gillian are up to." She's not even 100% sure Gillian or Jolene are on the island, but she keeps that to herself.
Ygraine actually double-takes slightly at the indication that she's someone Quinn wants to talk to, even if it then turns out that she's part of quite a long list: still, it's perhaps a good thing that the half-blind songstress might well miss it… and the look of deep concern that follows. "I… can certainly stay long enough for a chat," she ventures, trying to put a smile into her voice - and to keep it there, even as she risks a question. "What'd you like to talk about?"
A chat. That certainly wasn’t what Quinn was hoping for, if she were to tell the truth. “I mean don’t really want t’ keep you if you have things y’ need t’ do, Ygraine.” Quinn offers back a smile as she sits down on the edge of the bed, stick propped up against the wall. “There’s a lot t’ be done these days. Kinda like pure chaos from what I hear, yeah?” She picks up her notebook off the floor, squinting as she looks over it.
After a moment, a small sigh escapes her lips. “I just…” She flips through it. “I dunno.” Lips quirk side to side. “I dunno,” she repeats, flipping through pages. She falls silent, setting her notebook aside in favour of lifting her guitar back into her lap. “Have y’ ever wondered where you’d be if y’ couldn’t- like… “ She cants her head to the side. “Do the thing y’ do, with your ability? Where we’d all be if we were just… standard ol’ people.”
Given the multiple signs of damage to Quinn's sight, and her own horribly clear memories of that first night in which Colette decided to break her fellow photokinetic free from some of the restrictions on what she thought she could do, Ygraine had just now set aside the intention of relaxing on the wall opposite her hostess - adopting the sort of orientation-redefining pose for which Lene has dubbed her 'Ender', that has become second-nature since going underground - and instead creaks over to take a totally mundane perch on the room's chair, turning it neatly so that she precisely face the other woman.
"If you need time with me, or time away from here, I can grant that," she says softly, intently. "But I'm afraid that I need to get back up to Massachusetts. With you, if you want to come. But Tamara's in a coma. Graeme's recovering from acute radiation poisoning - his ability seems to be *enabling* him to recover, thank God. Remi's a telepath with a migraine that's lasted for days, and has PTSD she's trying not to broadcast to all of us. The other person up there literally got stabbed in the back. I've just been in and out of the heart of New York, to check for survivors and messages there" - presumably crossing the new military perimeter at least twice in the process - "but need to get back up North so I can move everyone somewhere safer."
She sighs, running a hand over her face, before mustering a weary half-smile. "Yeah. I wonder what life'd be like without my ability rather a lot. I'd certainly not be breaking into New York by crawling on the roof of a sewer pipe. Not something I recommend, by the way. But… would I be doing anything remotely useful now? I dunno. I like to think that I occasionally manage to get something right. Make a difference for the better. And there're some things I couldn't have done without the ability." She fails to keep a grimace from her features, though she's clearly trying to. "I was the only person on the spot who could even try to get anyone out of a firebombed building, inside the Dome. I could run them out onto external walls, and send them down to ground level. That time, at least, I saved lives. I… try to hang onto that kind of thing. In spite of the nightmares, they're people I helped. And without my ability? Well. I might very well have been in New York anyway, trying to face down my demons. Just unable to do that."
Quinn doesn't face Ygraine, not directly. She keeps her eyes on the shimmering grey guitar in her lap - red to Ygraine. Her fingers move over the strings, and she offers the nod. "I can't leave. Not yet at least. Megan'd rather I stick around for observation, an' there's- there's still things I can do t' help, I guess. Plenty of it t' do with so many hurt or dead, y' know?" She takes a deep breath. "I promised I'd stick around through first week a' December at least. Let people get back from Alaska, see if things calm down in New York…"
Quinn offers a small shrug. "Sounds like this is the safest place for me right now." Lips thin, looking over towards the windows. "I don't-" Uncertainty is clear on Quinn's face. She's talked about this with Rue, Megan, others. She's past the point of wanting to talk, it makes her feel like a burden.
Thankfully, this is Ygraine. She understands.
"I don't remember most of what happened in the Arcology," she admits after a moment of silence. "Gettin' there, Eve an' I saw a name on the list - Else Kjelstrom - an' went lookin' for 'er. Got her an' a few of her newly written songs," Quinn pauses to motion to the messenger bag that has papers spilling out of it at the head of the bed, "An' had a runin with Simon Broome." She lets that hang there for a moment before she continues, with a long, dramatic sigh.
"I don't…" She swallows. "I don't remember after that. I remember comin' across Doyle, makin' our way outta the place with the kids. Avi, Raith…" She sets the guitar aside, hands in her lap. "Else was there. Liette, Julie, some others." She closes her eyes, and takes off her sunglasses before continuing, eyes still closed. "They didn't make it. Liette, her mom…" She pauses, choking back some emotion. "Doyle. Else." Hands reaching up, rubbing over her face, before she finally looks up at Ygraine, revealing dull grey eyes in place of brilliant green ones.
"I have a migraine that won't quit, a-an I can barely see, Ygraine. Like, at all, even aside that there's no colour anymore." She sighs, falling backwards on her bed, eyes closed again. "Right now, I would kill t' have been normal. I'm glad I was able t' help people. Always will be, but…" Did she? Else hadn't made it out, after all. "Getting used t' using a flashlight again isn't so bad."
Ygraine listens intently, leaning forward to rest forearms on thighs, a slight furrow in her brow as she devotes her full attention to Quinn. Though that frown deepens, she forces herself not to look away from Quinn's miscoloured gaze, instead steadfastly meeting flat grey where she can so clearly remember vivid green.
"I met Else. And Eric. Down there, in the Ark," she says gently. "I enthused at Else about how delighted you'd be to know she was there. Then Eric came with us, to help get Julie. She'd been standing next to the reactor, absorbing the radiation to delay it going overloading. She's the main reason we all had as much time to get people out as we did. But I'm… I'm glad you met Else. However briefly, I'm glad. I've heard you rave about her talent, and her music. And I remember you mourning her. How much her work meant to you. That you got a little time with her, and more music… However much losing her again hurts, I'm pleased you got that little bit more than had seemed possible, Robyn."
She manages to keep her voice soft and warm, even on the forename that once was all but unused by anyone save her.
"I… I saw things in there I wish I could believe I'd ever forget. I've got more that had already built up in the Dome, and from… events before it too. But the worst?" She sighs, shaking her head slightly. "I suspect the worst I've been through came in the two days after the Bomb. I've got snatches, fragments, moments of it. Some, I'm now pretty sure was real - crawling up a wall, choking on dust and wondering why the world was so skewed. For a long time, I was sure that was just an hallucination. But… I'm pretty sure my mind hid most of it. 'Cause gaps and holes and blank bits were better than what had actually taken place."
The Briton sighs, then shrugs apologetically. "Which is probably one of the worst pep talks ever. But… the holes I have in my memory: I think they're better than what I experienced. There's a good chance that body and mind are both conspiring to help you, right now. That they're trying to give you the best shot they can at getting better. It sucks. And I can believe you about the migraine. I think I broke my head, my talent, and the laws of physics all in one go, at one point. But this does seem to get better, from what I've seen of people overtaxing their abilities. Honestly. Just… give yourself time. Please."
"I-" Quinn takes this all in in stride, despite her natural instinct to argue. She just lets herself sit quietly and nod, hands folded in her lap. "Megan said it could be months. Yeahs." Quinn swallows audibly."Normally I start t' see some sorta improvement by now." She frowns, turning one of her hands over so that her palm faces upwards. Fingers flex and move, but nothing happens afterwards.
"I think I burned myself out. Like a lightbulb in a power surge," she says quietly, an apt analogy even if she doesn't remember well enough to know it. "I don't feel light anymore. I can't- make it or do anything. It's like before, back- back before I even knew I could." She frowns a bit, sliding her sunglasses back on to her face. "Maybe that'll take time too, but f'r now i just feel… normal." Lips quirk side to side. "Honestly? I'm not sure I mind."
She lets out another small sigh. "I didn't know you bumped int' Else, though. That's nice. She was nice." She motions again to the bag. "I have the last songs she ever wrote, while the Institute had her. I'm gonna learn 'em all, play 'em in her honour."
Ygraine nods encouragingly, gaze lingering on the bag. "I'm glad." Repeating herself, but evidently sincerely. "I… think she would appreciate that." Looking back to Quinn, she finds another soft smile. "I know that other people will."
"Just… do give it time. All of it. When I said Tamara was in a coma, I wasn't exaggerating. For the two days I was with her after carrying her out, she didn't even stir. What you've done to yourself is horrible. I don't argue that at all. But… I truly do think your body's trying to help you."
And… yeah. I can imagine that time without it would be welcome, to be honest. When we got to somewhere that was at least temporarily safe, and I could stop using mine… I didn't even dare try to do anything with it, for more than a day. Didn't even want to risk trying to feel anything that way. Just in case it broke, or I broke, or it went wild again. And I, ahh, sprained it much, much less badly than you have yours. So being glad of it not… pushing at your awareness. Of being mundane again. I get that."
She flexes her fingers again, but time she isn't trying to summon up light again. This time, she just wants to stretch a bit. "Thanks, Ygraine," Quinn remarks quietly, smiling a bit more. "You always know how t' make me feel better. Dunno what I'd do without you." Maybe not the best choice of words, but certainly the truth. With a groan, the Irishwoman rises to her feet, moving to envelop Ygraine in another tight hug.
"I can at least walk around with y' for the day, before you leave. See if I can help out with anythin'. I think everyone else's been busy an' really people aren't lettin' me do too much anyway. Writing more depressin' music can wait." She steps back - almost into the bed, which causes a little bit of flailing - and then smile. "Gonna need t' keep the sunglasses though. Too much light seems t' hurt at the moment."
Ygraine firmly suppresses a surge of temptation to respond with harsh sarcasm to Quinn wondering what she might do without her… then finds herself enfolded, and returns the embrace. Her eyes close as she briefly loses herself in that painfully familiar hair. There's something of a struggle to catch and make sense of Quinn's words thereafter, and when they separate she has to swallow and blink… before managing a hasty attempt at a smile, and a quick nod of her head.
"Are you up to it? Physically, I mean. I… don't really have many precise goals here. I was going to check for messages. See if I could carry any up to Massachusetts, or maybe to the rest of Endgame. I can contact Alia, come to think of it, as something I really should remember to tell you. And she can contact me. Just in case that's relevant to you, or anyone who needs to get hold of us. But I can take you for a constitutional, at least, while I see if anyone wants to make use of me."
"I mean I can walk. I'm more sore, less hurty-hurty now," Quinn remarks, waving a hand back and forth. "Spending… spending most of the last few days out cold, sleeping, or walking around has helped." She offers a small shrug of her shoulders. "Getting out t' walk more is never a bad idea, so…" Quinn motions towards the door, mustering a small smile as she rises up to her feet. "I can't leave, but I can at least do that."
She offers the other woman an arm, leaning against her if it's taken. "You can tell me 'bout the folks in Endgame. I've only heard a bit 'bout them but I know they helped out in Cambridge an' a bunch of them are in Alaska. They seem like a good bunch a' folks." She tilts her head, looking towards Ygraine. "If I need t' reach you I bet I can get Noa t' do it, 's long as you're near something that can handle radiowaves."
Ygraine does indeed allow her arm to be taken, the weakness in her own seemingly now wholly banished - and if anything, she's even more stable and strong than before the Dome. "I'm going to collect a stash I hid, on my way back North. One I've had in place for a while, in case I ever needed to get out of the city in a hurry. A few basic supplies. Nothing at all fancy. But given it's me, it includes some of that crank-powered tech I relied on so much in the Winter from Hell. So I'll have a radio, at least. And burner phones are easy to pick up. I'm carrying one now."
"But Endgame? Hah. Liz brought me in. I first spoke to her back in oh-eight. When I told you in March that I was going to hide, and was using old contacts I'd made before I was ever invited into the Ferry… she's the lynchpin for it. She and some of the others… they've become a family for me. I was in the Ark with two of them: Graeme and Remi. Remi wound up in hiding with us, a while after I did. The rest… they went off to Alaska. I don't yet know what happened there. Even Alia doesn't. But there's a rendezvous out West, if New York's not safe. And frankly it's nowhere *close* to that right now. Our safehouse is intact, and so was Grand Central - I popped in for a visit to check how they were, and how winding it down was going - but getting people in and out requires my sort of talents, or something equivalent. And I wouldn't want to take wounded or sick people by my routes."
She shakes her head, now escorting Quinn slowly along the corridor outside. "But who else might you have met? Richard Cardinal's the 'mastermind', though I don't know him that well. He and Liz recruited me to do intelligence and communications analysis: first time any of the organisations really wanted to make use of my brain and my non-physical skills, which was… well. Validating. I liked Richard - we seem to share a sense of humour in teasing Liz, if nothing else - but I didn't get to know him at all well before he disappeared for half the year… then when he returned, he naturally spent most of his time with Liz rather than us."
"Otherwise? Hrrm. My fellow 'sensei' in the Ferry, Jaiden, is with us. Well, on his way back from Alaska at the moment, I hope. But I've spent a *lot* of the months in hiding training with him. The last five really seriously, once my arm was fully up to it again. He's one of the people who really helped me more than I can say, along with Liz and Graeme. I'd do just about anything for them now."
"I met Liz!" Quinn seems oddly excited about that. "She borrowed one a' my keyboards. Is that doin' well for you guys?" She had actually forgotten about that until just now, but the mention of her jostles it loose from her memory. "I know Remi too." That one she sounds less enthused about, and maybe even a little grimace crosses her face. It doesn't last long, Quinn trying her best not to show it. "I've met Cardinal. Er, Richard I guess." Quinn can't remember if she ever knew his first name before right now. "Mostly 'cause of Magnes, which means we just ended up arguin'. I hear- mostly good things, though?" She offers a small shrug. "I feel like I should talk t' him sometime." She glances back towards her room, where she had those songs Else wrote. "I remember he was all about buyin' certian paintings at the Tartarus auction."
"I have the impression that he thinks that Magnes is a world-endangering, self-obsessed little shit who casually fucks things up and is incapable of learning from *any* of his catastrophically terrible errors," Ygraine says dryly - a slight smile lifting one side of her mouth as she risks gently challenging Quinn to *feel*, and in connection with one of the few things they openly disagreed upon while together. "But perhaps I'm projecting. And… honestly. The keyboard was a godsend. Liz used it a lot more than me, of course. But I got to play on it now and then. It was… really kind of you. Very much appreciated. It was a huge help to Liz. When Richard was… gone, the chance to lose herself in music… that was immensely important. Really, really helped her. I did what I could, but… yeah. You did good there. All of us who love her owe you for that."
Remi, the Briton opts not to bring up again - either because she has some idea of past events, or perhaps because she's managed to read Quinn's expression right.
"Who doesn't think that?" Quinn can't help but grin. "But he's a good kid. I know you're not fond a' him, an' I'm not always either, but- he's a good kid." Kid probably not the right word, but Quinn feels much older than she actually is right now. "Well, I'm glad t' hear it," she remarks about the keyboard, looking around as they make their way down the hallway.
There's a moment of silence before Quinn lets out a small sigh. "An' let Tamara know I'm glad she's alright, it y' don't mind. I haven't seen her in forever, but… I know a buncha people'll be glad t' hear that she's alright." Alright is relative right now, of course. "What're you gonna do after everythin' gets settled, Ygraine?" she asks after a moment of hesitation. "Like… once everyone's back, an' this is all behind us."
"If - when - she wakes up from her coma, I'll let Tamara know you send good wishes." Ygraine manages to find a smile… while still sparing a few stray thoughts for ruminating on the fact that, compared to so many in the Evolved Underground, she and Quinn are pretty close to being old maids. They're close to thirty, after all. "After? Crumbs. I… right now, I'm still gathering information, and trying to find out who's alive out there, I'm afraid. I want to find Brian, if he's around. Have a chat with him about what he's seen in various places, if he's willing and able to share. After leaving here? Back North to collect the others. Then… probably head out to meet however many from Endgame are able to get to a rendezvous. This place is overloaded already, and only likely to get worse, the more people manage to get out of New York. If we can divert ourselves and spare at least a little pressure…. But if you mean beyond that? Fuck. I honestly don't even know when I last dared think about a, well, personal future."
Quinn purses her lips. "I told Rue I was going t' leave." She looks up at Ygraine for a moment, before lowering her eyes down to the floor. "Like, New York." She lets that sit for a moment, before tightening her grip on Ygraine. "Dunno about all that, now that I'm in less of a mood, but- it's not the worst idea." She gives a little shrug, just walking arm in arm with Ygraine for a little bit.
"When you're at the end of the road, and you lost all sense of control," Quinn starts to sing quietly, and somewhat awkwardly, as they pair walks. "And your thoughts have taken their toll, when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul." She stretches out the note a bit before continuing. "Your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass. Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins."
Ygraine listens… trying to really listen. She's always loved Quinn's singing voice, even before she fell for the Robyn she saw behind the performer's faces. But she knows that music and lyrics are very often how Quinn feels best able to communicate, so she pays close attention to each syllable as well as the notes along which they are strung.
"How… how far are you thinking of going, now?", she asks quietly. "It sounds as if you might do a bit more than leave New York." She carefully avoids mentioning the otherwise-obvious destination of Boston; the home city of Quinn's mother is not exactly a haven of tranquility at the moment, either.
"Dunno," is a half honest answer. She knows where she half deliriously asked Rue to run away with her to, but… "Just not here,' she states, sounding a bit more firm in that decision. She lets out a long sigh. "A pipe dream, though, like everythin' else. I can't just- up an' leave." Her lips thin though, stopping she can look more directly at Ygraine. "But all a' this? This I can leave." She look around, hoping no one is paying too much to her. "I dunno. Maybe. I just…." She huffs out a breath. "I'm uncertain of a lot right now, Yggy."
Ygraine lightly increases the pressure on Quinn's arm, managing to find another slight smile. "Welcome to my world," she says softly. "I've spent most of my life trying to figure out what on Earth is going on. Every now and then, I think I manage to get a glimpse of it…." A rueful little chuckle accompanies a head-shake. "But I do know what you mean. And… you're hurt. And when I hooked you up with the Ferry, it was to help smuggle and protect people. Not… get caught up in a massacre after storming a fortress. This wasn't what I wanted for you. Not at all."
"Why haven't you left?" is a pointed, and unintentionally forceful question from Quinn, looking up at Ygraine with eyes narrowed behind her sunglasses. "Like… for good?" She quirks her lips side to side. "Like, not t' be a bitch. But you actually have, like, somethin'- someone- waitin' for you elsewhere." She hangs her head, letting out a sigh. "I wouldn't want yout t' leave, 'course. But I don't understand why we stay anymore."
Ygraine's brows arch, and she lets out a surprised little burst of laughter. "Facing down demons, is the short answer. I know you don't like hearing it… but I was so insane that I was considered a danger to myself and others, and spent the better part of a year as a guest of the state, back home. Part of what let me rebuild any kind of a functioning personality was a determination not to succumb to all my fears. I came back to New York to try to face them down. And… running away might remove too many of the few foundations I have left for my mind. There are… still people here I care about. Whom I can help."
Quinn gives a small nod in response to Ygraine, a small smile forming on her face. She gets it. Despite her ouburst to Rue the other night, she really did have too much to just up and leave. She thinks, at least. She's still evaluating all of that in her head.
"Sounds reasonable enough t' me," she finally responds, voice low. "You're strong, Ygraine. I dunno if you always think that, but I do." With that, she disentangles herself from the other woman's arm, a hand reaching out to the wall to steady herself as she walks on her own. "It's probably good I'm not totally blind. Just halfway there," she remarks with a laugh that so genuine it surprises her a little bit. "Let's walk a bit longer before I got back t' my room. The courtyard's rather nice right now."
"I can tag along, on the long way around back to your room," Ygraine volunteers, voice gentle as she tries not to be too open in her worried study of Quinn's movement… though that unexpected burst of genuine laughter did bring a smile to her lips, and helped to keep her thoughts from darker paths. "Checking in on you really was one of my goals in coming here. However much I can justify the visit with logistics and the sharing and gathering of information, there're a handful of people I'm really rather specifically keen to make sure are in the world."
Quinn gives a bit of a laugh at that too, though it's a slightly more sullen one. "Well, I'm as fine as can be right now," she offers back, giving a small shrug. "So, I'm gonna chalk that up as a win." She gives a shallow nod, before turning abruptly on her heel to head back the way they came. "If y' want, I wouldn't mind the escort back."
Honestly, Quinn just kind of ready for a nap.
Ygraine's heart leaps into the back of her throat… but after a moment she manages to choke it back far enough to both smile and find her voice again. "Of course," she says gently, turning around as well. "We can take whatever route you like." Not that she expects Quinn to want to pursue any of the less conventional paths that Ygraine has explored on previous visits to the Island, but at least she can provide supportive company for the painfully damaged woman by her side.